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Johnny M
Works at Dark World International
Attended Aquinas High School
Lives in Minneapolis
202 followers|49,474 views
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Johnny M

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I am currently sitting in the lobby of the Mariott Hotel in Brooklyn Park while Robert is having his second-round job interview.
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Johnny M

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"Kubo is a vibrant, emotional, and at all times beautiful film...It’s an ode to the power of storytelling that manages to tell a powerful story in its own right that each viewer can connect to and enjoy in their own way. Like the best of fairy tales and the best of animation, it is at its core an elementally human experience."
“Kubo” Is A Classic Story For All Ages. By Johnny M. “Kubo” Is A Classic Story For All Ages. August 19, 2016 at 7:12AM EDT. The best fairy tales are the ones that don't seem like what modern audiences have come to think of as “fairy tales.” While the original purpose of fairy tales was to ...
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Johnny M

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I found out today that my psychiatrist is an old-school computer role-playing geek. I told her today that I started a new game of "Champions of Krynn", and she told me how much she loved playing "Wizardry" and "Pool Of Radiance" back in the day. She said one of her biggest problems with online gaming is that people don't believe she's really a woman.

I knew there was a reason I liked her.
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Johnny M

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Today at the store, I rang up a purchase for a woman named Becky. She had really good hair. She seemed like a perfectly nice person. I don't know what Beyoncé's so salty about.
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Johnny M

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"While the film is still often fun and genuinely humorous in many ways, it never forms a sure and steady balance between character and action or between rebellion and convention. For a film that’s about the worst criminals in the DC Universe, it seems disappointingly safe."
“Suicide Squad” Could Use A Pep Rally. By Johnny M. “Suicide Squad” Could Use A Pep Rally. August 05, 2016 at 1:04AM EDT. What if you threw a superhero party and didn't recognize anybody who showed up? That's sort of the vibe given off by Suicide Squad, the third film in the unsteady, ...
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Johnny M

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Remember the good old days when #Pokemon was just some weird Japanese cartoon that gave third-graders seizures? Ah, memories. #PokemonGO 
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Johnny M

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Hey, local neighborhood idiots. Are you done lighting all your firecrackers and boom-booms? Good. About fucking time. That means I can get maybe 4 hours sleep before I need to get up again for an early doctor appointment and a trip to the apartment leasing office. Big emphasis on the maybe. 
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In his circles
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202 people
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Brad Baker's profile photo
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MICHAEL GARREN's profile photo
David Hill's profile photo
Mark Russell's profile photo
Dread Naught Photography's profile photo

Johnny M

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This is my special drink. This is my lime-in-the-coconut. It's not the best use of my money, but it's one of the very, very few indulgences I allow myself.
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Johnny M

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"More so than either one of the J. J. Abrams’-directed films in the rebooted Star Trek film franchise, Beyond explicitly invokes the very human vibe that made the original series connect with audiences 50 years ago and that typifies the best entries in the film canon. Had the whole film focused on that, it might have come out a bit better than it did. The mix of action and character doesn’t quite work nearly as well as it should, but it’s still a bold step in the right direction."
“Star Trek Beyond”: Something Old, Something New. By Johnny M. “Star Trek Beyond”: Something Old, Something New. July 22, 2016 at 10:28AM EDT. The Star Trek film franchise has always had a hard time balancing the ideas and humanity of original series swith the high-powered action that cinematic ...
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Whether its the ghosts that plague New York City, the specter of nostalgia, or even just the trolls of the Internet, these girls kick a whole lot of ass without ever once losing their sense of humor. If all reboots were this much fun, summer at the movies might not be quite as scary.
“Ghostbusters”: Busting Like A Boss. By Johnny M. “Ghostbusters”: Busting Like A Boss. July 15, 2016 at 9:50AM EDT. It's unfair to compare the 2016 reboot of Ghostbusters to the 1984 original. That film was possessed of a singular type of chemistry and coincidence that remains impossible to ...
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Johnny M

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I've been kind of off all day. I kept telling myself it was just the chronic fatigue. Maybe it was the humidity. Maybe this, maybe that. I was busy at work, so I didn't think much about it.

Then, as I was getting ready to leave, I realized that my knees were shaking, and that it was difficult to stand. Even now, sitting down on the couch, my knees are shaking a little, and it's hard to relax. In fact, my whole body is starting to tense up into a giant cramp.

I'm genuinely upset about Philando Castle's death. A senseless death that never should have happened. A death that happened in one of the most unremarkable and least dangerous suburbs of the Twin Cities, and not even an exurb or anything like that. It's surrounded by major shopping centers and the State Fairgrounds. Even a place like that isn't safe anymore.

Then I kept flashing back to the time I got stopped by the cops two blocks from the apartment while I was walking home. I remember the tone the officer took with me, that fake small talk where a statement is an accusation. I remember realizing that if I hadn't had my ID on me, he would have thrown me in his car. He claimed I resembled a homeless man in the area that he'd been trying to track down. Even the best actor in the world couldn't have sold me that bullshit.

I've been stopped by cops a number of times for being gay. I got a speeding ticket because of it once. On a separate occasion, while driving to a company gathering at my old job, another cop tailed me for three miles until she pulled me over for...I don't know what. I think she may have actually claimed that I had a busted tail light. That's what I get for putting a rainbow on my bumper.

Minorities are not safe. We have been made targets by decades of political rhetoric and religious dogma. We, as a culture, refuse to acknowledge the hateful force eating us from within. We may mourn for victims of tragedy, we may apply a filter to our profile pic, we might offer all the thoughts and prayers we can utter, but in the end we forget about it and move on. We have become desensitized to our own destruction.

I don't want to live in this kind of culture. I shouldn't have to. None of us should. Yet even while I type this, a man who wants to become president is willfully and unrepentantly fomenting more of this toxic hate just to get a few votes. It sickens me.

My heart breaks for the families of Alton Sterling and Philando Castle, a heart already trying to heal from the massacre of my own people in Orlando. And my knees refuse to stop shaking. 
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People
In his circles
105 people
Have him in circles
202 people
bret byers's profile photo
Kathleen Culhane's profile photo
Brad Baker's profile photo
Thraicie Hawkner's profile photo
Robert M West's profile photo
MICHAEL GARREN's profile photo
David Hill's profile photo
Mark Russell's profile photo
Dread Naught Photography's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Musician/writer
Skills
Music (arrangement/composition/piano), writing (fiction/genre/essay), dancing (burlesque/pole), sarcasm/snark
Employment
  • Dark World International
    Recording artist, 2010 - present
  • Dr. Farrago's Burlesque Theatre
    Manager, 2005 - present
  • Fanboys Of The Universe
    Writer/reviewer, 2008 - 2012
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Minneapolis
Story
Introduction
For more information on Johnny and his music, please check the links.  What?  You want me to type it all OVER again?  Oh, all those words...
Bragging rights
One of Minnesota's original and most active male burlesque performers.
Education
  • Aquinas High School
    1991 - 1995
  • University of Minnesota
    1995 - 1998
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Relationship
Single
Other names
Johnny M Gayzmonic