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Joey Kulkin
Annnnd the pitch ...
Annnnd the pitch ...

Joey's posts

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Another photo shoot with Abba the Bull ...

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I started to watch Lou Grant for the first time in 40 years when a redheaded girl walked into the gallery and ...

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Mr. Tomlin buys a painting by Mike Bethel. THAT Mike Bethel.

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Here is Kulk's Q&A with crazy-eyed comedian Kurt Metzger of the show Horace and Pete, by far the most artistic and exquisite theatrical production on the Internet these days. Kulk asked Kurt these questions in a series of Twitter messages. He answered in kind.

Kulk: Why do you think Louis called you to be in the show?

Kurt: 1. Luckily for me I happened to fit in a particular spot in his grand plan for the show.

Kulk: How did he describe the show, and what did you think of his idea?

Kurt: He described it as a sitcom that had no laugh track and he could put out whenever and could have current events in it and had zero marketing. That way if you don't like it, so what? It's not for you. He didn't push it in your face like everything is now. Also all these huge names were in it just because they wanted to work with him. Also Paul Simon agreed to write a theme song. I thought it was the coolest thing I ever heard.

Kulk: What did you think after the 1st episode?

Kurt: That I would probably never get to do something as cool as this again.

Kulk: What has the defining moment of the show been?

Kurt: Episode 3 I think. Laurie Metcalf is stunningly good delivering this long ass monologue. Also it's short and only has 3 characters. It's a good marker of how unpredictable the show is.

Kulk: How would you characterize working with Alan Alda?

Kurt: That guy is great. But really everyone is cool to work with on it. It's cartoonishly ideal. Alan is very comfortable to be around. We sit at a bar for long stretches so you end up hanging out like it's a real bar. I'm not really an actor. So I didn't realize how much of it is the other actors. Since they're all pros and legends it makes it easier for me. Closest thing to acting class I ever had I guess.

Kulk: Did they really need to kill off Uncle Pete?

Kurt: I don't know if they needed to do anything in the show. It kinda just happens. Like life.

Kulk: Funniest thing Steven Wright has blurted between takes?

Kurt: In the one with Trisha where she is yelling the n-word because of her Tourettes. And Greer who plays Carl who is black, tells her he's not offended. Steven blurted out "I wasn't offended either!" Louis put it in because it cracked us up.

Kulk: You kickstarted the "cunt" episode with a unique story about Abraham and Lot and anal sex. What was the episode about in your mind?

Kurt: I didn't even think about it at all. I am an uncultured buffoon who'd never watch a play unless he was in it. I'd never have seen this show if I wasn't in it. I got sucked into the story from sitting at the bar listening to it. So because I'm part of the story, I kinda only look at it from the inside and I never pull back and look at the big picture. I like just letting it unfold and not interpreting it. I didn't know what the first episode was about until I watched it with my smarter gf and she explained it to me. She was bored at first and then she was quiet for a while and I looked over and saw she was crying. And I thought "wow!" This show has some heavy themes. Anyway she hasn't explained 7 to me yet.

Kulk: Who writes the material for Kurt's rants?

Kurt: Louis. Maybe Vernon Chatman? I'm not sure who writes what. But if Louis gets bored with his own writing he has us improvise. He overheard me telling Steven Wright the story of Sodom. Steven had never heard it apparently. Louis thought that was more interesting so he had me tell that instead of script lines. You can't just go off script at a whim, but Louis is very collaborative. Jessica Lange would have all these good ideas for her character and Louis would use them. That was cool to watch. The whole thing is deeply satisfying to work on.

Kulk: When is the Kurt-centric episode?

Kurt: Ha! I don't know. Kurt is supposed to be there as the wild third perspective that crashes into an already ongoing argument. I think he cast me because of my Facebook. Who knew my terrible Facebook would get me this?

Kulk: What moment or episode kicked your ass because it was artistic perfection?

Kurt: Episode 3 for sure. Also Edie Falco at the end of episode 1. Everything Alan Alda did. My best I did was episode 7.

Kulk: Laurie Metcalf's 9-minute monologue was _____

Kurt: See above ravings about how great she is.

Kulk: You a day drinker? If so, what's your day drink?

Kurt: I don't drink really. More of a weed man.

Kulk: Which comedians make you laugh hardest?

Kurt: Attell. Patrice. Brian Regan. Louis certainly. Nick Mullen. Jay Oakerson. Mike Epps. There's not enough room for all of them. Nick Dipaulo cracks me up between takes. Filming stuff gets boring while you wait so me and him hang out like high school kids.

Kulk: Seriously, what the fuck, why'd they go kill off Uncle Pete?

Kurt: Probably a combo of his mistakes in life and because Alan possibly had other shit to do.

Kulk: Do you think Melissa Stephens could fit in at Horace and Pete's?

Kurt: Who dat? Yes? I don't know her.

Kulk: Production-wise, what DON'T you want Horace and Pete to turn into?

Kurt: It won't. It's fundamentally designed not to turn into what I don't want.

Kulk: Which show is better, Louie or Horace and Pete?

Kurt: Horace and Pete. Louis is not playing Louis. I like that.

Kulk: What's the deal with Steve Buscemi?

Kurt: Steve Buscemi is one of the best guys to be on a set with for hours. He just tells you great stories about movies you love. Also great generous actor. I always heard that term "generous" and didn't know what the hell that meant. But Steve is that. Sets you at ease and sets you up for your lines and will step in and kinda pull you up if you fuck up. I wish I could hang out with that guy all the time. He used to be a standup too. Maybe that's why I like him. But he's like one of those people you feel like you always knew.

Kulk: Someone who doesn't know Kurt Metzger from Kurt Bevacqua should watch which comedic performance of his first?

Kurt: My hour on Comedy Central, White Precious.

Kulk: Rate the episodes.

Kurt: 3, 7, 1, 2, not sure. 3 and 7 are my favs. I love the end of 7.

Kulk: Have you ever cried?

Kurt: Has someone seriously answered "no" to that ever?

Kulk: Thought you might answer that way ... so when's the last time, and why?

Kurt: I cant remember. But it wasnt that long ago. I gotta think.

Kurt: Oh I remember. A friend died.

° ° °
Louis C.K. dropped the show 8 weeks ago with zero fanfare -- best decision he could have made -- and watched as the slow burning word of mouth has erupted into a fire of conversation fueled by stories and reviews from both the high pulp crowd and Internet word nerds.

Kulk isn't going to ruin things by wasting a thousand rambling thoughts to explain what Horace and Pete is about because it is something one must experience with virgin eyes and ears and emotions. But he can say that it's about an old Gotham dive bar and its day drinkers and he loves it.

And being that Kulk loves to share theatrical artistry of the highest order, here are the first 7 episodes he bought for just few bucks apiece.

Episode 1:
Episode 2:
Episode 3:
Episode 4:
Episode 5:
Episode 6:
Episode 7:

I've bought your ticket. Enjoy the ride.

When you're ready to keep riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave, head over to Horace and Pete -- -- before the wave breaks and rolls back ... or turns into a pillar of salt.

(Pictured: Kurt Metzger, center, with Steven Wright and Maria Dizzia. For more stills from this Q&A go to

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