Well I disagreed with everything until the Star Trek: Nemesis reference...just kidding. If I've got anything to add to this, it's that I can certainly understand the frustrations of the Trek fans. Whilst 2 films do not encapsulate the Star Trek brand as a whole, they are what MOST young people know Star Trek to be, irrelevant of the rich and varied back catalogue, as such it makes sense for them to over-analyse ever little point.
However, I agree wholeheartedly; just stop. Enjoy the film for what it is, or don't watch it and we'll file it away with Enterprise and not speak about it again.
Finally, the underwear scene has blown up beyond any reasonable proportions. Sure, you could argue had Kirk just peaked over his shoulder, and Carol, off screen, made the same comment, it would have had the same effect. Ultimately, it's 2013, it was ONE shot of a very attractive woman, that frankly screamed 'that's a well supporting bra' than 'oh my christ, Carol has become a sex object!'. Honestly, she's well covered up and before this we'd already been told 4 or 5 times she's very intelligent; it's not like we got 2 minutes of Carol's breasts on screen and nothing else.
The problem is, people identify a negative and stick to it; personally, I'm going to push this as a positive. If being a teenager is the same as it was when I was back in school, being a nerdy girl, science girl, no matter how hot, was enough to be singled out for harassment from the 'cool kids'. Well, don't worry about it girls; keep in good shape, follow your science dreams and you too could be getting checked out by the Galaxy's most eligible bachelor.