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Jesse Ratner
Works at Freelance
Attended University of California, Los Angeles
Lived in Los Angeles, Ca
88 followers|98,470 views


Jesse Ratner

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oh gosh.... why?..... why...? poor kid...where are your friends....
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Jesse Ratner

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Polish sentences.
  • Freelance
    The Creator, 1995 - present
  • Logitech
    Senior Editor, present
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Los Angeles, Ca - San Franciso, Ca - London, UK
From Facebook's 25 Things:
1. I compulsively diagram sentences in my head.
2. I am an eclectic listener and reader; I like Bach and Beck, Borges and the Business section of the Economist.
3. I love root beer.
4. I was born in England and once had an English accent. Then my parents moved to Los Angeles and I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. 
5. I wore an earring for a week.
6. I once worked for the guy who managed Crosby, Stills and Nash, and at one time managed Jim Morrison and The Doors. Then I got high for a week and didn't show up for work. So he fired me. Go figure. (I was older then/I'm younger then that now.)
7. I am a klutz. One time I tripped over a three-ring binder and cracked my head on the corner of our kitchen counter.
8. I used to go to El Tarasco's in El Segundo, Ca. with my high-school friends--Corey Alter, Steve Parker, Jeff Buice, Glen Stratton, Casey Banner--and I miss those times.
9. My daughter was born underwater. My wife, Teresa Brown, fell asleep between contractions and snored; her epidural was a cup of tea.
10. I got bit by a spider at my mom's house and it got infected and i had to have the bite cut open and drained.
11. I used to practice the trumpet while driving on L.A freeways.
12. I do the laundry in the family.
13. I was the lead trumpet player in a jazz band called Scooby Doo and the Doobies.
14. After my daughter Sarai was born, I carried the birth water (about 10 gallons) from our living room to Alamo Square (a block from our home).
15. I have been working on a novel for the last five years.
16 I've hydroplaned off the freeway twice. Once on a highway in Alabama, in the pouring rain, and the other time on the Dunbarton Bridge (near Palo Alto, Ca.) in the pouring rain.
17. I like tomatoes.
18. I like to read TS Elliot's "Four Quartets" when I am feeling sad and grandiose.
19 I played the trumpet at Dodger Stadium when I was 12. 
20. I made something that my wife called "Muck luck soup"; it was supposed to be Vietnamese coconut soup , but it looked like swamp water.
21. My favorite short poem is James Wright's "The Jewel." You can read it here --
22. One of my daughter's favorite songs right now is T-Pain's "Chopped and Screwed," which she pronounces "Chopped and Scrooged."
23. I like the hot-cold sensation of of sleeping under a lot of blankets while sticking one foot out and blowing the fan.
24. I wrote the tag line for Howard Stern's movie, Private Parts--Never before has a man done so much with so little--and when I am feeling sad and grandiose I think it is about me. 
25. I am a part-time egomaniac. (I know, that's not very random. It just seemed to be a good way to end this ridiculous exercise.)
Bragging rights
I don't like to brag/don't like to boast/But I'm intercontinental when I eat French toast.
  • University of California, Los Angeles
    BA/English, 1993 - 1995
  • San José State University
    MFA/Creative Writing, 2002 - 2005
Basic Information
Jesse Ratner's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
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