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Jerome Comeau
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Jerome Comeau

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OOC Last Post: Spoilers for Far Harbor follow.

So one of the things that I ran into during my vanilla playthrough of Fallout 4 is that there is, in fact, an in-game explanation for why your character has all of the video-game special abilities, and that's because they're not actually 200-ish years old -- it's because they're a synth, given a courser's body and replacement memories. I touched on that in my in-character AP notes before.

I think it's extremely interesting that Far Harbor picks up on that, and the leader of the Synth Enclave straight-up asks you if you're a synth or not. And that there's actually no way to tell, either way. So it becomes a narrative choice, to either identify as human, identify as synth, or point out that it doesn't matter either way.

In any event, I liked Far Harbor playing through it, but not enough to keep up my AP for F4. I've done almost everything that's possible to do in the game. I might come back to it later, possibly with another character / build, but it doesn't feel as alive or as varied as Skyrim did to me. Which is a shame; I am pretty burnt out on fantasy as a concept, so F4 with it's SF-ish background was very engaging to me. But the world felt much more constrained and simple than Skyrim (or, for that matter, Fallout: New Vegas).

If there's more DLC, I'll probably come back for it. But for now, I think Fallout 4 is getting put to bed.
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Jerome Comeau

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Oh, my dear dear boy. How I loved you. I am sorry I had to destroy you and everything you worked to build. I will mourn you for as long as I live, and I know that I failed you. I failed to make you see, to make you hear me. I used the Institute to destroy the Brotherhood of Steel, and then I used the trust you gave me to destroy the Institute.

There is no way to make a better world by building walls around ourselves. We must raise everyone, or all of us fall.

But I know that Shaun loved me too. And I know that because he left me a gift, even as I burned his world down around him. He left me my Shaun. Ten and feisty and curious and beautiful and mine, for me alone.

When he is older, when we have lived together more, when the world is safer, I will tell him what he is, and what more and more I'm convinced that I am.

Is he my grandson? It gets confusing, what with the (possible) time travel. But in my heart, I will cherish him, and keep him safe. I will give him a world where he can grow up free and strong. One day, there will be laws again, but until then, I will be the Cops.

So if you're reading this, and you have a radio, tune in. Let me know that you need help. Tell me your problem, and if I'm able, I'll help.

My name is Elisabeth. I used to be the Lone Wanderer.
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;_;

Jerome Comeau

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Well, there it is.
It's still a little rough, but it's in place and ready to be cataloged: the Brian A. Newman Memorial Boardgame Lending Library. Brian loved boardgames: collecting them, playing them, teaching others to play them, getting new people interested in them. He wa...
It's still a little rough, but it's in place and ready to be cataloged: the Brian A. Newman Memorial Boardgame Lending Library. Brian loved boardgames: collecting them, playing them, teaching others to play them, getting new ...
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Well done.  Brian would be honored.

Jerome Comeau

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"Let me just point out, Jerome, that you are leading a spirited defense of a movie that stars Christian Slater."

My book club is the best.
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HEATHERS!!!!!!!

Jerome Comeau

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There's a Mole in the Institute.

Someone who's working with the Railroad to liberate synths from their slavery and get them out, entirely out: out of the Commonwealth altogether. Tom gave me a method of contact, and after meeting him, I'm amazed this whole process ever actually successfully worked. I'm surrounded on all sides by children and fools, and if I believed in a deity the fact that anyone at all had successfully escaped would be my proof of their existence.

One benefit of having a son who is running a gigantic arcology project is that you get really, really nice toys. Also, you get access to all the secret spaces. So I was able to help out the Super Mutant by retrieving his research, and now as I understand it he's working on synthesizing a cure for himself. But only for himself; the cure won't work on anyone else.

This more than anything else is the pattern that convinces me that the Institute is headed in the wrong direction: there are so many individuals who are focused on making their own, individual life better, but never thinking about the greater good, or even the knock-on effects of their choices. Not just dismissing others' suffering, but actively ignoring it, wilfully avoiding the recognition that there are things they could be doing to make everyone feel better, safer, stronger. They have built a sanctuary for a select few, built on the backs of slaves, and they do not even see their own complicity in the horrors to which they actively contribute.

Shaun thinks that it's better to wall out the world, to make it about "us" and "them". I keep trying to tell him that the worst things happen when the Other is constructed as a concept. That humanity, and all it's misbegotten children, are all of us together in the world, and it's the responsibility of everyone to work towards something greater and better.

My biggest failures as a cop, as a lawyer, as a person were when I distanced myself from others. We are all connected in community together. When we recognize that we are catholic -- that is, universal and together -- then we begin to understand our best selves, and our best selves are what allow us to make our world better.

I wish Shaun would just listen when I try to tell him these things. But no, he's a grown man; hell, at this point he's older than I am. For all that he was kidnapped and taken from me, for all he's seen, he's still lived an incredibly sheltered life. He doesn't see that the shelter is a falsehood.

I hope I don't have to have a showdown with him, like I did with Kellogg. I'm not sure I could survive that.
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Jerome Comeau

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So here's a Thing that happens every so often, but was really brought to the forefront at a restaurant this week:

My first name, Jerome, is not a hugely popular name in the general population. It is, however, a reasonably popular name among non-white populations. So many people assume that "Jerome" is a "Black" name. This sometimes happens to me over the phone -- I will tell someone my name and they assume I'm African-American. I've also had several people tell me that they assumed I was Black before they met me or saw a picture of me because of my name. And when we were picking up our food a couple of days ago the very nice Vietnamese man behind the counter said it outright to me: "Huh. Jerome; that's not a very common name, especially for a white guy."

I get that reaction from black people, too, by the bye; I had a guy working security at Blizzcon ask me "Are you sure your name is 'Jerome'?" while he was looking at my driver's license.

That said, my nickname when I was a kid was 'Jerry' and it was pointed out to me that 'Jerome' might sound black, but 'Jerry' is "White as Fuck". 

I wonder if that's at least part of why I don't go by Jerry these days...
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One assumes the blame lies with Morris Day and the Time and/or Famly Guy.

Jerome Comeau

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My friend Brook Shelley wrote this. It's good. It's an important read. I have thoughts about it, which I will address later.
Brook Shelley on how banning cis men from queer spaces can hurt the groups such a rule is designed to protect in the first place.
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It's reaaaaaally really really good. Was happy to get to tell her that yesterday!
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Jerome Comeau

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It's still a little rough, but it's in place and ready to be cataloged: the Brian A. Newman Memorial Boardgame Lending Library. Brian loved boardgames: collecting them, playing them, teaching others to play them, getting new ...
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/crying Thank you. 

Jerome Comeau

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FYI, +Tristan Tarwater is kickstarting the second book of her amazeballs YA magic-and-piracy series, Hen & Chick. You want to back it, trust me.
A YA, sword & sorcery fantasy novel!
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One of the things I was gifted from Brian's collection. Hi, +Bruce Baugh​! 
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:-(

Jerome Comeau

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Jerome Health Update:

So, after a couple of thousand dollars worth of testing and imaging and procedures and whatnot, it turns out I'm actually pretty healthy for a white male in his 40s. After a discussion with +Jean B and several other friends, I decided to talk to a therapist, to see if the issue I was having was perhaps not physical but mental in nature.

The doctor I began seeing was pretty quick to acknowledge that I am a prime candidate for anxiety and stress and that my physical manifestations may be a result of that, including some serious repercussions from getting laid off with no notice two years ago; unexpected unemployment can be a serious mental blow that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT, but that's a rant for another time.

In any event, I was placed on a combination of medications to deal with my day-to-day anxiety and almost immediately the specific and noticeable difficulty, the extreme acute unrelenting nausea, went away. I still don't have much of an appetite, but we're trying a different medication combination for that, and aside from other more private side effects that seem to be lessening, I'm at this point mostly on an even keel. I can eat, I can keep food down, and while I'm not exactly hungry, I do enjoy eating again.

So TL;DR version: it was all in my head. Which didn't make it any less real, just more difficult to diagnose. Treatment is ongoing. Also, capitalism sucks.
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<3<3<3<3<3

Jerome Comeau

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Kellogg's memories indicated that Shaun had grown up while I was in cold storage. Maybe 8 or 10? So that's a lot of time lost. And then I worked with the Railroad to build a fucking teleporter to get into The Institute, and lo and behold it actually worked.

And then I found out how much time had actually passed. 

Sixty years. 

I want to go back in time and kill Kellogg again just for that. 

Sixty years.

If you ignore the years in the freezer, then Shaun is older now than I am. He's all grown up, and he looks so much like his father. He's so... distant. Brilliant (which he gets from me) and willful (which he gets from his dad) and, strangely, proud of me. "For trying to bring order to the chaos of the world above." 

He doesn't understand, though. He thinks you can just give up on people, that you can sacrifice people as if they were pawns. He doesn't know the world, doesn't understand that people are people, not things, doesn't get that you can't just cut yourself off from the world and hope that everything is going to be OK, because people are always people, both good and bad, and we carry that with us wherever and whenever we go. 

I can't explain it to him, either. He doesn't listen. He doesn't see that the synths are people too, and treating them as if they are disposable objects is wrong. And he's surrounded himself with people who won't or can't or don't disagree with him, which is a recipe for disaster.

We're set on different paths, and I think I'm beginning to realize that that's been true since Kellogg and his masters came and took Shaun away from me, all those decades ago. I suppose it's inevitable, but I wish we could have at least tried to walk together, for a little while, at least. Maybe I'd be better at explaining, and maybe he'd be better at listening. Or maybe not; maybe this was always what was going to happen, regardless of anything else. 

I love my boy, and I miss him fiercely, and I am sad that the man he has become means we'll end up on opposite sides of what's going to end up being a war. 
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;_;
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My timing is impeccable. No wait, what's the equivalent of 'peccable'?
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Almost willing to believe I'm capable of success.
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Able to make my mortgage payments. Just.
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  • Fallout Shelter
After an incredibly disappointing and frustrating search for an open appointment in Portland, I contacted Pro Caliber to schedule my first service on my new motorcycle. From the start, the experience was heartening and good; the person was sympathetic, was able to slot me in almost immediately, was able to give me a good, accurate quote, and was friendly and personable. On the day of my appointment, it was easy to get there, everyone I dealt with was friendly and professional, and the work on my bike was completed even a little faster than originally stated. The quote was dead on for the price, and it was competitive with other service departments in the area (and since no one else had an appointment available within three weeks, I'm OK with that). All in all, it was a great experience, and I'll be coming back again!
• • •
Quality: ExcellentAppeal: ExcellentService: Excellent
Public - 3 years ago
reviewed 3 years ago
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