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Jeffry Crews
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Up in the arctic for an oil spill exercise with hillcorp. Closest I've ever been to being an astronaut or explorer. The" hotel" I'm in is a prefab structure used to house hillcorp folks.!its connected to a pump station. Think the Nostromo landed on a planet. The environment is primordial flat to the horizon covered in pipelines processing plants for hundreds of miles. 

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Anyone want to send me good thoughts or selfies or cat videos today. Im in the middle of a move and really really stressed out.

To my toxic Mom, on mothers day.

When I think about you I still get sad. I could see you hurting all the time, and the anger beneath the surface. I could see the confusion about who you were, how you fit in and how you weren't able to love.

Your paranoia, your mania was too much. After 9/11 when I was working night and day and you demanded I come over and watch your house... I just couldn't. It was like when I put my foot down about you wanting to borrow my car when you were sure your ex girlfriend was following yours... but refused to give me the keys to your car. The anger was a white hot heat, almost as hot as your own self hatred for your queerness, and the conflict with your deeply evangelical church.

I hated and loved you when you tried to throw yourself out of the car when I was 13 to dig up a tree in Gettysburg because it had been watered by the blood of heroes, or when you retreated into depression, and anger.

I know you loved me, I knew you were broken.

One day you will die and I will get a note or an email and I will be incredibly sad.

It has been 16 years since I gave you a hug. Since I looked into your eyes, and since I saw you smile. I hate you for cutting me out, I love you for cutting me out. Why does it still hurt? 

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So yeah I get fundamentalism and all but how can you be a rules fundamentalist if the books expressly encourage you to change the rules. The # of folks on the thread who are horrified someone is encouraging people to make changes that let everyone enjoy a game is crazy. Especially when that game tells you in its book about how to run it ... hey this is fine and won't break anything if you change it... and then has a 30 or 40 pages on how to hack it to make it great for everyone. 

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The Laika folks came to our minicon in Juneau and I got to marvel at their puppets from kubo they were astounding!
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4/24/17
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I took the day off from work to just clean like a banshee today. 
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