Android 5.0, 6.0, 7.0 and 8.0

Congratulations to +Linaro and especially +Bernhard Rosenkränzer for releasing Android 5.0 before I even released it in AOSP. I will borrow your time machine yesterday so that I can restore causality. Once I'm done, the source code will have been available on Google's servers from 2pm to 4pm PDT on March 31 2012.

For the Android Open-Source Project, I was actually planning to skip Android 5.0 entirely, so that I could focus on Android 6.0 instead, codenamed "KumquatJamJustLikeMyWife'sGrandmotherUsedToMakeItBeforeSheReplacedTheKumquatTreeWithAMulberryTree", which was developed in parallel. We worked hard on the codename, and if you think that's not a tasty treat, you clearly haven't had my wife's grandmother's kumquat jam. I have to admit that her mulberry jam is good too, but it lacks some of the tartness.

Unfortunately for Linaro and Bernhard, Android 5.0 "Jujube" is an evolutionary dead-end, and the effort to merge it into the Linaro codebase will go to waste. The focus for Android 6.0 was to put the poor green robot on a pastry-free diet so that we wouldn't have to continuously reinforce the foundation of the lawn in front of building 44.

For that, we went back to the roots of Android, and we restarted from Android 1.0 exactly as it got Open-Sourced in October 2008. We then applied all our engineering efforts to optimizing Android so that it would use fewer resources. The good news is that we now have Android running perfectly on a Nokia 3210, which will greatly increase the number of Android users. We will introduce new constants in the SDK that will allow developers to specifically tailor their applications for that new category of devices, which shouldn't take more than 30 seconds.

Unfortunately, the engineering team went too far in optimizing Android, and they shrank it so much that Android 6.0 comes with maximum system requirements. Right now, Android 6.0 barely works on the original Motorola RAZR, as the 0.038 megapixel on the main screen and the 0.048 Mbps of blazing GPRS bandwidth are proving to be quite a challenge to handle.

I intend to release the source code of Android 6.0 into the Android Open-Source Project at the first opportunity. Part of the effort to make Android smaller involved compressing the source code repeatedly with gzip, bzip2 and rar, again and again, until it shrank to a single bit. Unfortunately, nobody knows for sure whether that bit is zero or one. As soon as I find out, I'll post that bit in the Android Open-Source Project, as well as the script necessary to uncompress that bit.

Looking at the future, Android 7.0 "LemonFlavoredMeringue" is designed to run in car entertainment systems, with minimum system requirements of 8 cylinders and 500 SAE RWHP, and Android 8.0 "MeringueFlavoredWithLemon" will run on alarm clocks, with Android 8.1 adding support for grandfather clocks and 8.2 for church towers.

Active users of Nokia 3210 phones can expect to receive the OTA of Android 6.0 within the next 5 to 10 years, depending on operator approval.

(h/t +Zach Pfeffer)

Note: similarities with real-life events are mostly coincidental. This post doesn't represent the opinions of Google, of Tiger Woods, or of JBQ.
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39 comments
 
i was tearing with laughter by the time the source was zipped to one bit
 
Those are some high tech computer systems the ARM Landing Team is showing. lol. I think my 4 yr old has a better system. :O
 
This is hilarious. I've been waiting for Android on Big Ben.
 
Sincerely hoping for Android 7.0 in my car entertainment system soon!
 
I thought 6.0 was for cars and 7.0 was for printers?
 
+Randy Dyck - Ah, actually, that was the plan 3 days ago, which leaked because one of the suppliers of a car manufacturer was so excited that they couldn't keep a secret, but the current plan is different. This plan is final with 100% certainty, until at least next Tuesday when everything is likely to change again.
 
well we are thankful for your time machine then...lol we will be in a perpetual 3 day loop then...hehe
 
What's the plan for my Nokia 6590i?
 
I hope when Android version names get up to "S", they choose the popular dessert from England called "Spotted Dick" :)
 
I'm looking forward to Android 13.0 (code name rocky road) and the abolition of the American superstitious culture ;-)
 
Your post implies we've been a bit sloppy - but that's absolutely not the case. Before making the decision to ship a 5.0.0 build, we certainly looked at the other releases available to the space-time modifying version of git.

Granted, the decision to ship a 5.0 based build over a 6.0 based build was mostly enforced by our marketing people ("You can't be serious, you didn't make any 3.x based releases and now you want to skip 5.x? What will that make us look like? We aren't a bunch of Oddnumberphobics!"), and not going for a 7.0 based build was enforced by senior management ("Did you just say we need to buy every developer a 8 cylinder 500 SAE RWHP car so you can run test builds? No way, that sort of privilege is reserved for senior management people like myself! Get out!!! Now!!!").

Our development team considered 8.0 or 8.1 for a while, but that choice too was shot down: currently no major vendor of alarm clocks and grandfather clocks is a Linaro member, so we couldn't afford to alienate our existing members by pushing competitors' hardware.

Not going for 8.2 was a unanimous decision in our development team: We believe in freedom of religion, so we're going to boycott this release until it provides equality by also supporting minarets, synagogues, and buddhist and hinduist temples.

Not going for 9.0 or higher was again a unanimous decision in our development team. The direction the 9.0 ("NougatBarWithKetchup") is simply unacceptable. What were you guys thinking??? Replacing the underlying Linux kernel with the Windows Mobile 10 kernel just because the FSF made a friendly request to call it GNU/Android?

Clearly, 5.0.0 was the best revision to pick, and we stand by our choice.
 
Despite the implication about our sloppiness, I'm curious about your compression results. We've tried the same thing for our 5.0 builds, but never got it down to 1 bit because of the headers added by the various compression programs. How did you overcome that problem? Are you cutting off the header and patching the decompressor to just regenerate missing headers on the fly?
Did you find a way to get around the various patents Microsoft has on the compression mechanism used by its infamous "DEL" command?
 
You have to note that we will definitely be Open-Sourcing 7.0 so that it can be ported to mopeds by the CyanogenMod maintainers, to the great despair of application maintainers who'll have mistakenly assumed that any version higher than 7.0 implies the presence of 4 wheels.

As for 8.2, the choice of picking church towers was based on a simple practical concern: our role at Google isn't to privilege any specific choice of implementation, but rather to push the envelope with a single implementation as a real-world example, and to provide the necessary foundation in the Android Open-Source Project to port Android to other form factors. The choice of focusing on church towers was based on a simple practical constraint: the only holy place within earshot of building 44 is a church (unless you count Shoreline Amphiteatre as a holy place), and the audio team insisted that they should be able to tune the audio parameters from their desks (which will be relocated on the roof for the duration of the development phase). As soon as we're done making sure that Android can work properly in one kind of religious establishment, we'll certainly release the matching source code to make sure that people can deploy it to many other kinds of religious establishments, from the most conservative to the most experimental.
 
+Bernhard Rosenkränzer - I can't possibly provide details about the way we recombine multiple fractional qubits into a single conventional bit, I'm afraid that's secret, and I might or might not have been clawed by Schrödinger's cat during development.
 
how i wish i hadn't thrown away my nokia 3210. :D
 
johna smithman you beautiful lovely girl
 
I hope I can change the background of apps window in the future.
 
arent you guys fooling us.I think since it was April first,you guys fooled us. I still cant believe that android 5.0 is up!
 
I heard it still in beta test but they're working in it.
 
I would be nice to see the "MeringueFlavoredWithLemon" branch abbreviated as "Mmm"
 
what are the system requirements to get this source.Well after repo sync,I am left with "code" and "Makefile" folders. Let me know how can I get complete source.
 
And do not forget to build Code 66 this time !!!
 
Aaaahhhyyyeeeaaahhh.... finally my 3210 comes in the flavour of android... ;)
 
Still waiting patiently for Android to be supported on my old Motorola Razr V3. I mean, come on, Jack Bauer had one. How cool does a phone have to be? I never loved a phone like that one (case was dropped, nothing was proven). I long to play Angry Birds on it's 320x240 display. I'd even accept Cupcake if it would run. Please make it priority number one. I promise to use it for more than 5 minutes.
Dave D
 
so when will this ota be ready for droid razr?
 
Grandfather clocks are all well and good, but what about coffee tables and book shelves? Or would a port be more feasible? 
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