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Jason Kowing
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Jason Kowing

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Extreme closeup is extreme.
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That's one way to do it :-)
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Raspberry Beret
...and if it was warm, she wouldn't wear it much more!

Today is +paula contreras and +Barbara Gray's birthday! Happy birthday you two! Woohooo!
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My Weekend Quiet Time...
a story for bedtime
This was an old blog post of mine that I wrote in 2007. I have been going through the old files and decided this one was worth keeping. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did experiencing it!
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This past weekend has been very quiet. Peaceful. Relaxing. Unlike last year around this time, when my wife and I got gussied up in our overalls and beer hats and attended the Monster Truck Rally at the State Fair! Yes, faithful readers and lovers of redneck etiquette, last year your hero, your friend, your redneck nerd whom you rely on for your daily pick me up and news that actually matters, kicked it on his Walmart bleacher cushion while watching monster trucks toss some serious dirt up!

[File tape of the incident: "AAAAAUGH! RRRRRMMMMM! RRRRMMM! CRUNCH-CRASH-SHATTER-BLBLBLBLBLBLB-RRRRRRMMMM! AAAAUGH!"]

Ah, I sit here now in my quiet study and puff on my pipe in thought, thinking back to last year, on that fateful Saturday night when my life was forever changed by the crunching of metal cars and the smell of burning brake fluid and oil. I sip of my brandy and put my feet up on my mahogany desk and dream of the raw, primal emotion deep inside, at that which awakens the redneck in all of us when I see something so powerful, with all those pipes and shock absorbers and chrome and bumperguards and sponsor decals.

I remember that my wife leapt up and shieked every time her favorite truck, "The Flatulator" ripped its way up to the line of junk cars and honored us by belching gaseous flame that smelt of brimstone and upset stomach bleedoff, then launched high into the air like a wild animal over a fence! Her throat was sore for a couple of days afterwards, but it was worth it! I think the driver of The Flatulator gave her a special wave for her adoration and honked his horn... which sounded oddly like the noise I make after a good bowl of Hormel Chili and a mason jar of Metamucil.

Fast forward to this year (2007)! Just this past weekend, my wife and I along with her Dad and Step Monster took our daughter and her slightly older cousins to the State Fair to ride on some of the cute li'l kid rides. Kiddo the Elder was juuuust barely tall enough for the 42" rides and so she begged to ride The Whipabout. That's the one that had the swings attached to a disk that spins so when in full bore, it flings the rider out sideways like a convict flicking his used cigarette butt out on the sidewalk. I got sick just looking at it (I don't handle rides well) but she begged for a second time around. And being smoothly operated, I let her. Three more tickets please, Mr. Kowing.

We had Jumbo Pizza and Barbeque Tri-tip Sandwiches and guzzled giant Cokes like cars drink today’s expensive gasoline. I tried to win my hunny a giant MTV plush logo that was really schnazzy looking and brilliant. It was red and white and would look perfect in our Coca-Cola styled kitchen.

Unfortunately, it was at the ring-toss game and it's a little known fact that I SUCK AT RING-TOSS. 40 rings for $2. That's a bargain, right? Maybe for some. I'm about as good at ring-toss as I am at the ol' prize claw at Walmart. But I had to be manly for my wife. After all, she was counting on me to win her a giant MTV logo with the fonky designs and fuzzy front.

I gave the first ring a li'l toss like a good boy, but it "dinged" off the glass Coke bottle and bounced away. I pursed my lips in thought and tried the second, third, tenth ring. By now, I'm starting to sweat. My wife is standing nearby, her eyes on a tall buff dude with blond hair, making every other ring fall onto the Coke bottles and casually tossing the big fuzzy MTV logos and teddy bears and giant frogs he won into a shopping cart behind him.

That's it. I start to aim carefully. Eleventh ring. Twelvth. Thirteenth. Dammit! Twentieth! That's half my rings. I got pissed off and started chucking them, and instead of bouncing away cutely, they ricocheted like bullets and pelted other patrons. I got to thirty rings and stopped, huffing angrily and looked over at the blond buff dude there, winning koala bears and giant turtles with oversized toes and Bart Simpsons dolls for his cute li'l girlfriend who had come back with a Costco sized flat-bed cart to carry them all away. And I couldn't explain what happened next. My anger just made me see red.

I looked at my rings, then at the Coke bottles, then at my beautiful wife who was looking at the blond buff dude. And I just bellowed a war cry...

…and the whole fair stopped.

The Ferris wheel halted in mid-turn, the games and plastic horse races silenced, and all there was, was me throwing the entire basket of remaining rings at the line of Coke bottles. One of the rings caught on the top of a bottle, which would have won me an MTV logo, but by then I had leaped the counter and started kicking all the bottles over, hollering at the top of my lungs. One of the workers there, whom one of my remaining rings caromed from a bottle and pegged him in the eye, decked me from behind. I recoiled and shoved him into the blond buff dude, who was still cheerfully winning goldfish and cows with stupid looks on their faces.

The blond buff dude in turn broke a nail and squealed, and his girlfriend got angry and punched a passerby for no reason. The passerby got pissed off and decked a mounted police officer's horse in the jaw. The police officer called in the S.W.A.T teams and riot police.

You might have seen the footage on the Six O'Clock News, and if you had, you'd have seen several police carrying out a red-headed, red-bearded maniac from the State Fairgrounds hollering, "I WANT MY MTV! I WANT MY [bleeping] MTV!"

~Jas...
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yes and thank you.
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Another Movie Review!
Jurassic World
Verdict: ✫ ✫ ✫ ✫

In Jurassic Park, people and bratty kids were dropped on an island, learned about genetics bringing extinct species back, and were chased by dinosaurs.

In Jurassic Park 2, people and one bratty kid were dropped on an island, chased dinosaurs, and dinosaurs were dropped in San Diego.

In Jurassic Park 3, people were dropped on an island looking for a bratty kid and chased by dinosaurs.

Now, in Jurassic World, people with their bratty kids visit an island, spend lots of money on souvenirs, learn about genetics bringing extinct species back and get chased by dinosaurs.

The circle is complete.

See the rest of my review on Movie Madness Podcast right here! ~>http://www.moviemadnesspodcast.com/2015/06/20/jurassic-world-best-sequel-of-them-all/
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The Spinosaur was the one dino in all four movies that freaked me the hell out, +Nathan Shuyler, good call! I loved that monster! Too bad they didn't show it here, indeed.
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Shout out to +kat Folland for bringing over coffee while visiting my wife. Awesome! Woohooo!
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ah well, yes, if you have a whole bunch of people you want to keep in touch with and that's where they've gone...
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In Jack London Square, in Oakland, California on Monday, March 23, 2015... the breeze was blowing south/southeast.

Just thought you should know.
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wow, palm trees...
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The Toast

For as long as I can remember, I have revered the dynamic between a groom and his best man; the years of friendship, always being there and always having the other's back, culminated and defined in a single moment as one stands by the other's side watching him marry the woman of his dreams. And in that one moment after the best man's toast when everyone had their glasses raised and the subtle murmurs of friends and family resumed across the table, the groom and best man regard each other and say it without words one more time... "Thanks for always being there and I've always got your back."
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I very much agree +Zahra Fotovat. =)
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Verdict: ☆ 1/2 _ _ _ _

Dracula rebooted! Why not. Everything else has been. Fear and horror surround history’s creepiest badass for centuries, spawning legends, stories and nightmares throughout all lands. But forget about all that! This is the Vlad you never knew, the Wallacian ruler we get to know from his wife and only son’s point of view. Who better than Luke Evans (Clash of the Titans, The Hobbit) to play that really good guy we know nothing about? Evans has that handsome face you can approach, the dashing next door neighbor with the Volvo and the Harley in the same garage. Here he looks like he just walked off the set of The Hobbit and was given the script for Dracula five minutes before the director yelled “…aaaand action!”

Wait. No makeup? What about hair? He looks like he just walked out of Lake Town and into Wallachia. That’s okay, no worries. One thing that sets Dracula apart from The Hobbit is the fact that there are no battle scenes. Oh, there are armies! Don't get me wrong. The Turks attack Castle Dracula relentlessly. It’s just that Vlad has no army at all except for a few tough guys around him who stare solemnly at everything and hardly lift a sword.

Which is why Vlad decides to visit the creepy creature in a mountain nearby. Legend has it no one comes out of the creature’s cave alive. And that includes Turks, who have been seen entering the cave and not coming out. That’s good enough for Vlad! If it kills Turks, maybe he can figure out a way to use the creature. Unfortunately his plans go awry when the creature decides to use him! Bitten and becoming the Drac we all know and love to hate, Vlad then decimates the entire Turk army himself. It’s not even a contest.

Remember the scene in The Matrix Reloaded when Neo battled an army of Smiths? Yeah. Except it’s Vlad and an army of Turks. That scene alone almost made the price of a rental worth it. All in all though, the movie was pretty hum drum. This is the problem with having such cheap and readily available CGI. Instead of telling a story using CGI as a tool, CGI uses the story to advertise CGI. This movie is so chalk full of CGI from green screens to zillions of bats, it’s completely unrealistic. And no amount of CGI will help make a story deeper than it already is. The story in this CGI pool is desperately shallow, not much more than a wading pool. Sure, it’ll cool you off on a hot day, but you don’t get much exercise out of it.

Oh! Be sure to see the end of the review on Movie Madness for a final thought I couldn't post here!

#JasonsMovieReviews  
#DraculaUntold  
Verdict: ☆ 1/2 _ _ _ _. Dracula rebooted! Why not. Everything else has been. Fear and horror surround history's creepiest badass for centuries, spawning legends, stories and nightmares throughout all lands. But forget about all that! This is the Vlad you never knew, the Wallacian ruler we get ...
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I review 'em so you don't have to watch 'em +Nathan Shuyler!
+Evelyn Christy haha! I'm so sorry.
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Work
Occupation
Printer technician, amateur photographer and ancient soul, at your service!
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Writer of fiction and haiku
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  • Photographer
    present
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I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
Introduction
Formerly a Navy submariner, ghosthunter and adventurer. Currently a practitioner of thought, experiencer of every moment, amateur photographer and avid Google+ surfer. Everything I publish as photographic or written is under the protection of Copyright (C) Jason Kowing
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Birthday
November 15
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Married
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Distant Timbers Echo