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Jason Kamphaugh
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Jason Kamphaugh

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"If you can take your female character out and replace her with a sexy lamp and your plot still functions, then [expletive] you."

- Kelly Sue DeConnick's Sexy Lamp Test
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Part of the problem with living here is that no one I'm in daily contact with appreciates my fantastic Pastor Harvey Jackson impersonation.
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Well, that's too bad. I had liked these pants.
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Jeremy Seifert's profile photoJason Kamphaugh's profile photo
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"Guys! I think Jeremy is taking 'Business Casual' a bit too far. Time for an intervention!"
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Q: What kind of food is most likely to become a pastor?

A: Really, it would be anything perishable.
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Imagine that there's a college student who's taking a class. He does the math and realizes that he needs to get an A on the final, or he has to redo his whole semester (slight bit of a stretch, but stay with me).

He studies like crazy. Prepares like never before. However, he decides that the grade is important enough to him that he has to guarantee that he gets that A.

So he makes a crib sheet.

The day of the test arrives. He starts going through the test, and it's a breeze. The teacher picked all of the easiest material from the semester. There's one question that he's not sure about, so he uses the crib sheet for that one. Can't be to careful, right?

He breathes a sigh of relief as he heads out the door. Pulls his phone out of his pocket...

...and the crib sheet falls to the floor right in front of the teacher.

Now, also imagine that this student has previously been caught looking over the shoulder of a classmate during a test a previous semester.

How much sympathy should the rest of his classmates have for him? How much mercy should the teacher extend to him?

Now imagine this student is actually the New England Patriots.
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Jason Kamphaugh

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"...and we walked over an open field."
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Because of the parenting skills of my generation, I need to prepare for the likelihood that my kids will date someone with a ludicrous name.
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Have him in circles
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Me: I'm heading to take a shower.
Isaac: 'kay. Good luck!
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Jason Kamphaugh

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I think they're missing some wording in this statistic:

"Did you realize that one in three women die of heart disease and stroke each year?"
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Be happy liking the stuff that you like. 

Be understanding when someone doesn't like what you like.

Be polite when someone likes something that you don't like.
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Meet my 5 kids! And watch LLS tonight with @Jeanniegaffigan @sarahksilverman @Kumailn and more!

http://www.whosay.com/l/Quza2w7
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Jason Kamphaugh

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Somewhere between Christmas and New Year, I seem to have lost the ability to shave my upper lip correctly. If you find it, contact me here.
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Have him in circles
102 people
Jeremy Fugleberg's profile photo
Steve Duffy's profile photo
Joshua Skogerboe's profile photo
Drew Petersen's profile photo
NickandJill Miller's profile photo
Andy Stern's profile photo
Victoria Matheson's profile photo
Melissa Majorins's profile photo
Jason Gudim's profile photo
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