My Husband Thinks He is a Buddhist
I could feel it in the air around us. I could almost smell it and see it. I wasn't sure exactly what was coming, but I know the feeling all too well.
You see, my husband is an addict. He has the most addictive personality I have ever seen. Now, don't get me wrong. Being an addict is not all bad. Sure, it ruins lives, or at the very least, it causes challenges that non addicts never experience. If you know an addict, you know that you have no power over their addiction. They hold all the power. My husband, for example, is completely in control of his addictions. He is totally aware of them all. When anyone mentions it, he just laughs and nods his head.
People like my husband are wired differently. They have an extra chromosome that 'normal' people do not have. I call it the 'all or nothing' gene. I do not have it. If you know someone that makes a decision one day to do something, and they will stop at nothing until they do it, you know what I am talking about. My husband has a history of addiction that started with his addiction to quitting. He quit smoking. He quit eating meat. He quit sleeping late. He quit drinking sodas. He quit being lazy. He quit staying up half the night. Once he mastered 'quitting' something, his addiction to 'becoming' started.
When he decides to do something, anything at all, he does it all the way without fail. If he wants to lose weight, he goes on a diet and he does not cheat. Not even once. When he stopped cigarettes, he started smoking pipes. He studied pipes, studied tobacco, studied the history of it, and then he decides he is a PIPE SMOKER so he buys every pipe that has a good review or a really good advertisement is sometimes enough. He may not love smoking pipes, but he loves collecting them. Until he decided that he was going to be a CIGAR SMOKER. He stops with the pipes. He studies, reads, learns and buys some of the best cigars he can find (afford) until he finally admits to himself that cigars are out.
Exercise is next and he becomes a BICYCLE RIDER. After study, research and the purchase of a few bikes, he knows everything about riding. He seeks all terrain bike trails and attaches every gadget possible to make the ride as cool and as safe as any bike rider could ask. After the glow of sweat and dirt begins to look like a second skin, and the adventure gets old, it is time to move onto a simpler form of movement. My RUNNER husband now spends months getting one pair of shoes after another in his quest for the perfect shoe. You know, a shoe that feels almost like you're not even running. Yes, the perfect shoe. Does it really exist?
Let's see. Right about now he is slipping his toes into a rubber soled sock because the barefoot shoe finally proved that there is a reason why someone started wrapping their feet in the first place. So, now my soulmate is an almost BAREFOOT RUNNER thanks to some study that one guy did on a tribe in Africa that can run further and longer than any other people on the planet. If it works for the Tribal Chieftain, I guess it can't be all bad now, can it?
But, I digress. After all, these are but a few of the passions my husband has felt drawn to over the years. These are just a few that spurned his addiction prone heart into action. There are addictions and there are addictions. My husband does not believe in putting anything off until later. When he sets his mind to something, he is fully committed from the first second out of the gate. That is a strength of mind that is powerful beyond belief. Think about it like this: he doesn't think he is because he knows he is whatever he wants to be and he can be anything he wants.
Of course he has made the quest for enlightenment and spiritual growth top priority. A few years ago, my husband chose a spirit-filled church that he could study the Bible with scholars and spend time with preachers of the word. The 152 Bibles on the shelves of my study attest to his diligent research and zest for connecting with God. On those shelves you will find ESL The Message, King James and even newly released versions written by pop stars, poets and scholars of our time. He studies and prays and discusses scripture with all who so desire. Attending different types of churches; Pentecost, black, Baptist, Methodist, we attended them all. He plays in the Methodist church band, still sings hymn after hymn and he is steadfast, year after year after year.
Now, several months ago, he tells me one normal day over breakfast, that the Bible has wonderful truths in it, but evolution and timelines have lead him to question whether God is the one true power. After all his study, and with 152 Bibles on the shelves, he is no closer to God.
Yes, my husband thinks he is a Buddhist. I don't see any foreseeable problems with my BUDDHIST HUSBAND except that he doesn't believe in reincarnation, not even a little. So begins his search for just the right temple.
Janet Elliott Brown