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Janet Brown
Works at www.bestforlessmattresscompany.com
Attended Sam Houston High School
Lives in DFW TX
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Janet Brown

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My Husband Thinks He is a Buddhist

I could feel it in the air around us. I could almost smell it and see it. I wasn't sure exactly what was coming, but I know the feeling all too well.

You see, my husband is an addict. He has the most addictive personality I have ever seen. Now, don't get me wrong. Being an addict is not all bad. Sure, it ruins lives, or at the very least, it causes challenges that non addicts never experience. If you know an addict, you know that you have no power over their addiction. They hold all the power. My husband, for example, is completely in control of his addictions. He is totally aware of them all. When anyone mentions it, he just laughs and nods his head.

People like my husband are wired differently. They have an extra chromosome that 'normal' people do not have. I call it the 'all or nothing' gene. I do not have it. If you know someone that makes a decision one day to do something, and they will stop at nothing until they do it, you know what I am talking about. My husband has a history of addiction that started with his addiction to quitting. He quit smoking. He quit eating meat. He quit sleeping late. He quit drinking sodas. He quit being lazy. He quit staying up half the night. Once he mastered 'quitting' something, his addiction to 'becoming' started.

When he decides to do something, anything at all, he does it all the way without fail. If he wants to lose weight, he goes on a diet and he does not cheat. Not even once. When he stopped cigarettes, he started smoking pipes. He studied pipes, studied tobacco, studied the history of it, and then he decides he is a PIPE SMOKER so he buys every pipe that has a good review or a really good advertisement is sometimes enough. He may not love smoking pipes, but he loves collecting them. Until he decided that he was going to be a  CIGAR SMOKER. He stops with the pipes. He studies, reads, learns and buys some of the best cigars he can find (afford) until he finally admits to himself that cigars are out. 

Exercise is next and he becomes a BICYCLE RIDER. After study, research and the purchase of a few bikes, he knows everything about riding. He seeks all terrain bike trails and attaches every gadget possible to make the ride as cool and as safe as any bike rider could ask. After the glow of sweat and dirt begins to look like a second skin, and the adventure gets old, it is time to move onto a simpler form of movement. My RUNNER husband now spends months getting one pair of shoes after another in his quest for the perfect shoe. You know, a shoe that feels almost like you're not even running. Yes, the perfect shoe. Does it really exist?

Let's see. Right about now he is slipping his toes into a rubber soled sock because the barefoot shoe finally proved that there is a reason why someone started wrapping their feet in the first place. So, now my soulmate is an almost BAREFOOT RUNNER thanks to some study that one guy did on a tribe in Africa that can run further and longer than any other people on the planet. If it works for the Tribal Chieftain, I guess it can't be all bad now, can it?

But, I digress. After all, these are but a few of the passions my husband has felt drawn to over the years. These are just a few that spurned his addiction prone heart into action. There are addictions and there are addictions. My husband does not believe in putting anything off until later. When he sets his mind to something, he is fully committed from the first second out of the gate. That is a strength of mind that is powerful beyond belief. Think about it like this: he doesn't think he is because he knows he is whatever he wants to be and he can be anything he wants.

Of course he has made the quest for enlightenment and spiritual growth top priority. A few years ago, my husband chose a spirit-filled church that he could study the Bible with scholars and spend time with preachers of the word. The 152 Bibles on the shelves of my study attest to his diligent research and zest for connecting with God. On those shelves you will find ESL The Message, King James and even newly released versions written by pop stars, poets and scholars of our time. He studies and prays and discusses scripture with all who so desire. Attending different types of churches; Pentecost, black, Baptist, Methodist, we attended them all. He plays in the Methodist church band, still sings hymn after hymn and he is steadfast, year after year after year. 

Now, several months ago, he tells me one normal day over breakfast, that the Bible has wonderful truths in it, but evolution and timelines have lead him to question whether God is the one true power. After all his study, and with 152 Bibles on the shelves, he is no closer to God.

Yes, my husband thinks he is a Buddhist.  I don't see any foreseeable problems with my BUDDHIST HUSBAND except that he doesn't believe in reincarnation, not even a little. So begins his search for just the right temple.

Janet Elliott Brown
September 2015
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THE COLOR RED

Through the window of tomorrow, one cannot see today...only yesterday is clear and it is color faded and pale moonlight.
It is yellowed leaves and falling dust gently swirling as if dancing in the heated breath of night.

Where does all the sorrow hide until it slowly rises up? It is always there but it's hidden in the light.
Dressed in camouflage, hidden in the smoke screens, wrapped in shadows of the darkest night.

No quiet place in this world of constant interruptions, too well one learns the lessons only despair can teach.
Just a lifetime of used-to-be's, and might-have-been's though the dreams are still there just beyond one's reach.

Morbid is the mind of one who's left undone; alone and confused. Torn from the light and cast, 
back and forth until no bearing will bring them round, nor pull them up or hold them fast.

Ah...long ago the brilliance of the truth hurt the eyes; now it is muted because we got too close.
To see what was, we must understand what is, before we face the other ghosts.

Rarely left alone, endless demands for ears and eyes. No comfort is found in words so easily thrown,
until one day it does come to light, yielding so gracefully as the sterile seeds of time are sewn. 

'What-might-have-been' destroys the sweet innocence of hope; which soon goes down in ashes. 
Soundless, the night wraps the day in the darkest haze, and there underneath the stars all hope dashes.

I take no comfort in the truth because it makes the rest a lie. A lie that draws the color red,
but upon a closer look there is no color left to see, only falling tears and words left unsaid.

It is the truth that sets us free. But the truth grows cold as the chill first finds its way inside.
Waking then to only silence, wandering round only to feel the truth of love denied.

The emptiness of words unspoken, lie in silence, like the mouths of open graves so dark and still.
Who knows what drifts upon the winds that blow or what may lie over the next hill.

There was once comfort in the new exchange of feelings and in those first tender words.
Yes, it would be so pretty, but for the loss that rides on the backs of wingless birds.

The one you knew is no longer here. They have changed, merely from the rubbing off of you.
The heart lies beyond the reach of clenching hands now grown weak from trying to hold on to you.

Nothing more can one heart take...before the lonely heart does break.

No, nothing more can one heart take ...before the lonely heart does break.

No, nothing more can my heart take....before this lonely heart does break.

JANET BROWN 12/2013
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There is a lesson to learn from every card in a deck of tarot.
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I love my hippie van
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Remember these sturdy Broyhill bookcases I got on Craigslist for our schoolroom? Well, they were hiding a little secret.... While the front and the drawers were made out of real wood, the sides, shelves and backs were made o...
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Cool
 
This is just mind-numbingly awesome. #anigif #art #impressive  
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In her circles
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Share five inspirational Quotes of the Day with friends on Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. Enjoy our Brainy, Funny, Love, Art and Nature quotes.
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There are a ton of celebrity preachers and televangelist today. I have been one to be critical of many of them at different times in my life. As I have gotten older, my approach to passing judgemen...
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John, I will send the lyrics tomorrow. 

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For those folks that enjoy poetry and prose... 
From the darkest place, the smallest light can hurt the eyes.
Through the window of tomorrow, one cannot see today...only yesterday is clear and it is gone. It is color faded and pale moonlight. It is yellowed leaves and falling dust swirling in the heated breath of night. Where does al...
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People
In her circles
153 people
Have her in circles
128 people
Joe Harris's profile photo
Joseph Karlicek's profile photo
Jerry Amalfitano's profile photo
Lauri Bell's profile photo
Mahmoud Yassin Marhoom's profile photo
Randall G. Barnes's profile photo
Toby Brotherton's profile photo
Doshia Brown's profile photo
Janet Brown's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Dreamer, Poet, Artist & Business Professional
Employment
  • www.bestforlessmattresscompany.com
    Owner, 2013 - present
  • Brown Productions
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
DFW TX
Previously
Arlington, Texas - Grand Rapids, MI - Denver, CO - Austin, TX - Gunnison, CO - Tejaras, NM
Story
Tagline
Never did fit in someone else's box
Introduction
Savor every minute of every day and remember that the journey is the reward!
Bragging rights
I will follow my dreams
Education
  • Sam Houston High School
  • Brantley-Draughon Business Colleg
Basic Information
Gender
Female
Apps with Google+ Sign-in
  • Angry Birds Under Pigstruction
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