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James Olchak
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A Nebraska elementary school just sent home a pamphlet describing some Rules regarding the appropriate way for a bullied child to respond to bullying. Here's the article:

http://jezebel.com/nebraska-school-gives-most-idiotic-advice-ever-to-deal-1564016234

The article has a link to the first few, which include the time-honored anti-bullying techniques like not defending yourself (verbally or physically), not telling adults about the bullying, and best of all, agreeing when a bully attacks you.

Naturally, everyone reading this is silently nodding their heads in agreement. Surely there can be no better way to grow up well adjusted than to silently and gratefully swallow whatever abuse (emotional or physical) is heaped upon you, secure in the knowledge that no one can help you, or in fact cares enough about your situation to even feign interest to your problems.

For those people, I've found the Rules on the pamphlet not mentioned in the article. This way, parents at home can make a complete list, and maybe post it on the fridge at home, or suggest it to your children's Sunday School teacher.

Rule 10: Consider offering your pocket change or valuable belongings to a bully.  If you give him valuable possessions, he may consider no longer bullying you.

Rule 11: If the bullying gets too difficult to handle, consider doing yourself harm.  A bully may have sympathy for you if you're hurt or disfigured.

Rule 12: If you see another child being bullied, remember to always side with the bully. Bullies enjoy "showing off." An appreciative audience is an un-bullied audience.

Rule 13: If you're being bullied, consider not acting like such a little pussy. Bullies only pick on those who are inherently less valuable to society.

Rule 14: Remember, you may have to deal with your bully all throughout your life, so you may as well get used to it now.

Rule 15: Keep bullying secret, regardless of the source.  Think of yourself like a spy, or superhero.  When James Bond or Spider-Man get beat up or called nasty names, do they complain? Of course not. Treat being bullied like a secret identity, keep it secret, so others aren't troubled with it.

Good luck, next generation. Your caretakers have already given the fuck up on you.

#bullying   
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Wow. Double wow after reading the second link. Appalling. :{
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Ooh, ooh, another rapture is coming?  I really enjoyed the last few.

Like the one Warren Jeffs (convicted child-molesting head of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints) predicted for late December, 2012?  That was a blast.

And just before that, there was the Mayan thing.

And before that, in June of 2012, was Growing In Grace International Ministry, Inc's prediction of the Rapture.  That one was good.

Then, before that, in May 2012, was when Church of God, Preparing for the Kingdom of God made their call.  A bit Lackluster.  Who holds a second coming in May?

Before that, of course, was Christian broadcaster Harold Camping's sixth Rapture that of course, happened as predicted on October 21, 2011.  Which of course did little to make us forget when the Rapture, as he predicted, also occurred on May 2, 2011.  And of course there was also those Raptures that Camping predicted in 1994 and 1995, which also ended the world in glory, as predicted.

In between Campings latest two Raptures, of course, the Earth suffered another thunderous second Coming as predicted by Church of God, Preparing for the Kingdom of God, predating their follow-up Rapture by a little less than a year.

How did Jesus get anything else done with all these Raptures he had to attend in 2012 and 2011?

Of course, 2010 was hardly better, as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (correctly) predicted the world would end in 2010.  Jesus was a no show for this one, but oh the blood and the screaming.

Back in 2007, our old, warning-of-the-HIV-needle-ring-gay-gangs-of San Francisco-uncle, Pat Robertson (correctly, of course) predicted Jesus' return in trumpet-filled glory. I remember that.  Easily the best second coming of the decade.

Of course, 2008 was also when Texas' own "House of Yahweh" predicted their most recent end of humanity, to follow up all those other nuclear holocausts that happened, as predicted by them, twice in 2007, 2006, and even back in 1999.  It seems like humanity wouldn't be able to rebound quite as quickly as we have, after five nuclear holocausts in a single decade, (leaving out the nuclear war predicted by sarin-gas wielding terrorist church Aum Shinrikyo in 2003) but humanity is certainly tenacious.

"Mother" Tynetta Muhammad, of the Nation of Islam also correctly predicted the end of the world (why leave that lucrative business only to the Christian wackos?) occurring in 2001.  I remember thinking 9/11 would be the worst thing to occur that year, but then BOOM end of the world.  Really snuck up on us, that one.

So many people successfully predicted when the Rapture occurred in 2000 that it's hard to pick out my favorites.  Maybe 2000 was too easy a prediction, but "Christian Psychic" Edger Cayce, his disciple Ruth Montgomery; TV evangelist gasbag Jerry Falwell; Christian authors Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins; Mormon splinter-sect leader James Harmston; and cult-leader Sun Myung Moon were among the divinely-touched who saw fit to warn us secular fools of the devastation we all suffered through that year, when Jesus finally returned in wrath for the first time.

Well, the first time since 1999, when Sufi Sheik Nazim Al-Haqqani, Christ for the Nations Institute founder James Gordon Lindsay, Kabbalah head Philip Berg, Ed Wood mainstay Amazing Criswell, Yale President Timothy Dwight IV, and UFO cult leader Hon Ming Chen all successfully predicted a series of Raptures, nuclear wars and second comings, all of which really made 1999 an tribulation-filled year for those of us who survived! I'm sure you remember where you were during that year of many, many second comings.

Of course, 1998 was no picnic, when UFO cult leader Hon-Ming Chen predicted, a mere year before his next correct "end-times" prediction.  As you may remember, God chose to appear on channel 18 of every TV set in America, descending from a UFO, and (perhaps coincidentally) looked exactly like Hon-Ming Chen himself.  That was wild, but at least it was the only time the world ended that year!

Of course it was in 1997,when Marshall Applewhite, leader of the Heaven's Gate cult, successfully escaped the destruction of earth with his 38 disciples aboard the celestial spaceship hiding in the tail of comet Halle-Bopp.  Boy, were our faces red when earth was destroyed, and they were safely ensconced on the mothership!

We should have known, really, after Sheldan Nidle successfully warned us that a host of angels and a fleet of spaceships would end the earth in December of 1996. Marshall Applewhite was surely lucky to live through the attack of all those unfriendly saucers in order to board the friendly one hiding in the tail of Halle Bopp.  But really we were all lucky to be alive after all that devastation.  I mean, Angels and Flying Saucers?  How could we have known, without the divine teachings of our most precious earthly commodity--people who seem to be mortal men, but actually bring us insight from higher powers.  Thank goodness there are so many and they're all so beneficent.

Of course that time the world ended in 1996 was nothing compared to the four Raptures we failed to see coming in 1994 and 1995, despite being warned by Harold Camping, who successfully predicted the Rapture again, of course, just a couple years ago. I wonder why Jesus hasn't called him home, with all of the Raptures he's been privy to.  Maybe he's hanging out to help us the next few times the Rapture comes.

1994 was also when Bahá'í heretic Neal Chase successfully predicted the nuclear attack on New York, which was of course, followed up 40 days later by the real, biblical Armageddon. For the first time!

Unless you count the previous time, one year earlier, in 1993, when "Children of God" leader David Berg successfully predicted Jesus' return. That one was special.

Not as special as the Rapture that occurred in 1992, though, successfully predicted by convicted racketeer and Cult leader Lee Jang Rim, of the Dami Mission church. That one was just before Halloween, which really helped everything seem super-spooky!

It was downright weird, one month earlier, when rainbow-wig-wearing football enthusiast (And originator of the sporting event practice of carrying "John 3:16" placards) Rollen Stewart successfully predicted Jesus' second coming. Rollen Stewart later went to prison for a series of kidnapping charges.  He's still in prison, but we can all remember when he really saved our butts in 1992 by predicting the very first Rapture humanity would encounter.

...except for that time in 1991 when Nation of Islam head Louis Farrakhan predicted (successfully, because he is a man of God who has a direct line to the almighty) that the Gulf War would ignite a "War of Armageddon." He was so right.  Why, I almost didn't graduate high school from all the stress of living through the real, literal end times.

Of course, I should have been used to it, in that the world also ended in 1990, 1989, twice in 1988, 1987, 1985, 1984, four times in 1982, 1981, 1980, twice in 1977, and 1975.

I was born in 1974, which means I was fortunate enough to miss the time Comet Kahoutek ended the world in 1973.

#Rapture    #Endtimes    #antichrist   #canwestopcoveringthisnonsenseasifitsnews
Pastor John Hagee is warning members of his megachurch to prepare for the end of the world because a "blood moon" eclipse on Tuesday is signaling that the End Times could be beginning.
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+David Baity you don't know how to use the 2 shells?
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"Jenny McCarthy is claiming she is not anti-vaccine.

Here’s the problem with that claim: Yes, she is."

(http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/04/13/jenny_mccarthy_responds_to_claims_she_s_not_antivax.html)

It's a bitch when you say things on record to a reporter, or write things down in a book that you then publish in your name and put your face on the cover, and then you're stuck having to pretend you didn't say, write or publish that shit later.  It must be hard.

It's not hard for the rest of us, though, because we have memories more acute than fucking amoebae, and we can remember shit from the last year, the last decade, heck, most of us can even remember into the last millennium.

"I do believe that there is a correlation between vaccinations and autism."

You can hear Dr. Playmate say that, at the 41 second mark in this video (http://tinyurl.com/nvu8vwy), where she blathers on about "toxins," and reveal all the medical knowledge she possesses from her training on the set of "Singled Out." When asked what she would do if she had another child, Dr. McCarthy had this to say: 

"I wouldn't vaccinate at all. Not at all."

That's at 3:48 in the video. She said it. She's on video. When she says she's not anti-vaccine, she's not just a bullshit peddler, she's a liar. She's a liar, and anyone with an internet connection can go all Sherlock Batman, finding evidence of her lies in seconds.

She also goes on to talk about how she treated her son's autism with a gluten free diet. Which is roughly analogous to treating a gunshot wound with color therapy (in that there is a similar amount of testable, verifiable, clinical data as to color therapy's effectiveness at stitching up gushing bullet wounds, that is, none: http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/gluten-free-casein-free-diets-for-autism). But what's the up side?

The upside is that in about ten years, Coachella, and Bonnaroo, and SXSW will be filled with the 17-and-18 year old children of the entitled shithead parents who took medical advice from a high-school educated professional nude model. And that will really, really be something.

#smallpoxinthehouse 
Jenny McCarthy is claiming she is not anti-vaccine. Here’s the problem with that claim: Yes, she is. That’s patently obvious due to essentially everything she’s been saying about vaccines for years. Yet in an op-ed in the Chicago Sun-Times on April 12, 2014, she tries to ignore all that, and...
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I am sick in general of the societal belief that firing a fleshy mass out of your vagina suddenly grants you omniscience.
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James Olchak

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Haha Lindelof.

#LINDELOF  
MEDFORD, OR—Local man Adam Gould, 24, who recently began watching ABC’s science fiction drama series Lost on DVD, is in for a whole world of disappointment, sources close to the unsuspecting schmuck confirmed Wednesday. [CLICK FOR FULL STORY AND VIDEO]
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Truth
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James Olchak

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The fallout from this should be interesting.

I have no insight on this. My instinct is always to believe the accuser, not because I have any particular ability to tell if someone is telling the truth (although I like to pretend I do), but because the numbers make it obvious that

(1) sexual assaults are under-reported, and those that commit them are

(2) under-prosecuted, and 

(3) under-convicted.

Studies are widely available and consistent in those results (http://tinyurl.com/okfg6du). So my first snap judgement is always that the accuser is telling the truth. But I understand that sometimes people lie. But here's what I do know.

When someone goes "This famous guy raped me when I was 17," the. Only. Defense. Is "I didn't do it." 

"I didn't do it, I wasn't there, there's no evidence linking me with this person or the unfortunate events that they went through. It wasn't me, and I'll be completely vindicated, because no one has any evidence to back up these accusations, because they aren't true."

That's it. That's the defense. "I didn't do it."

So, if Bryan Singer makes a public statement, and he deviates significantly from that script, watch out for R-Kelly style equivocations like "Well, I've had 17-year-old friends, before," and "Well, I've been to some wild parties," then you can reasonably start to suspect he's trying to create a bullshit defense narrative where maybe there's some evidence he was in the wrong place and someone opportunistic is taking advantage of his fame.

"I didn't do it.  I wasn't there. There's no evidence to support these claims, because they're untrue." That's all we want to hear.

So, lets address whether the accuser can be viewed as opportunistic for launching this lawsuit right before a big movie by this guy is premiering. Sure. If you were raped, are you required to wait until the most convenient time to ask for that wrong to be redressed by your attacker? Absolutely fucking not.

If the only way to ensure your legitimate lawsuit against an incredibly famous and wealthy celebrity was going to be treated seriously was to turn it into a media spectacle, you would be acting perfectly within reason to do so. 

Being famous is a formidable, everyday advantage in these matters, so is being rich, and so is having a network of powerful, connected friends. If you have a legitimate grievance against someone with all these advantages, you would be foolish to not do everything you can to offset those advantages.

So, I guess all we can do is wait and see how this unfolds.
X-Men: Days of Future Past director Bryan Singer was accused of repeatedly drugging, threatening and forcibly sodomizing a minor in a lawsuit filed Wednesday in federal court in Hawaii.
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Well, he would know better than me.

Snatches of these things burble up every so often. Travolta. Shirley Temple Black (she was 5 or something!)
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http://www.themarysue.com/noah-screenwriter-race/

"Why were there no non-whites in the cast?"

"Well, we didn't want to make race an issue, so we just made everyone regular-style."

"Regular-style?  You mean white?"

"Y'know, just plain people. Regular, everyman people. We decided we didn't need anyone sassy, or spicy, or exotic.  We just went with regular."

"...White isn't a default person style. You can cast people from different races in any kind of role."

"Well, like I said, we didn't want to make a Bennetton ad, we just wanted regular folks, everymen. I mean, it was a sort of mythic story, it needed a grounding in reality."

"So, 'reality' means 'white.'"

"Well, we didn't want race to be a thing."

"..."

#hollywoodpricks   #terriblethings   #racistsberacisming   #slightlyexaggerated   #coolitnow   #watchout  
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It has more to do with the look of all anime owing it's stylistic lexicon to the work of Osamu Tezuka, who in turn based his style of drawing on Snow White. Pre-Tezuka Japanese cartoons
(of which there are centuries worth) depict the Japanese as having Asian features. 
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James Olchak

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I talked about one of these about a year ago, and like I said then(http://tinyurl.com/pakndt4), I'm actually really good at determining what fictional character is best at fighting, so I figured I'd do this one, too.

There are more good choices than bad ones, on here, and unlike the other list, there are some pretty huge discrepancies in terms of power level. Since a lot of the conversations around these characters turn into extrapolations of who has kryptonite in what pocket of what utility belt, I'll try not to get bogged down in that thoroughly treaded ground, instead basing my decision on how many reasonable methods a character could use to take out the other characters. 

Basically, there might be a handful of reasonable ways that a story could be written in which Robin definitively wins a fight against Superman. There are an infinite number of ways in which the inverse is reasonable. Once you get a handle on that, you can kinda get through stuff like this without a lot of "Nuh Uh!" Trust me, I went to school for this.

So first up, Batman.  Batman isn't a good choice, as I noted in the previous entry, because the closer you are to him, the more likely he will be unable to save you. There are too many dead and paralyzed sidekicks on his record to consider him a good choice.  And since his milieu is punishing criminals, rather than preventing crime, that actually makes a lot of sense. Pictured: Batman punishing crime (http://tinyurl.com/pel5m9s)

Second, Green Lantern.  A good choice on paper, but there are too many unknowns here, not the least of which is which fucking one? And honestly, I love the concept of Green Lantern, I want that goofy power ring as much as any nerd, but none of them are any fucking good at what they do.  The most interesting one was only interesting because they realized every Green Lantern is a self-aggrandizing dick, so they made one that was the biggest self-aggrandizing dick of them all (http://tinyurl.com/nuyxrqh). The only one who had much of a conscience had a loved one killed off in such a grotesque fashion it named a misogynistic narrative trope: (http://tinyurl.com/ypnb25). Green Lantern, any Green Lantern, is a bad choice, all things considered. He'll come in bragging about how easy it is to fight Iron Man, and Wolverine will have you in ten pieces. 

Cap'n America is an okay choice, but only because he gives a shit. I'm pretty sure he'll work harder to save your life than most of the names on this list, and it literally doesn't matter who you are. His integrity and belief in the humanistic right to people not being murdered means that he will try his damnedest to keep you alive, even if you're a cyber-psionic giant monster baby with a head the size of a volkswagen beetle: (http://tinyurl.com/nvcrqpc)

Iron Man is a self-interested alcoholic narcissist. If you're a city where he owns property, or a pretty white girl, he might deign to waste his time keeping you from being killed. If you're a casual acquaintance, you're fucking boned (http://tinyurl.com/payu8uk). In this same issue, it was revealed that Obidiah Stane had kidnapped both Happy Hogan and Pepper Potts (without Tony even noticing, prior), and had time to wall them into a special tomb that would keep them alive until Stane needed to use them as pawns. It's pure dumb luck that Tony is able to free them from a lifetime in a sedative stupor--If Stane had wanted, he could have strapped them each to a cruise missile and sent them to opposite coasts. If Tony is protecting you, he might notice you exist after you get killed.

Like before, Wolverine is an okay choice, there are lots of stories where Wolverine is pursued to the frayed ends of sanity and beyond by unstoppably lethal enemies. He can be counted on to live long enough to try to save you. If you are literally a preteen girl (or perhaps a gynoid designed to resemble a preteen girl), your chances of living are pretty good.  There have been a bunch of those stories. If you're not careful, though, he might draw you into one of his fuckin' problems: (http://tinyurl.com/qhowqeh

Wonder Woman is a top-notch choice. She can punch it out with gods and Kryptonians, and she genuinely wants to help. She has compassion, even in the face of outright hostility.  A confrontation can begin like this: (http://tinyurl.com/oczvjso) and end like this: (http://tinyurl.com/py22gdy).  She can come away from a bad situation with a solution where everyone is happy. But if you're irredeemably evil, and intend to continue being evil,...(http://tinyurl.com/o3u4px6).

Robin? Who the fuck is picking Robin? If Robin is after you, just stay on the ground floor, and you are safe from Robin. (http://tinyurl.com/oyqf5yk).

The Flash can kill anyone else on this list twice before they can blink. It would be comedically easy. It is impossible to have a truly evil character as fast as the Flash is depicted as being not be a successful murderer of men. In addition to his physics-demolishing speed (and the speed of perception necessary to use it), he can pass through solid objects (and have solid objects pass through him). Anyone who thinks they can fight a murderous Flash will find their nervous system replaced with barbed wire, and their brain replaced with a handful of thumbtacks.  Even being a robot who can mimic the powers of the entire Justice League will not help you (http://tinyurl.com/nft3nkb), so I kinda think you have to pick the Flash off this list, simply because there's no one on this list who can stop him.

Superman is a good choice. While he's physically the most powerful on the list, his real advantage is his exceptional super-senses, which will enable him to detect threats from immense distances.  He could detect the smell of explosives nearby, or see a sniper hidden in a crater on the moon, or hear the scraping of Wolverine's Adamantium joints from across the city. He can do a hell of a lot with just his vision-based powers (http://tinyurl.com/nfgk3tz, and no, he didn't really lobotomize that guy, just gave him a heat-concussion). He's also really the only one who has a chance of not getting killed by the Flash. It's not a great chance, but it's still a chance. He's also one of the few on this list who genuinely, demonstrably care about others, and would put real effort into keeping you alive.  I can't help but think that Superman isn't great at gauging what credible threats are to non-superheroes, though. In that way, his incredible power approaches liability. 

Spider-Man was the one I felt was left off the other list, and like Captain America, he actually cares about people who aren't him. I think the example from the other thread is the right one, with Spidey futilely trying to stop The Juggernaut from carrying out a paid hit on an elderly invalid. He didn't succeed, but he gave it his all (http://tinyurl.com/n4bvr79).

Anyone else have any opinions?

#comics  
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I picked Superman at first, but now change my mind to Flash.
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James Olchak

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Serious question: Do any good webcomics update, anymore?

I swear, a couple years ago, I had this whole long list of stuff I read, and now there's basically nothing. Either it updates ten times a president, or it's no longer a comic strip (instead a daunting wall of fan-fiction by the author who can't get a strip put together), or it's gone from being like, a funny slice of cartoon whimsy to a treatise on just how much more intensely millennials feel sadness. What the living fuck. Is there anything to read other than Gunshow, Guilded Age and Bad Machinery? Anybody have any suggestions?

#webcomics  
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dead @ "a treatise on just how much more intensely millennials feel sadness."
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Checkmate, creationists!

#Iloveyoutheonion
BERKELEY, CA—Challenging long-held views on the origins of divinity, biologists at the University of California, Berkeley, presented findings Thursday that confirm God, the Almighty Creator of the Universe, evolved from an ancient chimpanzee deity. ...
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Neil deGrasse Tyson notes the simple fact that if the Universe is 5000 years old,  most of the visible stars and galaxies in the night sky would be dark since there has not been enough time for their light to reach us.   In other words,  to refute creationism just go outside on a cloudless night and look up.
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