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Happiness and success?


1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery. (Or stay unmarried if you wish :-)
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

Source: From a very old email:
This is not meant to be taken too seriously or literally.
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235 comments
 
I think I've already failed on #21 lol.
 
Excellent thoughts until 21, which totally depends on who your mom is!
 
Great list! I can totally vouch for the validity of #1...
 
+1, that's my way of saying I love it.
 
Well, for a mom the #21 is most important... :-)
Peter G
+
4
5
4
 
Ideally, don't marry at all.
 
When you've got a daughter at schoolies on the Gold Coast, believe me, #21 is right up there!

With you on that +Jaana Nyström !
 
23. You cant save everyone, but its good that you want to.
 
On #21: don't do anything just to make your Mom proud. She'll be ever prouder if you find your own way.
 
Don't let the angry mean people get you down. 
 
You shouldn't do number 1 at all. Staying single means you can do what you want, when you want, how you want without ever having to compromise. It's a lot cheaper too.
 
All of 20 requirements to happiness and success are among the many more positive things a person can do to make a mother proud. Shall we say.....Only DO things that will make ANY mother PROUD.
 
90% of the happiness or misery does not depend upon chosing a right person........... it depends on how well you adjust with the person you marry.............
 
That's about the truth... I disagree with the previous comment though, you shouldn't have to adjust to marrying the wrong person - pick the wrong one and you may never adjust.
 
okay then choose a right person and never adjust.............. that person will thing he or she is wrong one..........
 
Paradox doesn't apply much to No. 1, when it happens it is usually perfect as long as you comply with the rest, loyal, respect, etc.
 
Knowing that you are marrying the wrong person at the onset and still going ahead with the marriage is an intentional self-destruction.
 
You shouldn't have to change yourself for someone else. They should like you for who you are and if they don't then they are not the right one.
 
adjusting and changing are both different..........
 
+Bheem Raj How so? Adjust (v) Alter or move (something) slightly in order to achieve the desired fit, appearance, or result. Sounds like a change to me.
 
you will accept the idea only if you _____ the mind to it... in that dash add change and adapt , then read....... the difference will be clear.....
 
+Bheem Raj 's point. If I were to marry the wrong person & it required change (Change (v) Make or become different, which indicates utter change to become a different entity) that would be wrong. They should accept me for who I am as I should accept them for who they are. However, EVERYONE makes very small changes throughout their lives. Small adaptations or "adjustments" to their lives because of the experiences they have is normal. (Adjust (v) Alter or move (something) slightly in order to achieve the desired fit, appearance, or result.) The difference here +Brian Allen is "slightly" not outright. We can marry the right person for us at that moment in time & "adjust", "adapt" or "grow" apart because of those small changes that always happen in life. So I perfectly understand +Bheem Raj 's point in that we should ALWAYS take care to grow together as opposed to growing apart.
 
How te be a millionaire and not pay taxes: First, get a million dollars ...
 
+Jaana Nyström: this is one of the nicest posts I have ever seen on any social media anywhere... Lovely. 21 things to aspire to!
 
Great Post +Jaana Nystrom though true introspect by Ray Batton
 
Here are some notes I took while going through the list:

I like 1, 2, 8, 10 (with qualifications), 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18
don't like 3, 4, 14
meh about: 5, 6, 9
mildly disapproving of: 7, 20
utter bs: 13 - no one knows how happiness works, genius. you are when you are, and aren't when you aren't. if you think it's any simpler than this, (see 13), then you're making it more complicated than it is.
walks off to applause from cheering philosophers
21 - no comment
 
Nice ... and quite true (from my experience)
 
+James Fierce Hahhahhaaa! I pop over to the grocery store and look what happens the minute I turn my back on Google+... Whew! :-)
 
some time peoples wont get right person in life but he/she will become a Right and Good life partner if they have good understanding between them... All 21 are Good and Nice points to happiness and success.. :o)
 
+Ronald Leslie Please do not spam: You will be reported and blocked, the comment will be flagged and deleted. Not the way to work Google+, I'm afraid.
 
I think, that respect, loyalty and honesty are virtues our society lacks the most. My loved grandfather told me once: No mater what you do, you should always be able to walk with your head held high.

Show respect as for a king, to the poorest. And you will get something back, that you cant even imagine.

In fact, Life is so simple.....
 
22. Don’t be a coward. The fear is what drives us to bad decisions.
 
+L. BROWN - 22. Pay It Forward!
- 23. Be yourself, but be your best self
boo Jay
 
But if I hold both ends of what the picture really looks like and pull, will it become straight again right?
 
"1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery."
or, don't get married:)
It's not really necessary for happiness or success.
boo Jay
 
What kind of magic string is this!?!

I was expecting a response along the lines of, you'd be creating knots, to which I would've said, little bumps in the road are expected.
 
Thank you! I'm printing this out and putting it on my wall in my office.

Can't agree more with all 21 points. Especially the first one. I would not be capable of doing the other 20 things on this list if I wasn't married to such an amazing woman.
 
So true. A great collection. Thought provoking...
 
So if you get number 1 wrong you're screwed!
 
I love this thread. Jaana, where were you 20 years ago, when this might have worked for me, dear?
 
depends on how and what you see obstacles and opportunities as
 
+Niki Malhotra Every Marine learns in Boot Camp, that obstacles and opportunities, are usually the very same thing.
 
+J.C. Kendall Same thing as "Pain is just weakness leaving the body.", right? ;) (husband is former Marine)
 
+maria rani That is spam. Spammers get what's coming to them, won't tolerate any. Reported and blocked, comment will be deleted.
 
It depends except #7, #11, #19 & the 1st half of #5.
 
it is true and i am trying to get to the target
 
i love the diagram!
 
22. Don't get unthinkingly bought into the hectoring belief that you need God to be good.
 
it's bullshit: already the first point is an act of singlicism and only makes people's lives harder when they search their "perfect mate". sure, if you get married, then it should be someone you really like and get along with well, and it's important for happiness, but many small things often matter more than this so-called "most important decision of one's life". the last point is also a problem for many people: for example, my parents are conservative and have not encouraged many of the really good decisions I made. they would just like me to get married and "settle down" which to me is not happiness. And the stuff in the middle of the list: cliches that have been repeated often, some of which (nos 5 and 13) are important and true, others might just work for some people and not for others.
sorry for the harsh critique, but people often get enthusiastic when their optimistic, idealistic prejudices are repeated, but I think they have to be questioned, because they can be very damaging otherwise.
 
Some might say that it is impossible to checkmark each and every point on the list. Some might say it is a rather obvious and utopian collection of virtuous and selfless expressions of life. I say it is just worth trying.
 
Damn... got it all wrong starting @ 1
 
Very nice, I will live this daily. Thanks !
 
Its true, It indicates that success is hard to get but still possible...
 
If you adopt #18, you're halfway there already! Number 1 is a toughie, but you may have married the right one, even if sometimes it doesn't feel that way.
 
Perfection! A picture tells a million words.
 
...and acknowledge there will be lots of bumps and hurdles along the way.
 
Absolutely wonderful list- But wheat most people who are successful forget, is you can do everything on this list and still have your home wiped out, your wife and children killed, and your job given away to China all in the same week.
 
So the left pic is your progress chart with out government aid and the right is progrss after you get government aid.
 
I would say happiness or being happy is also much a choice. But a really good list!
 
Don't let the direction of Arrows fool you .. You are already a success ! Happiness is here and now right with you and so is success.
 
The last one ruined it for me. When I take showers my mother isn't proud of me. Should I stop taking showers to be successful?
 
Marriage is such a turn off. I find it quite disgusting that you relate success with marriage. The world would be a much better place if women were less obsessed with marriage.

I lost all my interest to read this post when I saw you put marriage (pukes in disgust) on the first place.
 
What a piece of bullshit. Many of the items are incompatible with each other. Success is not even something that can be defined. Here's my recipe instead: "choose one thing and stick to it".
 
Amen!!!!!!! Ya a great list, it is well- worth following! However, as #1, I would put something else (not saying your #1 isn't important, b/c it IS!). I would put to make sure that I glorify God in all that I say and do, because when I put my eyes and focus on God, I need not worry about the rest because He already has a plan:"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." -Jeremiah 1:5
 
HI NERD ITS SABRINA THE ONE WO LIKES TO ANNOY U!!!!!!!!!! <3
 
The definition of Success -- by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children;
to learn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a little bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
 
got--get out there and do it now
 
I feel like there are definitely ways to smooth out that graph. It subtly reminds me of a Tony Robbins seminar I went to where he talked about smoothing out the success curve by emulating what others had done before instead of banging your head against a wall over and over until you made some more progress.
 
This is absolutely moronic.
 
I am so glad to see a post like this one nowadays, this really made my day!
Its all brilliantly said and the last sentence really sums it all up :D
However the only part that I am not clear on is the number 17. If the author meant by that - "Better be decisive and fail sometimes, than sit and do nothing, thinking that you won't make a single mistake like that(but you won't make any progress either)" - then sure! Great one! :)

I also like the graphical representation a lot! :) It really looks faithful, almost as if someone tried to literally draw his success story with one line :)

So people, listen to this advice, its really nicely said! :)
 
Very powerful. what you just said is very powerful.
 
This is so true && thats why they say you should never ever judge people based off their looks.
 
really this is the way success look like ....
 
Easy to say. What about having some luck?
Nata m
 
it not easy to do in 21 century.
Nizar H
 
Spot on, Jaana!!!
 
congrui jin, and they are usually less happy than married people, keeping everything else the same
 
Really it's true. lot of thanks to u above the article
.
 
If I adept all points in me then I would be happiest person in my own world......:)
 
@##$%%^&&%%$%#$#$%^&&^%$*()*&^%$$#@!@@# my god...
 
yeah,success is so hard,but we still have to go
 
No one Said It is gonnna b easy,but that shouldnt keep us from trying
 
eh, reading up to 1. was enough ... many people choose not to marry, or marry several times
 
ABSOLUTELY True about the first part, Just ask the person who has got sorrow with it, that what is happiness ?
 
Larry, it does look very much like your post! Thank you for sharing.
 
Jaana, I don't see the source of this for 2005, could you share that also? I really like this!
 
The picture is meaningful.
 
Success after a long efforts.........as...try again and again...
 
do you hope there are people with these qualities.. let it happen in future
 
Biased and misleading. As if someone can't be happy without marrying anyone at all.
 
Loved your tips, some of them are real gems. Keep it up!
 
nice article especially success graph
 
If I whant to stay celibatie ? Is that means that 90 % of the rest is false ? And by the way, my mother don't give a damn about me. So I can do everything a wanted ? I'm not sharing our point of view in live. The first sentence is very pejorative. Everyone is responsible for is on happiness. Not matter ir you choose mariage or not....
 
Of course these points are not absolute, but should be taken with a pinch of humor. Everyone makes their own choices and decisions in life. I happen to agree with all of these, but that doesn't mean YOU must...
 
That's MY list - how do you know? Just add: 22. Admire beauty. 23. Have some hobbies 24. Eat chocolate..
 
I know, you wanted it fo be fun. But ii also send the message, that you SHOULD go throw marriage in live happy. That king of phrase repeaied many time get in poeple mind. And I've got to explaine my-self every time somebody want to "match" me. Did you ever see a policitcien celibatie with no family to show on the new ? That will be bad for there image...and that will be bad because ppl perpetuate this style of living. D'ont take it personnaly. It's society.
 
I totally agree with the list. It took me 48 years, but it was worth it to find my wife :)
 
success is the first one ... it only becomes the second ones if u dont go about it ... follow God and everything would become easy for u .... it has been done and it all the time being done .... Remember Success is easy
 
Excellent! Lots of course corrections along the way. So learn to appreciate your mistakes as feedback for you to get back on the path of progress, NOT perfection.
 
+Suzanne Broughton Like I wrote in an earlier comment directly to your husband, I saw this drawing for the first time around year 2005... What goes around, comes around. Especially in the Interwebz...
 
word feel as fresh moist breeze , got "Inner Peace" -- A kungfu panda wannabe :P
 
you can friendship with me
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