Filamena Young writes about her experience with sexual harassment at conventions, and she's not alone in these experiences. I've been groped at conventions, and it makes me feel like I'm not respected. That no matter what I do, or what I create, I'm just a set of body parts to some people. It's pathetic.
Lets see how long before I have to turn comments off, shall we?
one plus one
Shared publicly•View activity
View 58 previous comments
- I don't think we are talking about behavior that is just socially awkward, especially based on what some of the ladies have commented on. Frankly they seem more tolerant than I'd probably be under the circumstances. (But then again, I'm not exactly lingering look material).
With hugs, they can see you coming and you aren't grabbing places that they are talking about. And I don't think you are waiting until you can try to put yourself in some kind of power position before swooping in. Are you looking at other people's faces to see if you are crossing the line so you can back off?
Yeah none of us like the uncomfortable, and we should all be more sensitive before we initiate any physical contact. But we all can be awkward, and we've been on the receiving end of the awkward too; it's not the same kind of violation as having your feeling of safety intentionally taken away.Apr 30, 2012
- Yeah, I'm familiar with power play of the consensual and non-consensual varieties, and never felt that I was worth harassing. Right here, right now, with no women in sight for me, I have no problem thinking in a gentlemanly manner. I'm not trying to over-emphasize my difficulties, or worse, to minimize the all-too-real problems they are going through, but I do feel that in some situations, my more base thoughts pressuring me. I can relate to the rationalizations of "The way she was dressed, she was practically asking for it." (I don't agree with it, but I "get it.") and sometimes wish women would be covered from head to toe. Not realistic, I know. Plus, then it would mean I could misinterpret showing ankle as provocative. It's me, not them.
I feel bad if I glance down to a neckline.
I look forward to more of this conversation, and 's product.Apr 30, 2012
- If you look at their face once or twice and you don't grab, I'm sure it's fine. I like whatdoes as cons, he says "Are you a hugger?" and then hugs when you say yes, and gives great hugs. Best part is they are co-ed hugs.
Sometimes it's hard to know people's boundaries, especially when we talk so much online, meeting for the first time we can feel super close but not know a person's limit. Some people don't like hugs, others do, asking works. Another friend at my first con (won't name names) was also super awesome when he leaned over at dinner and asked if I was Poly, knowing I was married. I said no and he said then he wouldn't seriously hit on me but might flirt if that didn't bother me. That was cool and I felt totally comfortable.Apr 30, 2012
- , thank you. You've made me realize also that while I have potential to be part of the problem, my motivation is in the other direction, and a lot of my worrying is because of these knowing harassers. To paraphrase , they're ruining it for me as well, since I'm over thinking myself, avoiding situations instead of becoming more comfortable and learning what's truly proper, and missing out on wonderful people who just happen to be as beautiful on the outside.May 1, 2012
- And my apologies tofor the sidebar from an important discussion. I hope I haven't derailed it in my selfishness.May 1, 2012
- We've sidebarred all over the place, I think...May 1, 2012