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Islamica News
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News You Can Lose
News You Can Lose

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Washington, DC – On Saturday, members of the White House staff announced the ‘Make America Great Again IFFTAR BASH 2017.’ This event is meant to mark the start of Ramadan, the sacred month when Muslims abstain from food and drink during the daylight…

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Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – On Sunday evening as the Trump delegation left Saudi Arabia for Israel, White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon reportedly requested the convoy to abruptly pull over at a nearby mosque. Much to the confusion of the entire staff, a…

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Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – Kicking off a five country swing across the Middle East and Europe, President Donald Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia donning a burqa, an outer garment some Muslim women wear to cover themselves in public. According to his staff, Trump…

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Downers Grove, IL – On Sunday, forty-something mother of two, Azeeza Khan, reminded her youngest daughter of blood pressure issues during a heated exchange about a trip to the movies. “I asked her if I could go to the 10 pm showing of Guardians of the…

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Haram Researchers Invent New Way of Sneaking Pork Into Food

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Speaking via webcast yesterday, scientists at the Haram and Very Makruh (HVM) Institute announced a breakthrough, allowing them to stealthily infuse pork-based molecules into virtually all forms of food. “This is the kind of edible…

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Whitehorse, Yukon – Fearing predictable repercussions after yesterday’s mass shooting, lone wolf Randy Wolfowitz held a press conference on Thursday sharply condemning terrorism in all its forms. A visibly frustrated Wolfowitz clearly expressed his…

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Area Uncle Faisal Naseeruddin was greeted by an assortment of groans, hisses and occasional boos while continuing his annual tradition of mercilessly overusing his one “Good Friday” joke. “It’s funny because every day is Good Friday for Muslims, you…

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The following is an editorial written by Margaret Smith whose views and opinions are her own and do not reflect the viewpoints of Islamica News. Smith is widely know for her coining of the terms ‘Lamestream Media,’ ‘Killary,’ ‘Libtards,’ ‘Snowflake’ and…

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Muslim Satirical Publication Struggles To Get Through This Shit #NeverTrump

Expressing disappointment they couldn’t publish a slue of articles on the night of Trump’s presumptive loss, writers at the popular Islamica News publication expressed anger and frustration on the election of their new orange overlord. “This is crap. He…

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Moderate Trump Supporters Extend Olive Branch #Election2016

In a heartfelt moment after all major networks declared Donald Trump’s victory, the nation’s three moderate Trump supporters offered words of encouragement after the election of our nation’s 45th president. “It was a hard-fought battle and ugly things…
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