This morning, I read an article about divorce, and while it's pretty depressing, I can understand where the author is coming from. I just don't understand why anyone would let their lives fall apart in such a way! Don't blame your failings on society or technology. Learn from them and become stronger.
I think the real problem is when people start saying they "have to" be together instead of "choose to" or "get to." Sure, I've been married only 2 years now, but I can hardly express how much I love the life that +Maria Madsen
and I chose to share with one another. I think we've grown even closer over these couple of years.
Sure, social media can be crippling to a marriage if you let it, but if you keep it in its place, it can become something positive. It's the way I keep in touch with my family, who are spread across several continents. I don't post for strangers. I post for the people who mean something in my life, whether or not they like anything I have to say. If any relationship you have mirrors anything that THAT article presented, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
How do I keep my marriage alive? I take my wife out every weekend. For the past 6 months, we've been living with her parents because we didn't have our own home when I got out of the army. It forced us to learn how to live in a tiny space, with no privacy, no way to be as romantic as a young couple should be. But we found ways to get through it. Could we have rented? Yes, but we would be stuck with a landlord, and experience has taught me that rentals are a nightmare.
How do we find time for each other? My wife works during the day and I work late into the night. Weekends are all that we really have together, so we take that time to be together, often in remote places with no cell reception. Sometimes we've been lucky enough to spend some of that time in a hotel. We've made it work, and kept the spark alive through some very difficult challenges.
Some of you might wonder, where did we meet?
A couple of years ago, this cute little Mexican girl posted a picture of Seattle. I saw it in my feed because we had a mutual friend. I had no idea who she was, but the picture spoke to me during a time that I wasn't sure what I wanted out of life. I commented on it, saying how much I missed my home, meaning Washington. A month or two went by, and we both had forgotten about it, but something drew us to start talking, and that's where it all began. We started spending our time together through Facebook, then text messages, then phone calls, and finally in person. By the time we actually met face-to-face, we already knew we wanted to be married, and though it's far from what families expected, we decided that waiting for a traditional wedding wasn't in the books for us. Someday we may get to celebrate with the traditional cake and photos and a family gathering, but today, we're together.
Our wedding was as simple as it gets. No photoshoot. No family to share the moment. Just a couple who really want to be together exchanging vows before a justice of the peace, with a couple strangers as witnesses. Not even a courthouse. No, our wedding was at a prison complex because Fayetteville, NC is just that morbid. We didn't even take a selfie together because we were so caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and excitement for our future. Besides that, we had to leave our cell phones with the guards before entering.
So, do we worry about whether we'll be married 10, 20, 50 years from now? I'm sure it crosses our minds as it does any couple, but we just try to live our lives, in the moment, wherever life takes us, together.
At last, we're finally buying our own home. Who needs a $300,000 home? We knew exactly what we wanted, and we finally found it! A home on our own lot, five minutes from the coast, for way under $100,000. What's more important is that we finally will have our own place, our privacy, and still have a few dollars to explore the world over our weekends and what little time I get off from work.
We don't have children, and aren't expecting any at the moment. Will that happen in the future? Only God knows, and we'll face that cute little bundle of hurdles if and when He decides it is right. In the meantime, we have each other, and we intend to keep it that way.
We CAN handle marriage, but only if we choose to, and so can you.