Dead Before Dawn Ramblings
Due to my previous (questionable) Netflix viewing habbits, Netflix thought it would suggest the movie Dead Before Dawn 3D (2012) to me. Well, I give in; though not without me writing down my rambling stream of consciousness throughout the movie.

Here we go...

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Wait, there's no production company logos/intros before the movie? It just starts?

Starting out with a dream sequence. I hate those.

Is that the time-traveling doctor from those very famous movies?

WTF is up with this guy and his mother?

Ooh... the girl from Superbad?

Slightly sassy goth girl as his BFF. I like her.

Who buys antique mugs?

Oh. That guy. :-/

And the giant douche enters.

That's a creepy urn. I bet it will be the source of the horror in this horror comedy.

"Kid, I'll give you the tour of the place." <warms kid about supernatural, evil urn> "That's it. Bye!"

Now the whole group from the poster/trailer are together in the creepy shop with the evil, evil urn. I wonder what will happen.

Wait, are they brainstorming the plot of the movie in the actual movie?

No, really? They actually did that?

It would be funny if the curse was actually all in his head - like everything so far indicates.

Duct tape solves everything; even cursed, mega-evil urns with the ashes of a mega-evil spirit. (Spirits don't have ashes, right?)

EMINENT DOOM! Oh, and advice about proper lipstick color for a date.

A ukelele? Really? Dude, no.

Wildcats? That team name seems familiar... High School Musical?

FIRST BLOOD!

Okay. This is like 0.01 % horror. Yep, pretty much just plain, silly comedy with a horror-like plot.

Well, maybe 0.02 % horror.

That is kind of cool and fresh though.

At least two of these main characters are utter idiots.

"Great Scott!" - It is that time-traveling doctor!

I just understood why they have been referring to the zombies as "semen" this whole time; they are saying z-men, as in zombi men.

That's a lot of screaming.

Some of these teenagers are better at choosing weapons that others.

"Boom goes the semen!"

HE HAS A CALCULATOR WATCH!!!

Death of the giant douche. Oh well.

They are calling it a "semen curse." :-P

That was a weird radio station. All people screaming about impending doom.

What's with this "are you on the weed" again?

THE CHEERLEADER JUST SEDUCED A Z-MAN!

The cheerleader has a z-man slave.

That guy is seriously sucking some tailpipe.

Why is it that in every zombie movie ever, the transformation from dead human to alive-again zombie gets shorter as the movie progresses?

For second there I thought she was going to remove the brain matter from his face with her mouth in an attempt to be seductive.

What the fuck is a dickie?

Does that cheerleader ever stop posing?

"The semen seducer"... :-S

The semen joke is actually growing on me.

Dying guy: "Best friend, promise me one thing." <takes selfie> "Post this." <dies>

I don't think he posted that selfie.

Apologetic zombie cheerleader.

For a second there I thought "Life on Mars" was starting playing. 

Zombie talk sounds remarkably like baby talk.

No!

I doubt that was the kind of threesome that he was hoping for.

That was a sucky twist.

And a boring ending. Sigh.

Post movie note:
Apparently the most interesting character, the BFF goth chick, was also the director of the movie:
"The Feature Dead Before Dawn 3D confirms April Mullen as the youngest person and first female to ever direct a live action stereoscopic 3D feature film."
At least that's something; even if the movie was overall meh.

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(List of all my reviews and ramblings at reviews.reschat.com)
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