My All Cheerleaders Die Rambling Stream of Consciousness
About a week ago I came across the horror comedy movie All Cheerleaders Die (2013) and it seemed stupid, so I skipped it. Then today I encountered it again and I decided to give it a shot anyway - though with the addition of me writing down my rambling stream of consciousness throughout the movie, as I have done several times before with other movies ranging from semi-stupid to completely ridiculous.

Here we go...

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Yeah! The lead is the same actress who rocked as the lead in Tomorrow, When the War Began.

And there's the cheerleader "queen", A.

"GANGSTA!" - something I didn't expect a cheerleader to say.

Something feels off.

HOLY SHIT! That was brutal.

So the cheerleader girlfriend is simply a status symbol and nothing more. Go figure.

The cinematography isn't half bad. I didn't expect that from a horror comedy.

Oh. Now I see. That's why something felt off - because this horror flick actually has a decent plot setup.

All girl pool party in a horror movie and no nudity. I guess this is PG-13 horror. Oh, well.

Why are all the guys shirtless and ripped, standing outside the door?

So far this seems more like Mean Girls than a horror movie. I am not at all complaining; this is actually pretty great.

Wait; is the main character gay and used to date that goth chick? This movie gets more and more interesting.

Oh, fuck. That is some quality character development already this early in the movie.

And to think I was this close to not giving this movie a shot because of its cheesy title and it being a horror comedy.

So far there has been two short lesbian makeout scenes and both of them served an essential part in the movie's plot. What the fuck is up with this movie? Pool party without nudity and only girl-on-girl action when it is necessary for the plot? This is certainly not your everyday horror flick.

Who wrote this? Because it is several kinds of great and I want to high-five the people who made it.

Wait, where's the horror part?

That's not horror - that's good, old-fashioned drama.

I'm calling it - this movie could end this very second and it would be a 10/10 short drama film.

But it goes on; let's see how that turns out...

Here comes the supernatural horror part.

Witch got powers (or just a sack of magic stones).

Somehow the movie is still great with all the supernatural weird stuff going on all over the place.

Those eyes!

How can they do this without it seeming absolutely ridiculous? Jennifer's Body did the same thing and it was laughable; this film does it and it works.

Though I am definitely not liking the whole "glowing crystal inside"-thing.

Good effects; questionable choice to use those effects for that purpose.

Perfect reaction by the first-time witch who resurrected a bunch of cheerleaders.

Once again, this movie is a shining example of how a horror comedy can have great writing and complex characters.

... and then there's a slow-motion "walking down the hallway" scene. Somehow fitting though.

This is Mean Girls, Jennifer's Body, Freaky Friday, and a whole bunch of other things, all rolled into one single piece of greatness.

How? How did the movie do that?

We have nudity after all. Boobs - for no particular reason. Somehow it felt misplaced since the movie is so great it wasn't necessary - something that isn't the case for most horror flicks, where female nudity is necessary in order to get any kind of enjoyment out the movie.

This is Vampire Academy kind of freakily awesome. (Those ramblings: )

Wait! The boss cheerleader actress has great acting skills after playing a seemingly dumb character for this long - and the character was even written with this in mind. Shit, this movie keeps surprising me.

Subtle, but relevant, stuff happeningen in the background for the people who pay close attention.

These characters keeps revealing more complex sides of themselves.

Another heartbreaking backstory. Damn, moved again.

What was that?

Bad guy is now supernatural?

Gore that makes me feel the pain? What the hell?

Nope, nope, nope. Completely misplaced music. First big flaw of the movie - though it only lasted roughly 4 seconds.

This is a horror flick that is not that far away from the level of brilliance that Attack the Block achieved.

Though, that was unnecessarily gory.

Fuck. That was cliche and amazing, all at the same time.

WHAT?!?!? "Part One"? And that ending? Shit, at least the movie was great - even if it ended on a typical horror flick trope.

The movie is over - but the music of the credits is a person playing with radio stations because they can't find anything they really like. This is kind of brilliant (and unnerving) too. Final stamp of "yep, this is awesome" for this movie.

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(List of all my reviews and ramblings at
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