Watching D.E.B.S. and Rambling
Okay, I'm doing this. I will watch D.E.B.S. (2004) and write down my rambling stream of consciousness throughout the movie. I don't know why I didn't start it 30 minutes ago, when I started the movie, but I guess I'll start the movie over and do it this time.

Here we go...

- - -

This is already so fucking stupid!

Lie. Cheat. Fight. Kill. - Oh, this is about the SAT. Makes sense.

I had forgotten how incredible cheesy this was.

Plaid forcefield. Of course.

Isn't that the guy from Sin City with the gold eye?

The Asian one is French?

How do you misplace your gun? 'Merica?

How many communication devices do you have to ignore your ex on?

So many clichés already.

Those are some miniature skirts.

Why is everything plaid?

Are those holograms or teleports? Must be holograms.

Wind from holograms? Eh?

Of course there is the one character who gets nothing, who is there to make sure the viewer gets all the backstory, despite that the characters should already know all of this.

Dun dun dun!!! Directly followed by "Here's your smoothie!" Perfect!

Hologram wind again. What?

When a place is introduced as "Evil Lair" you expect a certain flair; and they certainly deliver.

Gay? Yes, gay.

Discretely indicating plan to destroy Australia. Nice.

These two seem more like the parody of a rom-com, and not like a supervillain and her top henchman.

The fakeness of this scene is blowing the scale. So stupid - and so fun.

Screw Bobby. Not literally - that's kind of the point.

I kind of hate Bobby - for no particular reason. He is not unreasonable - but... Ehh...

How do those wires even work? Who put this much effort into something this unnecessary.

Girls talking fashion on a stakeout. Cliché.

The Russian assassin likes Vodka. Cliché.

Okay, this is one awkward date.

WHAT? What part of him did you put six chickens into?

Wait, the stereotypical Russian assassin is not a 1-dimensional character? I just assumed, but I guess I wasn't paying attention.

I know this is kind of a parody - but this action scene seems almost exactly like hundreds of serious action movie action scenes. I guess this kind of explains why I dislike most action movies that try to be serious.

The "let's split up" trope. I wonder who will die (spoiler: no one - I've seen this movie many times before).

Clumsiness turning into Mexican standoff.

What is going on with you, girl? You're acting off - and not just because a gun is pointed at you.

Blind date? GAAAAYYYYY!!! <insert homophobic seal>

Your thesis were relying on the assumption that the supervillain girl were straight? Well, that theory certainly went out the window.

I really enjoy these heart-to-heart between the supervillain and her top henchman.

Weird music - though perfect for this new level of stupidity going on.

Come on!?!?! Even cartoony sound effects all around? Perfection. :-D

Suddenly crossbow!

Kidnap two government spy girls and take them to a night club in order to pursue one of them romantically. How can this possibly go wrong?

Did they just throw in the "girls have tiny batters" stereotype as a major plot point? Twice.

Are they in the UK or are those ravers just very fond on Britain? No, that's a top hat - definitely the UK. Wait, I thought this took place in 'Merica.

First date with someone who is writing their thesis about you. Creepy. Though then again, you kind of kidnapped her in order to get this date, so I guess she's not the creepy one.

Ebola? So topical. Wait, this is from 2004.

I really like how casually this movie is going over the whole "she is gay" thing.

This is kind of romantic.

Talking about federal rules is kind of a turnoff.

Clam jammed!

Oh, of course her breakup explains why she was gone for multiple hours in the middle of the night and WHY THERE IS A SWEATER HANGING FROM AN ARROW ON THE FRONT LAWN TREE?!?!

So it's not a hologram, but a teleport? I have so many questions now. (Resisting urge to post rant about teleporting = death, or linking to old post about the topic.)

How difficult can it be to remember a name as long as "Amy"?

She's the lamb from The Silence of the Lambs? What?

Doing a bank heist in order to get a second date seems kind of desperate.

If those skirts were any shorter they would be belts.

This is really, really stupid. And really, really entertaining.

Bags with giant dollar signs on them. Figures.

Don't say "this can't get any worse."

Aw. So sweet.

Fake a kidnapping to be with your supervillain girlfriend. Probably the least cliché thing about this movie.

Even SNL might be less silly than whatever this it. I love it!

What does an aptitude test measure?

An actual honest and real conversation in the midst of all the silliness. I like this.

Bra snapping fight and bingo distracting the bad guys from the good guys attacking.

Awww... So sweet.

That's an awkward thing to walk in on.

So how do you spin your top agent boning (their word) the supervillain?

I guess that could work - if she isn't actually in love.

This is kind of sad. I thought this was going to be all fun and games.

Dude, she's not into you. Wasn't running away with the supervillain girl after breaking up with you not enough of a hint?

Teddy bear gun holder. :-)

Girl, what are you doing with that giant weapon? Oh, destroying Australia. Okay; carry on.

Giving up world domination for love. That's really sweet.

Oh, and there's a cheesy 80s song and a lip-sync sequence to go with it. Perfect!

Okay, I'll give you a link to this thing of beauty (stupidity):
youtu.be/mDi8rUvjf3E

It has been a very long time since I last saw something this cheesy. I love it.

I just figured out what this reminds me of - Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Old man teleporting into a girl's bedroom is kind of creepy.

The spy prom is called "Endgame"?

Secret, master, evil, supervillain plan: "Tell her that you love her." Heh...

That Asian spy is very, very stereotypical French.

That's a lot of big guys with big guns for one little girl. Still, she can probably take all of them.

Wait a minute. Is their honor award called the Mary Jane? Isn't that slang for something?

For a perfect liar she is kind of not selling this lie at all. I guess she can't lie about matters of the heart. :-P

Awww. It all of sudden got really cute again.

Awwww! The place where they first met. Perfection!

Aw. Friend sticking up for friend running away with supervillain. Cute!

Ending with the couple driving off into the night. Very sweet.

Movie over. So fucking stupid - but I really liked it.

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(List of all my ramblings and reviews at reviews.reschat.com)
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