Watching Agent 47 and Rambling
When I was but a mere pre-teen, my little brother and I got the computer game Hitman: Codename 47 at Christmas. It was different from what we were used to; it was about subtlety, stealth, and completing missions with as little impact as possible on anything except the main target. This "silent assassin" theme was kept to a somewhat consistent degree throughout the game series - but apparently movies like to do the opposite of the source material they are based on. Sigh - at least for the first movie adaptation.
However, now that the second adaptation, Hitman: Agent 47 (2015), has been out for some time, I thought it'd be a perfect way to slow down my overactive brain for a little while. Though, I can't watch something with such a trainwreck of a first adaptation attempt without writing down my rambling stream of consciousness.

So here we go...

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My initial question: Is this going to be as bad as the earlier adaption - or worse?

This premise sounds familiar. And the backstory delivery is not half bad.

Ooh, Minority Report type interface.

I don't remember this level of sci-fi from the Hitman games.

And they are already going overboard on the action - way beyond anything in the games. That only took them a little more than 3 minutes.

Sponsored by Audi.

I wonder what part of "Hitman: Silent Assassin" they misunderstood. Because the whole goal of the games were to kill only the target and do so without triggering any alarms or anyone noticing anything. This is the exact opposite.

I wonder who this is. This character is already more intriguing than Agent 47, who just blows stuff up and makes a lot of noise.

Interesting scenery.

This movie is already beginning to take form as another one of those movies where all the scenes without the main character are the most interesting.

What was that? Psychic?

I recognize that interface.

To be honest, this 47 looks nothing like the original game 47 either. I guess it is not easy to find an actor that looks like the original.

I'm pretty sure I know where the movie is going and what the story is. Not bad, though - far better than the last one. Now let's see how this one tells the story.

Wait, we already see what Diana looks like? None of the shadowed in mystery intrigue that usually follows these types of characters?

Okay, that is an original hiding place.

Sylar. Now known as John Smith.

I'm still confused by this psychic stuff.

Wait, who is good and who is bad?

That gotta hurt.

Side note: That train looked like a LEGO train.

Slow walking guy catches up with both sprinting people and high speed cars.

Wait, you bring your prisoner weapon and ammunition? Why? This is not going to end well.

That ended exactly as expected.

Nice touch with the quick outfit change though.

"I don't know much - only all these exceptionally specific details." - That guy.

John Smith is actually Bryan Smith? Or is the last name also a lie? What aren't you lying about, dude? Is everything a rouse?

Don't you fucking try and introduce a completely unnecessary romantic/sexual subplot.

She likes to keep it analogue. No wonder why they couldn't track how far she had gotten with her research.

Again with mr. "I don't know much" knowing fucking every single detail about the guy he don't know much about. Heck, even his favorite flower.

Lights out.

Aw, sad child. :-(

Again with the over-the-top stuff. Don't movies nowadays know the value of subtly?

OUGH! Burn!

Ah, explaining the psychic stuff away by saying it is simply highly calculated intelligent anticipation using extremely heightened senses.

WILHELM SCREAM!!! Booyah!

Something is off with the light. It is beautiful - but it is like a combination of sunset and sunrise.

Again with the explosions. Please learn to keep it simple.

Okay, that is an awesome detail. Subtly changing between points of view, during the same scene, with people being in different parts of the world and thereby the light outside being different. Again, subtlety does the trick.

I like this kind of slight misdirection and subtle obversion stuff. Real cool spy crap.

I actually like these two main characters now. Not in the "good people, I like them" way - but in the "interesting people, I hope I never encounter them" kind of way.

Wait, no; that doesn't make sense. The barcode is an number. You don't get the barcode at one point and the number at another. They are the same thing.

I am seriously confused why the person who made 47 didn't make him unable to feel empathy - it's not that hard to do for anyone with simple understanding of how the brain works. Hmm... But he is real good a faking lack of empathy - perhaps that is the point. Is there an even deeper subplot here, concerning what the creator of the Agents wanted to accomplish?

This is like a 2 year old and her 4 year old big brother bickering.

This looks like Tomorrowland; the movie, not the... whatever the movie was based on.

Nah, I wanted Patinkin - not this guy.

I am more and more feeling like this movie would have been way (WAY!) better, if they had cut all the action, cut Agent 47, and just had it be a story about Katia discovering her origin and intended purpose - and learning to accept it and live her own life.

Knowing that all of this is sibling bickering makes it all the more amusing.

Sponsored by Audi - which can get hit by multiple motorcycles and not get a single scratch. (Site note: I wrote this before the car actually hit any of the motorcycles - but the statement turned out to be true all the same.)

Sometimes I wonder why they would use CGI for something so unnecessary - like a cracked window.

Okay, that car color distribution is statistically impossible. Pretty though.

I don't care about this storyline. Especially since it seems like it has overtaken the only interesting storyline of this movie.

Sorry, time past and I said nothing. It was the same bullshit action scenes again.

A few interesting takes in there - but overall, this is not interesting, fresh, entertaining, or of any value at all. More stereotypical action bullshit.

Okay, some of it is at least quite stylish.

Oooh, that prolonged "nothing is happening" elevator scene was pure gold. I am so conflicted about this movie. Yes, an elevator scene with nothing happening almost redeemed 15 minutes of pure bullshit action for me. Subtlety is king and I... wait, this metaphor is going in a direction I don't like. Point: Good, simple elevator scene.

Followed by a stupid ass action scene, which there were no need for. Sigh.

Okay. No sense did that make.

Somewhere deep down there is a good story. But they added way too much nonsensical action, and the value of the story got lost.

Video game ending.

Or is it?

Yes it is.

Meh, with a smile. It wasn't all bad.

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(List of all my review and ramblings at reviews.reschat.com)
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