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Greg McDade
Lives in Clinton, Ia
122 followers|271,009 views
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Experimenting with Border combinations
2
Jodi Frye's profile photoGreg McDade's profile photo
2 comments
 
thanks!
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Cloud formation in rural north eastern Iowa
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Cool !
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Galena River, Galena, Illinois
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love the textures in this and the muted tone...very appealing piece !..
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Reverend Zombie's House of Voodoo, French Quarter, New Orleans, La.
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Love the textures and tones and of course subject matter ! Really attractive piece !
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Oncoming storm near Dubuque, Ia
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3 comments
 
Looks great so far +Greg McDade ! Carry on... :)
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Greg McDade

> Architecture Photos  - 
 
St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, New Orleans, Louisiana
3
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Have him in circles
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Evening
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I like the simplicity of it all +Greg McDade 
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
Grant Statue, Grant Park, Galena, Il.
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Thanks again, +Jodi Frye 
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, New Orleans, La.
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3 comments
 
Oh ya... I know what you mean there... it has a certain quality about it that lures you in...
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Greg McDade

Your Photos  - 
 
A barn in rural Iowa
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Thanks!
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Greg McDade

The Critique  - 
 
Would like some feedback, thanks in advance for your time!

Tomika

Ten year old Tomika, waits
in the summer sun, just outside
the shadow that her building
screams on the ground.

Wearing the same dingy white t-shirt
she always wore when there was no
school, no church, and last years jeans
her mother cut into shorts, she waits

SWOOSH!

The water is released from the peeling
yellow hydrant, streaking across the
black street, wet.

She watches it for a moment, gathering
courage as she watches it wash away 
the battered remnants of the past week.

The stain from last Friday night washes
into the sewer, removing the pain left from
Tomika's neighbor, Anthony, they beat him
and he spent two days in that hospital room.

The smell of malt liquor, too, is washed away,
along with the bottle, left broken
in the gutter, baked into the cement
by the simmering August sun.

Rushing across the stream, she screams 
as the cold water slaps against her,
dousing her face as she closes her eyes to the world.

On the other side of the stream, she wipes her face
eyes still blurry, looking out over a neighborhood
of basic shapes and patches of blurry color.

She looks up to the white sun, feeling the heat
on her face. This is what she loves about summertime:
running through cold water on a hot day and wet
blurry eyes that make everything seem better.

She thinks that someday her mother will find work,
someday her father will come back home,
and someday soon she'll finish school, then high school
and eventually, she'll be leaving for another place.

Somewhere nice, she hopes, somewhere with 
plenty of sunshine and fire hydrants
opened up under the hot August sun,
where she can someday show her own daughter

how it's done.
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The Terry Tree's profile photoBeatnik Housewife's profile photoAJ Walker's profile photo
3 comments
 
It's definitely a little wordy, there are some words, modifiers, etc that can be safely taken out.

The whole bit about the shadow screaming comes out of left field and needs to be reworked or have a better build up. It's just sitting there, almost violently, which doesn't fit with the rest of the poem.

Also, it strikes me as being told in the passive voice which robs it of the power I think you were intending.

Events are described but not shared, like the main character is looking in from someone else's life or the writer got there well after everything has taken place.
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Greg McDade

> Architecture Photos  - 
 
Jackson Square Fountain and St. Louis Cathedral
1
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People
Have him in circles
122 people
BIJU Majhi's profile photo
Makenna mae's profile photo
allison mcd. (itsallimcdade)'s profile photo
Feather Pen's profile photo
Larry Henley's profile photo
Printing Unlimited's profile photo
Dylan Damkoehler's profile photo
Blake Sinclair's profile photo
Leonel ROJAS VELASQUEZ's profile photo
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Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Clinton, Ia
Previously
Tucson, Az. - Warren, Il - Lena, Il - Champaign, Il - Tolono, Il - Philo, Il
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Home
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Clinton, Ia
Work
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Camanche, Ia
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  • Monument Valley
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IT Manager interested in photography | poetry
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