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Anesthesiologist Swallows Pride, Develops Small Bowel Obstruction http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/acgme.jpg Tucson, AZ – According to local witnesses, Mercy Hospital anesthesiologist, Henry Stutzman, developed a complete small bowel obstruction hours after swallowing his pride in operating room 7. The incident began when the orthopedic surgeon on the case asked if Stutzman would scratch his balls.  The...
Swallowing pride for this Anesthesiologist caused a small bowel obstruction
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ACGME Now Requires Residents be Given One Hour a Week to Reflect on Their Poor Career Decision http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/residents.jpg In a controversial new ruling, the ACGME has decreed that all residents must be given at least one uninterrupted hour each week to reflect on the monumentally poor career choice that they have made for themselves.
“Step one is admitting a poor career decision”
All other clinical and...
One hour a week is required for residents to reflect upon their poor decision making in choosing their career path
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ICU Team Figures Out What Their Code Needs: More Bicarb! http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/More-Bicarb-e1480993046440.jpg NEW ORLEANS, LA – The ICU team at New Orleans Medical Center (NOMC) made history today by becoming the first medical team ever to implement a bicarb-only (More Bicarb!!) algorithm for cardiopulmonary arrest (see Figure 6 below).  The bicarb-only code took place at 11:06 AM this morning beh...
An ICU team in New Orleans runs the first bicarb-only code in medical history. Bicarb. Nothing more, nothing less. Bicarb.
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Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/External-Fixator-on-Stethoscope.jpg LOS ANGELES, CA – Stating overwhelming concern over the flimsy nature of a medicine colleague’s stethoscope, orthopedic surgeon Brock Hammersley has successfully stabilized it for now with an external fixation device or external fixator.  The procedure only took one hour.
The ...
Orthopod Brock Hammersley helps out fellow medicine colleague Jeff Lefebvre by stabilizing his stethoscope with an external fixator.
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Gomerguy Plague Doctor Named Head of Cleveland Clinic’s Wellness Institute http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Gomerblog6.jpg Cleveland, OH—In response to public outcry after an anti-vaccination blog post, and not at all determined by The Cleveland Clinic’s own moral compass, Dr. Daniel Neides has been removed as Chief Operating Officer of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute. In his place, Cleveland Clinic named the...
GomerGuy, the medieval plague doctor mascot of GomerBlog, has been named the new wellness director for Cleveland Clinic
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Pilot Consults Medicine, Asks if Plane Cleared for Landing http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/38266845_m.jpg “I still can’t believe you consulted me, that was such a soft landing”
DELTA 240 – Just as he started his descent into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after a long transatlantic flight, Captain Jack Wilson asked if “Medicine was on the plane” a...
A Delta pilot channels his inner surgeon and asks Medicine if his plane is cleared for landing in 30 minutes. Gomerblog reveals the conversation.
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The Most Interesting Patient in the World http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/most-interesting.jpg

Humana pays him a co-insurance to go to the ER.
His in-network coverage follows him wherever he goes.
He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies.
He is a universal blood donor and recipient.
His d-dimer is never falsely elevated.
He never needs an insurance prior-authorization.
He knows...
He drives the ambulance to his own emergencies
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Man Gives Frozen Nintendo Cartridge 2 Rescue Breaths http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Super-Mario-Rescue-Breaths.jpg LOS ANGELES, CA – In a desperate attempt to salvage his copy of Super Mario Bros, L.A. native and first-year University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) medical student Mac Little summoned his ACLS knowledge and started giving his flatlining Nintendo cartridge two rescue ...
When his copy of Super Mario Bros stops working, med student Mac Little has no choice but to start CPR and give the Nintendo cartridge two rescue breaths.
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Did you just get paged and you're not sure what to do? No problem. Watch our quick video tutorial and we'll show you how to return that page.
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Med Student Wastes Dying Patient's Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/30656049_ml-e1483112073791.jpg Oh God, not this sh*t again.
LAS VEGAS, NV – F**K!  The Snout is at it again!  Second-year University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) med student Karen Weaselsnout-Jones has been spotted at the bedside of innocent 107-year-old Vincent Canter, wasting his last few precious moments on earth with m...
It's not the way this 101-year-old patient wanted to go: having a damn student teach him about the damn Krebs cycle. Life ain't f**king fair.
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Elite HIPAA Stormtroopers Raid Hospital, Kill 48, Secure 1 Chart http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/30716195_m-e1437318902593.jpg BOCA RATON, FL – An elite HIPAA Stormtrooper unit raided Madre De Díos Hospital when it was alerted that a nurse had left a chart open in the nurses station when she ran to a patient’s room to respond to an emergency.  The HIPAA Stormtroopers killed 48 people, mostly health care wo...
A special ops documentation unit known as the HIPAA Stormtroopers did what was necessary and prudent to secure an open chart at the nurses station.
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Mayo Secretly Celebrates new #1 Status after Cleveland Clinic Comes out Anti-Vax http://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/54110573_m.jpg Rochester, MN – The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus wide party this weekend full of “Nuber 1” balloons and cakes that said “Mayo #1”. These were held after Cleveland Clinic promoted Anti-Vaccination, or anti-vax. Daniel Neides, MD a medical director at Cleveland...
Rochester, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus wide party this weekend full of "Nuber 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". These were held af
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