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GomerBlog Medical Satire | Medical Humor
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America's Finest Medical News Satire Site
America's Finest Medical News Satire Site

357 followers
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Curious Med Student Smells Finger After Digital Rectal Exam https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Smelly-Finger.jpg Harvard Medical School, BOSTON – At the nation’s most prestigious medical school, students were taught how to perform a digital rectal examination (DRE) on real patients for the first time. The DRE is a very important physical exam skill that can assess rectal tone and detect abnormalities of the...
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Three Tips for Female Physicians https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/38591120_s.jpg
Hello, my name is Dr. Sassy McSnark. Although I am frequently confused for a nurse, I am actually a doctor… with a vagina! Who knew such things were possible? Although it was a slug getting though medical school—what with periods, labile emotions and the aforementioned vagina—I managed to gradu...
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Buried placenta grows baby tree https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/61242612_s.jpg Philadelphia, PA – Local health practitioners were stumped yesterday when local soccer mom (and tree hugger) Trina Woods discovered a baby tree growing over the location of her buried placenta. Indeed, this was not an error of punctuation nor a bad pun, but a literal tree with a human...
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Everyone, we mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/50282187_s.jpg With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more and more palpable.
“Gosh darn it, I think I’m going to need to ask for some technical support,” said the good doctor, who was the only one in the room not struggling again...
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Optometrist, Ophthalmologist to Duke it Own at Flagpole at 3 PM Tomorrow https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/57923116_s.jpg CHICAGO, IL – With many in health care wondering if this is the apotheosis between two long-time warring factions, optometrist Rick Fovea and ophthalmologist Craig Sclera have agreed to meet at the flagpole at 3 PM tomorrow to settle their differences old-school.
The history between...
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Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/42297541_s.jpg “I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of her pain that feels real. I want the texture, the taste, the smell – the words need to really pop.”
Dr. Green was five hours into an eight-hour ED shift and had sp...
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Increased Consults for “Cold Extremities” Occurring During Snowstorm, ER Docs Puzzled https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/45076838_s.jpg Jersey City, NJ—a shortage of vascular surgeons has been discovered in the north- east due to an absurd amount a vascular consults in the middle of the night for “cold extremities” by the emergency department. Emergency physicians remain puzzled of the exact cause of the increased incidence of th...
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Not Quite: Intern Claims Champagne Tap After Sticking Bottle of Moët & Chandon https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/38327768_s-e1536088122949.jpg Tapping that champagne
BOSTON, MA – An intern’s initial excitement was quickly reeled in after his team pointed out that sticking a spinal needle through cork of a bottle of Moët & Chandon Imperial Brut did not quite qualify as a champagne tap.
One can hardly blame the intern, Jason Ma...
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Sundowning to be Referred to as Moonupping from Hereonin https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/44148494_s-e1536100219975.jpg Moonupping has a better ring to it
LOS ANGELES, CA – The American Academy of Naming Medical Things (AANMT) has issued a mandated that sundowning will now be referred to as moonupping until further notice.  The terminology switch is effective at 9 PM tonight.
“I don’t know about you gu...
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In Response to High Demand, Ensure Now Available in Keg Form https://gomerblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Ensure-Keg.jpg “Keg stand! Keg stand! Keg stand!”
LAKE BLUFF, IL – You spoke and they listened: Abbott Laboratories, maker of nutritional supplements, has announced that their product Ensure is now available in a 15.5 gallon keg form.
“Ensure consumers are a loyal fan base and they keep w...
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