Yes, it is indeed Springtime in America, when all manner of things, left in various states of dormancy through a long, snowy and cold Winter, seem to veritably, well, spring forth
with newfound and apparently boundless vigor and enthusiasm once time itself springs forward
The days are longer, all the better for a few more hours of sophistry, my dear.
The air is decidedly warmer, all the better for an unbridled spewing forth of nonsense foaming in the soup pot left untended on the back burner of the stove under low heat for too long.
The sun shines a little more brightly, what with its Springtime Equinox lending a Lights! Camera! Action! feel to the Federal cri
And I laugh. Seriously. I mean, I laugh out loud
when I read headlines like The Koch Brothers Are Reportedly ready to Back Scott Walker,
filled as it is with the anticipatory words "reportedly" and "ready," along with the delightful verb "to back."
There are others to compete with it, plenty of them, just a few from the last 24 hours, one more amusing then the next:The talented Mr. Rubio,
from today's Times, by David Brooks, who, in spite of how misguided he can be, I respect because at least he puts it out there. I was particularly charmed by his intriguing use of the adjective 'talented' to describe Rubio, and couldn't help free-associating to Beethoven, Mozart, Picasso, Matisse, Streisand, O'Keeffe, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Shakespeare, Pavarotti, Christopher Wheeldon, to name just a few, but I digress.
True, The talented Mr. Rubio,
was Brooks' riff on the movie title The Talented Mr. Ripley,
in which Ripley (played by the truly talented Matt Damon) was actually a murderer. But I continue to (happily) digress...
Then there is the highly entertaining missive, also from the Times, titled Mike Huckabee Would Be a More Important Candidate Than You Might Think,
penned by Nate Cohn, who looks to be all of twelve years old from the likes of his photo - but I digress, again, sorry. Well, perhaps Huckabee would
be more important, in another incarnation perhaps, but not in this one.
Or perhaps in a campaign in which the timid Cohn would have the courage to switch the ever fearful "would be" for the almighty "will be." Now that would be (sorry) putting it out there.
All of this to be topped off by this morning's Meet the 19th most likely guy to win the GOP presidential nomination,
in the Washington Post. You SURE it's gonna be a "guy?"
Well, I would
like to meet him/her, actually. And I would like to say to him/her/whomever that if any
of the following are on your bucket list of platform points for your campaign, you don't have the slightest chance. Not even the slightest.Any
anti-gay stance will kill your campaign.Any
dismissal of the importance of protecting our planet will kill your campaign.Any
denial of climate change will kill your campaign.Any
talk against women's rights will kill your campaign.Any
anti-education, anti-reduction of student loan interest rates, anti-science stance will kill your campaign.Any
stance against equal pay for equal work will kill your campaign.Any
curtailing of social programs that benefit children and other disenfranchised Americans will kill your campaign.Any
plan to raise taxes on the middle class will kill your campaign.Any
religious platform that makes Americans who don't share your
religion feel disenfranchised, dismissed, disowned or denied will kill your campaign.Any
pro-gun stance will kill your campaign.Any
attempt to repeal ObamaCare and the healthcare it has brought to 9+ million Americans will kill your campaign.Any
big business, pro-Capitalist stance that cannot also reconcile and include the importance of social responsibility and sustained, long-term Planet preservation will kill your campaign.Any
attempt to brand Americans who are something other than right wing Conservatives as Socialists, Liberals, anti-Americans or anti-Patriotic will kill your campaign.
I could go on, but I won't. But there's just one more thing:
I would strongly advise you not
to anger your mother, your sister, your wife, your daughter, your aunt, your grandmother, or your great grandmother, by referring to them as "old," "archaic," "yesterday's news," "over-the-hill," or any other such derogatory or dismissive phrases.
For every political candidate has at least a mother and a grandmother, right? Right?
And not only are there more women getting a high education these days than men, but there are more women voting than men. Right?
Because if you do it will get you into a boatload of trouble, out from which you will never be able to extract yourself. And what's going to happen, if you do alienate any of the above women, is that, come election day, when you ask them for whom they are going to vote, they will look at you sweetly and say, "Why dear, I'm going to vote for your
candidate." And then they are going to go into the polling booth and vote for the candidate that cares about their
Now I am off to line up my sizable collection of hats to eat.
Happy Spring!The Talented Mr. Rubio:http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/21/opinion/david-brooks-the-talented-mr-rubio.html?ref=opinionMeet the 19th most likely guy to win the GOP presidential nomination:http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/meet-the-19th-most-likely-guy-to-win-the-gop-presidential-nomination/2015/04/20/0197e690-e6d7-11e4-aae1-d642717d8afa_story.html #KochBrothers #ScottWalker #MarkRubio #MikeHuckabee #POTUS2016