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A new kind of lake monster has been found in the depths of Lake Tahoe: gigantic goldfish -- that are nearly 1.5 feet long and 4.2 pounds.
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Gosh Darn Foreign Illegal Immigrant Aminals!
Dey tuk yer petz jerbz!!!
 
No, but I'm pretty sure something something Benghazi something something.
 
+Michael Washington Hey- don't joke about Benghazi; a lot of Americans doing their jobs DIED there, and the president didn't lift a finger.

That's not funny.
 
+Michael Washington  That's right... he didn't even appoint Brownie to do a heck of a job. With NOLA, at least a finger was lifted...you guess which one. 
 
+Michael Washington
Yeah the giant goldfish are Obama's fault, he was playing golf, upstream of Lake Tahoe, took a pee into the creek, and the giant goldfish are the result. I have no proof of any of this, however since I am not wearing my aluminum foil hat, I must end my transmission here. The BLACK HELICOPTERS ARE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, that is ...
 
How do they taste? Can we develop a market for them? 
 
Nothing out of the ordinary there.
 
"Cut off their noses! How do they smell?"
"Terrible!"
 
Fox news sure know out to make a mountain out of a mole hill. Goldfich get that size if you let them loose in nature. They are basically carps.
 
"Daddy, what happened to my goldfish?  Tommy said you flushed them down the toilet, is that true?"
 
Oh No it's the North Koreans dropping their irradiated fish on us!
 
Cant be Mr Buns' reactor...it doesnt have three eyes. Its the N Koreans...or Hugo Chavez
 
"The invasion is resulting in the consumption of native species," Chandra said. What's more, the invasive fish excrete nutrients that cause algal blooms, which threaten to muddy Tahoe's clear waters.

Ermahgerd... they poop! And they're not even vegan! Who let them in Tahoe? 
 
and now we know where they get the filet-o-fish from...
 
Goldfish filet. Mmmmmmmm......

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