Princess Peach, won’t you listen to my speech. I don’t have any stars of invincibility. But you’re the brightest star in the starry night to me, I implore you Princess Peach…
YO WHAT UP BITCH, I GOT A ONE-UP BITCH, WHAT’S INSIDE THE QUESTION BLOCK? IT’S MY DICK. IT’S-A ME-A MARIO I’M MORE ITALIAN THAN PASTRAMI I’LL TAKE YOU BY THE PEACHES AND GIVE YOU THE HOT SALAMI. I’LL SAVE YOU FROM DRAGONS AND EVIL BOOS THAT ARE SPOOKY MUST I BE A RACCOON TO GET INSIDE YOUR TANOOKI. I’M GONNA MOUNT YOU LIKE YOSHI AND SHOW YOU THINGS YOU’VE NEVER SEEN, MY MUSHROOM’S NOW MEGA IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, SO SUCK IT.
Mario, you always do this shit! I like a girl, and then you ruin it, by yelling stuff about your dick until they run away.
Hey, Luigi, it’s okay that’s Mario’s a bit risque! Just tell me what you need to say, and please don’t be afraid!
Oh Princess, it means so much for me to hear you say that. The only thing that I’ve ever wanted to tell you is GOD DAMMIT
I’M HERE TO PLEASURE THAT ASS. I’D LIKE TO GO FIRST, PRINCESS, BUT I ALWAYS COME LAST. YOU SAY WE’LL GET TOGETHER, BUT I’M JACKING OFF ALONE. KOOPA TROOPA SKELETONS AREN’T THE ONLY DRY BONES. I AM TIRED OF YOUR RUN-AROUND, IT’S SUCH A FUCKING HASSLE. I GO THROUGH SHIT AND THEN YOU’RE IN ANOTHER FUCKING CASTLE. YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT IT? WELL I DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE. YOU’LL HAVE A LOTTA TIME TO THINK WHEN YOU ARE SUCKING ON MY WARP PIPE.
Oh em gee, I can’t decide on which of you will be the guide to take me on that moustache ride that’ll redefine my life.
I’m ready to give love a shot, it’s not about how many coins you’ve got, I just know I like you a lot.
YO SLUTS, CHECK OUT MY YACHT!
Let me take you on a magic kart ride!
I’LL BUST ALL YOUR BALLOONS WHEN I SMACK YOUR BACKSIDE.
We’ll have such fun, I’ll bring my friends along!
I’LL KICK THAT DONKY KONG RIGHT IN HIS KONKY DONG.
COME ON PEACH, IT’S TIME TO MAKE YOUR CHOICE. I’M THE ONLY BROTHER THAT CAN MAKE YOUR BOOBIES REJOYCE. MY GREEN, LANKY-ASS BROTHER AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME, IT’S TIME TO LIVE OUT THE STORY OF THE PRINCESS AND THE PE(NIS).