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- Interesting story, good ambience.
I think it will help your editing if you read your work aloud. Some words are used in such unusual ways as to trip readers out of the ambience.Oct 11, 2016
- Yes, that's one of the usual tricks to edit, but I'm so used to read in silence that I usually forget it! By the way, won't you be referring to sentences like this one: "It was summer in the south hemisphere by then and in that land full of craters it had been brewing a planetary storm."
By the way, this a translated text from my original in spanish, so those "unusual ways" sure come from mistakes on my part while translating.Oct 11, 2016
- HiI assumed you were translating. That's why I suggested the read-aloud strategy.
In my experience most people using English as a second language have a better grasp of the spoken language than the written, so hearing it you will get what needs to be changed.
English is my second language too.Oct 13, 2016
- Hello again. I went through the text again and made just a few corrections, but I don't want to change it too much now. In the next saturdayscenes I'll link another translated short, we'll see if I've improved a bit in there.
Thanks for showing interest in my work.Oct 13, 2016
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