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This is the sort of thing I used to pore over for hours. Now I can get you to do it for me!

Here's a list of 140,000 codes used by US medical insurers to catalogue the various conditions they might be presented with.

There are already nine involving some sort of altercation with a turtle. Find the best ones.
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This sequence sounds like it ought to start "a chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says "we're closed, have you tried the place across the street?"

Struck by chicken, initial encounter
Struck by chicken, subsequent encounter
Struck by chicken, sequela
Pecked by chicken, initial encounter
Pecked by chicken, subsequent encounter
Pecked by chicken, sequela
Other contact with chicken, initial encounter
Other contact with chicken, subsequent encounter
Other contact with chicken, sequela
Chicken coop as the place of occurrence of the external cause
I can't believe there are 264 codes for insect bites. I wonder what costs more - treatment for an insect bite on the scalp, right shoulder or left index finder.
Agreed. But there are 33 different categories of injury concerning a balloon, three for injuries caused by a rubber band and three for paper cuts. What more do you want?

I now understand why I've seen US job ads for health codifiers. Must be big business. Ah! So that's how 'Call me Dave' Cameron intends to reduce unemployment after he privatises our NHS!
I don't think the codes are descriptive enough. For instance, did the turtle strike the victim under its own power, or did a third party use the turtle as a weapon? Was the turtle thrown or otherwise propelled? Did it strike the victim directly, or did it ricochet first. They could do away with 90% of those codes by having a blanket code for "victim was a dumb-ass."

My personal favorite:V9107XA, Burn due to water-skis on fire. The mind wobbles...
+Erin Hill-Burns said "I can't believe there are 264 codes for insect bites. I wonder what costs more - treatment for an insect bite on the scalp, right shoulder or left index finder."

Or the cost of paying someone to codify them?
Ed Yong
+Scott Troxel Or "victim was struck by a dumbass" with attendant codes for body part and timing of encounter
Ed Yong
Like +Matt Novak I'm a bit disappointed. I tried all the obvious stuff - Velociraptors, zombies, ninjas. Nothing. LAME
Y92013 Bedroom of single-family (private) house as the place of occurrence of the external cause

W5652XA Struck by other fish, initial encounter

V9543XA Spacecraft collision injuring occupant, initial encounter.

See for many more close encounters!
If you're labeled as having been "struck by a duck" I would suppose your physician is Dr. Seuss.
Does "struck by a bird" include being crapped on?
When I lived in Indonesia I almost died after stepping on a sea snake, one of the most venomous snakes in the world. I wanted to see how they'd categorize that. This is the closest I could find:

Toxic effect of venom of other African and Asian snake, accidental (unintentional), initial encounter

But. I saw this:
Toxic effect of venom of other African and Asian snake, intentional self-harm, initial encounter

intentional self-harm? with a snake?
Bitten by dolphin, sequela
Bitten by orca, subsequent encounter
My urologist friend could add a few things to this list. The stuff he's (ahem) come across... boy. Oddly, they're not on this list.
Why exactly did they need 18,000 codes, and why was it mandated to >>expand<< the list?? I can't for the life of me understand how that is good management of the healthcare system.
This is fantastic, I've always wondered about things like this. Thank you for sharing!
So, there's "V9107XA, Burn due to water-skis on fire," but when I search for bicycle-related stuff, all they could come up with is an exploding bicycle tire! So, yes, most definitely incomplete.
As a medical worker, I know that it's this kind of ridiculous paper work that makes medical care take longer and cost more. Notice the location of the codes...They come from Medicare/Medicaid...i.e., Government. When the government gets involved in a process, it becomes less efficient, and more costly.
How do you even start to set fire to your hang glider once, let alone twice?

V9614XD Hang-glider fire injuring occupant, subsequent encounter
A subsequent encounter is a follow-up visit to the doctor, since being burned by your hang glider takes more than one visit to fix.
Hee hee, was a rhetorical Q but ta for the answer!
Yes, actually, I thought it was a pretty funny take on the "subsequent encounter" thing. :-)
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