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Dr Constance DelGiudice Counseling & Coaching
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About
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Subscribe to my newsletter at drconstancedelgiudice.com for more great information about transforming your life, removing obstacles, and creating happiness.

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Feeling some anxiety or low-grade depression - Try this:

Suppressing uncomfortable feelings doesn’t work!

Studies show that people who suppress emotions actually increase the emotion they are trying to suppress.  As a result… you actually can make yourself feel more depressed, anxious, or sad.

Guess what? Dopamine, a feel-good chemical, involved in pleasure isn’t hard to boost. Studies suggest that listening to music sends a signal to your brain to release dopamine…that feel good chemical. Even thinking about music releases dopamine.

So instead of suppressing unwanted uncomfortable feelings, transform them with some music.
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The Pursuit of Happiness: Where Does It Come From and How Can I Get More?

Happiness - it’s something some people spend their whole lives chasing, bouncing from job to job, relationship to relationship, house to house, city to city. “If I can just get to ___,” they think, “I’ll finally be happy.” However, such people often find out that no matter what the “next thing” is, they are no happier than before. 

But what if we’ve been looking at happiness all wrong? Recent studies have revealed that although personal income in the United States has more than doubled in the last 50 years, people are no happier now than they were back then. In fact, only 10% of our overall happiness can be attributed to external sources like one’s job, relationship status, home size, children, etc. If you think about it, this makes sense - so many of the things that happen to us are simply out of our control, so why should we expect happiness to come from those facets of our lives?

So what about the other 90%? Where does most of our happiness originate? The answer is that the biggest source of one’s happiness is actually one’s own mind. In fact, the relatively new field of positive psychology was established to study this exact theory. The research is fascinating. 

For example, picture your morning commute to work. Whether you use public transportation, drive yourself, or even walk, it is likely that on at least one occasion, a fellow commuter has done something to irritate you. Perhaps the person sitting next to you on the subway took up more than their fair share of the seat, or maybe someone cut you off in traffic. In such situations, you get to choose how to react - whether the experience ruins your entire morning, your entire workday, or just those few minutes while you’re near them. If you chose to stew and fume, your workday would likely be tainted by the unhappiness you brought with you to the workplace.

Instead, positive psychology argues, happiness is a distinct and individual choice. How you respond to stress, anxiety, annoyances, etc. has a profound effect on your overall wellbeing. By practicing happiness techniques such as mindfulness, gratitude, forgiveness, generosity, and positivity, your focus turns away from yourself and your own needs and onto the needs and dreams of others. You may not be able to control everything that comes into your life, but you do have the power to determine what you send back out into the world. 

How can these positive psychology principles have a positive effect on your life? First and foremost, you can choose to live out these ideas and get a trusted friend or counseling professional to encourage you and hold you accountable for your choices.  You do not have to be held in bondage to negativity, distrust, and fear. Indeed, all of the tools you need to be happy are inside of you just waiting to be used.

There’s a quote from newspaper columnist Dr. Frank Crane that sums it up best: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Life, in all of its beauty and messiness and frustration, happens to everyone, but we each have the choice to decide on a daily basis whether or not to embrace the happiness that is within us all. 

The next time you have an unpleasant experience, what will your choice be?


Terms of Use: This article is for informational and educational purposes only. The contents may seem light hearted in nature and in no means meant to downplay the significance of real depression, anxiety, etc. Anyone suffering from any of these conditions should not substitute these contents for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 
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The pursuit of happiness…is it even attainable? 
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Manage obstacles to create happiness! Ultimately, we want to be happy, content, and succeed. Counseling can help you!

Are you struggling with an issue negatively impacting your life or ruining your relationship(s)? Are you tired of dealing with it over and over? Finally, you want to be free of it. The obstacle doesn't seem to be going away. You're thinking, "I can't resolve this? It shouldn't be hard!"

To help you to be free from obstacles, I use best practice interventions and techniques for individuals, couples, families, and communities.

I'm Dr. Constance DelGiudice, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Doctor of Education in Counseling Psychology, and a Board Certified Sex Therapist. I practice in areas I'm confident! My skills enable me to simplify complex strategies so that you can focus on what matters!

My specialties are individual counseling, relationship counseling & sex therapy! I have knowledge, experience, and success with children & families, individual counseling to help you be free from obstacles, trauma counseling to help you ward off painful mental, emotional, and physical aliments preventing you from being happy, and sex therapy to  help you enjoy your sex life!

drconstancedelgiudice.com           
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Stop Intrusive Sabotaging Self-Talk 

Is your mind having a party you don’t want to attend? Is it insisting you do which ultimately gets you off task?

We’ve all gone to a bad party where there is gossiping, people looking at you weirdly, and just a bad scene.  You know the kind...  Sometimes it could seem like your mind is having a bad party and it’s insisting on inviting you. Next thing you know you’re off task. 

This mind party can contribute to unwanted anxiety and self sabotaging behaviors that ultimately get your off task. The conversations might be saying: you should be doing this or that, what are you doing being happy, you’re not good enough, etc.). You know all that chitchat that you just wish would stop. 

Three tips to end the party and turn down the invitation: 

1. Awareness: Notice the chitchat in your mind. Don’t make judgments about anything that is going on or being said. If you make any judgments and engage, you just accepted an invitation to the party. You also heighten anxiety and get off task.

Realize that your mind is built to survive, so it is constantly looking for answers and filling in gaps. You don’t have to believe your mind’s chitchat.

2. Re-Engage: Go back to what you were doing, but do it fully. Being fully and deeply engaged through your senses can be a beautiful and rewarding experience.  Smells come alive, colors become more vibrant, textures are soothing, you’re more attentive to listening, and positive sensations are increased. Unwanted anxiety, shallow focusing, unwanted redirection, and negative sensations decrease.

3. Gratefulness: Bring the feeling of gratefulness to the moment, realizing we are fully complete in this moment. This moment is a gift! There is nothing on the outside that can complete you.   
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