Yesterday my son did something remarkable: he advocated for himself. He told my I was using 'bad parenting' and it hurt his feelings. He was right.
When he told me he couldn't find his wallet (with ALL his ID, SS, credit card, etc.), I lost it. I worry constantly that he will become lost himself, or not be able to do things independently. So when he said he thought it might be in my car, I didn't listen. Instead I made him search with me through all his clothing, all over his new 'apartment', becoming more and more agitated and raising my voice.
When I finally yelled at him to get my keys and check the car, he looked at me and said. 'You are using bad parenting skills and it hurts my feelings.' Stopped me dead in my tracks. I was stunned that he was able to tell me that - and that I was out of control. I apologized and told him I'd try not to do that again. He then found his wallet in the car door, just as he'd told me 20 min earlier.
Why didn't I listen and trust him? Because it didn't seem likely - and because he is vague when he answers questions. I have many lessons still to learn. I'm trying to let go and trust. Thank you, Gabriel. I'm SO PROUD of you! (And thank you +Tim Villegas
for reminding me Gabriel needs to learn more self-advocating skills)