When I was overweight, I looked like a chubby, homely female, but I didn't feel fat. I didn't have a belly or a double chin or rolls or anything like that. I just felt chubby, and it wasn't really something that bothered me all that much. I didn't care or think about it too often.
Well, now, after having lost all of this weight, knowing that I have lost this much weight, knowing that I am in an average weight range, I find myself feeling fat and disgustingly so. This is the way the mind works when we start setting expectations and challenging ourselves. We can no longer feel content until reaching our goals.
And so, the years I spent as an overweight adult were of no significance, except I did feel embarrassed that I wasn't lean anymore, which made me avoid situations where I could run into anyone from my past, but now, as a person of average-weight, I find myself noticing the soft areas and fleshiness, wishing it all to disappear, to be just meat and bone. I didn't feel fat at over 200 pounds, but I feel fat in the 150's. Go figure.
And without further ado:
1 - Continue weight loss & improving fitness until reaching goal.
2 - Work on stabilizing personal finances.
3 - Finish the Ruby on Rails studies & projects I have outlined.
4 - Maintain a blog on my web development progress.
5 - Attend web development meetings and/or conferences.
6 - Visit people and take those opportunities to polish social skills.
7 - Start mapping out plans for beginning my own company.
8 - Enjoy more time outside in good weather, away from my laptop.
9 - Modify my diet to better suit my long-term lifestyle.
10 - Clear out the clutter in my life by minimizing material goods.
11 - Set aside time semi-regularly to work on artistic projects.
12 - Move away to a new city and try to transition into adulthood.
Because there are 12 months in a year, I created 12 resolutions that I have to achieve by 2015. I believe these resolutions are much more sound than those I've made in the past, which were mostly project or activity oriented and heavily influenced by finances.
I did have 2014 all mapped out, but things change quickly, creating ripples and altering circumstances. As life is in constant motion, you have to be flexible in your plans and adjust accordingly when necessary... AND eat when you are hungry, which I am--so I will. I want you cheesecake, but I'll settle for sauteed veggies and keep on track with resolution number one.
Patellar Tracking Disorder
I think that my injury a few months ago just made the problem worse. I used to be able to squat (bending my knees in over 90 degrees to hold my weight), but this isn't possible anymore without my knee shifting out of place, locking, and yanking, which can result in being unable to place any weight on the leg in order to walk or move between a bent and straightened knee without excruciating pain even though it always pops back into place when dislocated.
This is going to be a problem for which I'll need to find a workaround because it will impact my plans to train in kung fu if my full range of motion is impeded. I already have a gimp arm. Maybe it needs more than a few months to heal. Perhaps the problem will resolve itself within a year if I'm just patient and continue my exercises. Two months may just not have been long enough. I was very active in sports growing up, so I should expect some repercussions, but I'll never go under the knife to correct any problems. I feel like a baby giraffe.
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an eco/techie/arthouse geek that spouts random absurdities with an absence of coherent thought.
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