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Derek Kessler
Works at Mobile Nations
Attended University of Cincinnati
Lives in Cincinnati, Ohio
1,088 followers|409,383 views
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Derek Kessler

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This is dumb. But hammer test videos are dumber.

Don't hit a fully-charged Li-ion battery with a hammer, kids.
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Derek Kessler

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“Is that a smartphone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Well, there is wood in my pants..."
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Derek Kessler

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I remember when we used to call this “the jet stream dipping south” and “a low pressure system.” I think it was last year.

But I get it, "polar vortex" is just so much more intense-sounding and marketable. Which is a bizarre way to be thinking about a meteorological phenomenon. It really says a lot about how well the media is able to tailor their headlines these days to capture the maximum number of eyeballs with minimum effort. Repackage the same old ho-hum content — it is cold and snowing, it is winter, in case you hadn't noticed — into something provocative and flashy with a catchy name and more than a hint of danger and push it 'round the clock into our faces.

It's the weather. It gets cold every winter. It snows too. This year is exceptionally cold and snowy so far, yes. But that's happened before too. Can we talk about problems more real than "it's cold outside in a country where we have insulated homes with central heating systems", please?
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While I agree, I did actually Google "polar vortex," and it turns out a polar vortex is an actual scientific thing. It usually sits over one of the poles is what I read.
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Derek Kessler

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Today my home internet through Time Warner Cable dropped to approximately 1/15th the speeds I've been paying for and was previously getting.

After calling and getting routed up to their "level three technicians" (as happens every time I call, which seems like every few months), I was informed that they are seeing node issues in my area, and that Time Warner in southwest Ohio is "swamped" with said node issues and my ticket may not be gotten to overnight. No definite estimate of when it might be fixed.

"Okay," I say. "Can I get a rough timeline, at least?"

"A week, maybe more."

That instant would be only the second time in my life where I have lost my with a complete stranger (the first being the unauthorized roof repairs while I was out of town a year ago). Told the tech point-blank that if I had any other viable option, I would have switched away from Time Warner long ago, because the quality of service I'm getting for what I'm paying is not sufficient. I was offered a credit for the month's service, which is a nice token, but doesn't quite make up for the inconvenience.

I work online, from home. My livelihood depends on my being able to upload and download large files on a frequent basis. If that week estimate holds true, I might find myself working from the local Starbucks... which I've just remembered has Time Warner service as well.

What pains me most about this is that at my apartment three years ago and three miles away I had amazing fiber optics service that cost less than what I'm paying now, provided by Cincinnati Bell. They presently offer their Fioptics service to ~200,000 homes throughout the Cincinnati metro area, but not in my neighborhood.

My choice is Time Warner Cable or DSL. Oh, I would kill for even a modicum of competition to disrupt the stranglehold of the cable oligopoly.
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Thats what they say and if u have any internet issues you go to Manilla not that it us bad. But they follow a protocol and if you ask a question not on their memorized list no solution. Thankful lulu i don't have them now . I just have 1 device on ATT and it is miserable with no 4G. i lost DFH Satellite service when I had time warner and Brandon unknown dude was on my Iphone 5 & had put his answering machine on that was last year February . The tech that came here for Satellite said it shows as if your are in an airport hence i have interference mostly vector SE 105 gayle 131-126-141 Alyssa then it will switch come from 115 & 125 Gayle starting from NE 590 sue. Crt 128 Gayle -146 Alyssa i know this is a lot to digest but. 37 months of this. When I am not here everything works perfectly even on highways sorry for the long explanation
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Derek Kessler

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"The numbers make it look like an epidemic. Well, it's not. It's preposterous. This is a concoction to justify the giving out of medication at unprecedented and unjustifiable levels."
- Dr. Keith Conners, the man who fought to legitimize ADHD.

After reading this article (it's a long one), I felt the need to say "thank you" to my parents and educators for not bowing to what I sure must have been at least occasionally intermittent pressure to medicate me in some way to tame my more unique tendencies. I know I wasn't the easiest child to deal with, but I appreciate that they put up with and even embraced and fed my deviations from the expected norms instead of trying to tamp down what makes me, well, me.

So, thank you.

Also, this article is an eye-opening and frightening look into the way the companies behind Ritalin, Adderall, and other attention-deficit medications have altered our perception of mental disorder, what is considered to be "normal" (what kid do you know that hasn't made careless mistakes or needed to be told multiple times to clean up after themselves?), and our societal understanding of the progression of ADHD into adulthood.
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tl;dr

(See what I did there?)
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Have him in circles
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Derek Kessler

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Today, for the first time in over 12 years, every unit of the Ohio National Guard is home.
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Derek Kessler

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Dear Google Now, that is not the spelling of 'come' I had in mind.
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+Chad Cluver it's true, it does. 😲
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Derek Kessler

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Little League coach sues 14-year-old player for $500,000 after a helmet thrown in victory leads to an ankle injury. What a dick.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2014/01/15/22317929-california-little-leaguer-sued-by-own-coach-for-carelessly-celebrating?lite
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America, Land of Free and home of the sue happy.
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With the way Ohio State played tonight they didn't deserve to go to the BCS Championship. If they played in the championship game the way they played last week and this week, FSU would absolutely and utterly dismantle them.

Auburn vs. FSU is going to be a good game. The better game.
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You are so right.
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Derek Kessler

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What would really happen if Superman and Batman tried to team up: Batman and Superman Team Up
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People
Have him in circles
1,088 people
Ally Kazmucha's profile photo
Work
Occupation
Technology Journalist, Administrator, Musician, Soldier
Employment
  • Mobile Nations
    Managing Editor, 2013 - present
  • Ohio Army National Guard
    SPC 42R, 2003 - present
  • webOS Nation
    Editor-in-Chief, 2009 - present
  • TrekUnited.com
    Editor-in-Chief and Chief Forum Manager, 2004 - 2009
  • Colonial Music
    Sales, 2001 - 2006
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Cincinnati, Ohio
Previously
Mount Vernon, Ohio - Columbus, Ohio
Links
Contributor to
Story
Tagline
Managing Editor of Mobile Nations, 122nd Army Band SGT, Star Trek fan fiction writer, graphic design nerd, armchair political pundit, and professional ranter.
Introduction
So, about me... I'm Derek, and I'm here to help.

To say I'm a jack of all trades would be true, though some have gone so far as to say that I'm a modern-day renaissance man, which is of course a slight exaggeration. I have lots of interests, that's all, and it just so happens that my mind is a steel trap. A very selective and rusty one, but a steel trap nonetheless.

So what does Derek do? Apart from working with the Ohio Army National Guard, he's also Managing Editor of Mobile Nations.

Apart from those things that I do professionally, I'm also a musician of the classical variety, Star Trek fan fiction author, tech guru, and a general all-around slightly pompous know-it-all. It's kinda crazy.
Education
  • University of Cincinnati
  • Ohio State University
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Birthday
October 10
Other names
Highlander