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Deon Binneman - Counsellor
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We often do not have time (or energy) left for our relationships in our busy schedules. See the December break as an opportunity to invest in your relationship! Make sure you keep your relationship in focus. Do not spoil the opportunity with arguments about nothing - when you notice your emotional temperature rising, take a few deep breaths to interrupt your body’s fight-or-flight mode. Stop talking and ask yourself, “Is this going to lead where I want it to?” Remind your partner that you are focusing on the relationship and decide what are you going to do about different opinions. To speak to a relationship counsellor, like Deon, about issues you are experiencing, go to http://bit.ly/2xKXDKW.
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Research suggests that people often drink to cope with unpleasant and negative emotions. They use alcohol to manage their anxiety, for example. Alcohol is a depressant and the positive feelings you experience (being calmer, more relaxed, more outgoing) is due to the suppression of negative emotions. It is good to remember that alcohol is an addictive drug and if it is (initially) effective in affecting your mood or behaviour in a positive way, it can easily become dangerous. Please ask yourself again, what would responsible alcohol use look like for you? To talk to a professional, like Deon Binneman, visit http://bit.ly/2iDdqSU.
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• Know yourself. This refers to your sense of knowing your own perspective, thoughts, values, feelings, and desires. It also refers to articulating your thoughts and emotional needs in a way that is congruent, exposing who you truly are.
• Realise that you and your partner are two unique individuals. You are separate and different. Building on this, one can cultivate the ability to listen, hear, and respond effectively to differences.
• Focus on your relationship and create an environment that supports desired changes.
If you would like to speak to an expert, such as Deon Binneman, about your relationship, feel free to make an appointment via http://bit.ly/2zypfzu.
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If we respect the fact that we are different, we must expect that we will have different perspectives on many things. Do not take your perspective as “the truth,” as it is just true for yourself. Do not try to convince your partner of our opining by arguing that your point is right. If you fight because you disagree about something, you will miss the opportunity for open conversation that could lead to a better understanding, respect and connection. To see a professional, such as Deon Binneman, about any communication problems in your relationship, visit http://bit.ly/2xKXDKW.
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Never forget that you and your partner are two unique individuals. You use words to communicate with the other person, to tell them what you think, wish or need. Often, we miscommunicate because the meaning that is attached to your words, is not the same as what you intended. Active listening can immediately improve your communication. Pay attention and reflect, paraphrase what you heard your partner say, and then allow your partner to correct, rephrasing again, to help you to understand better. By accepting your partner’s correction, you will learn to communicate more effectively. Deon Binneman offers professional relationship counselling that may help you and your partner to communicate better. See http://bit.ly/2xKXDKW for more.
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Can an old dog learn new tricks? Can we change once we are adults? Research has shown that the human brain is capable of change throughout life. We are not guaranteed vibrant, flexible brains as we age - a lot depends on how we live our lives! The adult brain needs oxygen and stimulation to stay sharp and capable of change. Researchers have identified the following three habits as facilitating neuroplasticity as we age: physical exercise (which increases blood flow to the brain, delivering much-needed oxygen), paying attention, and learning new things. If you want to change, start by doing these three things. Get up, go out, and do something new! To speak to a professional counsellor, such as Deon Binneman, see http://bit.ly/2yK7W0Z.
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I often hear one person in a relationship complaining that their partner constantly lies to him or her. Often, it is not a case of lying, but one of not telling, of not being open about something. Often, this is a way of trying to avoid conflict in a relationship. If you feel that your partner is not being open about certain things, ask yourself whether your reaction is conducive to having a positive conversation about your (possibly) different points of view. See how Deon can guide you in restoring communication by visiting http://bit.ly/2xKXDKW.
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I would say that it takes constant focus - constant focus on yourself and not on what you want or need, or having it your way, but a constant focus on your relationship. It takes constant focus on what is best for the relationship, on the needs of the relationship. We all tend to lose focus on our relationships from time to time and therefore a constant refocus is of the utmost importance to ensure “happily ever after”. To assist you in refocusing on your relationship’s needs, why not visit a professional therapist such as Deon Binneman? More details at http://bit.ly/2fvfg6P.
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• Controlling behaviour: controlling whom their partner can see, when and where they can go, etc.
• Excessive jealousy: unwarranted displays of jealousy. Trust is an important component of any healthy relationship!
• Extreme displays of anger: if your partner is unable to control their anger, the negative impact on the relationship can be serious.
• Emotional blackmail: if your partner threatens to withhold affection and/or intimacy whenever you have a disagreement, it can be detrimental.
• Any type of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse: Abusive acts of any kind are unacceptable in a relationship.
• Substance abuse: A partner’s struggle with drinking or drug use, can be detrimental to any relationship.
For expert guidance and relationship advice, get in touch with a trusted therapist near you, or call Deon on 021 975 9936 to make an appointment today.
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It is possible to build a more honest, healthier and happier relationship after an affair. All it takes, is two people committed to staying in the relationship, staying strong and working on it together. Keep holding on to the vision that you’ll both get through it, no matter how difficult it seems. The sooner you come to grips with the fact that the road back from distrust to trust takes perseverance, patience, commitment and time, the more likely you are to be successful at healing your relationship. Reach out to a therapist in your area or contact Deon Binneman for professional couples counselling. More information at http://bit.ly/2xKXDKW.
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