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David Raffin
Works at DavidRaffin.com
Attended Evergreen State College
Lives in Seattle
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David Raffin

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Hedonism. Make America eat grapes in a sensual manner again.
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David Raffin

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The bear ate a pear You think, how debonair But she wanted the eclair Which was already eaten in a picnick-error By a picnicker who was an au pair But tasted like an upholstered chair So the bear followed up by eating a pear And slept that night without a…
The bear ate a pear You think, how debonair But she wanted the eclair Which was already eaten in a picnick-error By a picnicker who was an au pair But tasted like an upholstered chair So the bear f…
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If, when you dream, you control your dreams; do you control your dreams or are you only dreaming you control them? 
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Now that Britain will not be overseen by the larger European Union, does this mean they will begin trying to colonize everywhere again?I mainly ask because I wonder how this will affect the availability and price of marmite worldwide.  Not to mention that…
Now that Britain will not be overseen by the larger European Union, does this mean they will begin trying to colonize everywhere again?I mainly ask because I wonder how this will affect the availab…
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David Raffin

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When my heart was broken it was replaced with a lump of soft metal
Which all went swimmingly
Until I realized that in water I would sink
And on an airplane my heart was too heavy for it to take off
But other than that it was fine.
– A poem for when people ask me how I am. 
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Compossible: possible in combination with something else. 
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Heart broken? Replace it with a subway token.
It seems a really good deal
But soon cold reality will reveal
Tokens aren't even used anymore
Now you have to lie supine on the floor.
But as an experience it's very revealing
For you get to look hard at the ceiling.
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So. There is a graphic image going around called "ruin a first date in 4 words."

But I can do it in one word. And did last month. With some set up.
"So, where did you grow up?"
"Generic rural Town X"
"So what's that place known for?"
"Methamphetamines."

That is from my new work "how to sabotage yourself with Black humor."
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That's because the correct answer is 'copper theft'...
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I like to do math It puts me back On that evil left handed path For what is math That Wicked art Which reduces all to that Numeric flow chart It sets one and one apart Ripped from each other With a cold math heart And joins together randoms Thereby forced…
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If you are not a good adult you were unadulterated.
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And throw rocks at the sea
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Story
Tagline
Metaphysicist, Writer, Performer http://davidraffin.com
Introduction
Nothing bad has ever happened to me on Friday the 13th. Except for that one time at camp. 
... That was an anomaly.

The Northwest Examiner called me "A cross between Garrison Keillor and Salvador Dali." 

I'm a contributor to Funny Times, Rosebud magazine, and various other publications and anthologies.

I published a satirical journal, Vision? Nary!, which was reviewed positively by MaximumRock'n'Roll and the Joe Bob Report, newsletter of drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs.

The Daily News:
 "David Raffin is hilarious." 

Peter Bacho (Author of "Cebu" "Dark Blue Suit") says of his writing: "Intelligent, humorous, and highly imaginative– always a pleasure to read."

The Daily Olympian:
"He’s not your average comedian."

Larry Ziak, KMUN:
"I nearly choked on my breakfast from laughing so hard."

Jodi Lamm (Author of “Titan Magic”):
"His perversions are oddly analytical." 


http://davidraffin.com


http://vision-nary.com

Bragging rights
I am evolved from a monkey. I think that's pretty impressive. I put it on my resume. My resume is very long. It is quite a tale.
Education
  • Evergreen State College
    Metaphysics, Writing, Film, 2000
Basic Information
Gender
Male
Work
Occupation
Writer, Raconteur, hedonist, heretic, Metaphysicist
Employment
  • DavidRaffin.com
    Writer, Humorist, Metaphysicist, 2009 - present
  • Blissful Remembrances
    Documentarian, 2005 - 2013
Places
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Currently
Seattle
Previously
Antarctica - Portland
David Raffin's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
Delegates to the Democratic National Convention, Switch your vote to Ber...
switchtobernie.com

We, the undersigned, respectfully request the delegates and superdelegates of the Democratic National Convention to vote for Bernie Sanders

Tell the FCC: Protect the Open Internet
www.sanders.senate.gov

Tell the FCC to protect the open Internet, not undermine net neutrality.

Fast Food Workers Walk Out In Seattle, Protesting Wages
www.kuow.org

Fast food workers have begun striking in Seattle this morning. According to organizers, strike lines will take place at several coffee spots

Minty Rosa
mintyrosa.bandcamp.com

Minty Rosa is a post-punk band polished with a dark heaviness: alt-rock with a touch of abrasion. They meet the tough cool of the Ronettes w

Tiny House, Big Heart
www.indiegogo.com

Help Kim Langston rebuild her tiny house which burned to the ground in a mysterious fire last summer.

Billy Bragg: Legendary British Rocker On Norway Attacks, Activism & ...
www.democracynow.org

We spend the hour with legendary British rocker and activist, Billy Bragg. His music career began in the late 1970s in London when he formed

Chalk up the Sidewalk, Go to Jail
www.motherjones.com

MAP: Across the nation, police are arresting adults and even citing kids for temporary drawings.

"Penny's Farm" performed by Pete Seeger
soundcloud.com

Available April 17, 2012, this album will be the earliest complete Pete Seeger concert available, and only complete concert from his influen

Discovering The Mysteries Of Rice Krispyhenge : NPR
www.npr.org

A gummy bearskin rug, you say? Graphic designer Brock Davis plays with food, but not like the rest of us.

Jodi Lamm
www.goodreads.com

Jodi Lamm is the author of Titan Magic (0.0 avg rating, 0 ratings, 0 reviews, published 2011)