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David Dietle
Works at CAMP Systems
Attended Afcent High School
Lives in Southern NH
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David Dietle

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I love Michio Kaku. His enthusiasm is infectious. I am really hoping this is not the case in my daughter's school system and it likely is not; our town's high school has a robotics program and the junior high and high school share the same building.

I suppose my daughter has a slight advantage over other kids in that A) her parents spend a ton of time with her and B) I am getting close to my forties and my desire to learn is on par with a 5 year old, so we learn things together.

The good news is that it appears to be a trend that bullying is becoming less common since schools are less tolerant of it these days and things like computer science are becoming more common in higher grades. My daughter's school has iPads that travel around the school so kids can use learnign games, and it is amazing how fluent kindergartners up to 4th graders, even kids who don't have them at home, are with them.

I love the idea that every kid is untapped potential and that we are getting a better understanding of how to make sure they all get to utilize it. If we could ensure that just 1 full generation of kids received the proper education, we could watch a lot of the hardship in this world start to disappear.
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David Dietle

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I love me some Trent Reznor. Although I am a bass player, and I have been influenced a great deal by other bass players, Trent Reznor is easily the biggest influence I have ever had in music. I took music theory in high school because I wanted to write film scores. Mostly because I like composing (it's just another form of writing)

This is just awesome. NIN is probably the best argument I could give anyone for giving their kid piano lessons. I forget that Dave Grohl started out as a drummer and is pretty awesome himself.

Anyway, this is almost 8 minutes long and worth the watch, it's an instrumental, just drums, keyboards and bass.
 

Music created for the film, Sound City
(Nine Inch Fighters of the Stone Age)
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David Dietle

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On a lighter note, here is an example of 40+ hours worth of research boiled down into 2000 words, outlining why I love a horribly misunderstood bird.

It ran 2 years ago today.
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David Dietle

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I am performing a writing experiment. Over on my website (http://zombiechops.com/, just a dumping ground for fiction and random articles I feel like writing) I set up a wiki. I have for years kept random databases and spreadsheets (not to mention reams of notebooks) to catalog every random idea I've had for fictional universes, both those I am actively writing for and those that I just thought would be a fun idea for maybe a game setting.

After over a decade of compiling these things, I've finally found that the MediaWiki format is perfect for this exact thing; I can organize my thoughts, write back-story for absolutely anything I come up with, and can present it in a way that not only makes it easy to reference, but allows me to put my creativity out there for others to view and not have to rely simply on telling a full story.

One of my favorite aspects of pen & paper role playing games was getting the resource books and just reading the details of the world hey had made up without having to commit to following a narrative. That's exactly what I am doing here, creating worlds and fleshing them out, but not having to focus on plot or character development. Don't get me wrong, that is part of the fun of writing, but there is something freeing about writing in a nonfiction style about my own fictional creations.

Right now it's mostly a collection of headings that I inserted using a script, but I am now into the phase where I am actually adding content to all of the (1000+) entries, as well as adding new ones. This will continue to grow as time goes on, and I hope to have some sort of text for every entry at some point. The universes span everything from cyberpunk, to post apocalyptic, sci-fi-fantasy, to straight fantasy.

Please, if interested, read as much as you like, and I am open to any and all feedback. If there is an entry that sounds interesting but is empty, let me know and I will try to move it up on the list. This is both for me to keep my thoughts together in one easy to access spot, but also to get feedback and hopefully entertain people in the process.
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David Dietle

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I learned some awful, awful things writing this. Appropriately enough, I came up with the idea when I nearly killed myself sneezing. It turns out that the human body has lots of quirks that can cause it to assault itself horribly.

The scariest one? Improper handling of one's facial blemishes can lead to a brain infection. 

Also, I said it in the article and I'll say it here; Do Not GIS "rectal prolapse". Your brain will hate you until the end of days.
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David Dietle

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Seth McFarlane shared this on Twitter and it's a good read so I figured I'd share it here, too. As someone who has been writing comedy for a few years now, I have long subscribed to the Parker/Stone view of comedy; it's either all okay or none of it is. Comedy is and always has been a mirror for society, one with a bright, often rude light that shows off the blemishes, rosacea and acne scars our culture has and forces you to either laugh at it or get pissed that someone stuck it in your face.

For my own work, I've done an entire article on Alien Rape:
http://www.cracked.com/article_18932_alien-film-franchise-based-entirely-rape.html

And have called cultures "retarded" for needlessly killing endangered species for ridiculous reasons:
http://www.cracked.com/article_17504_6-species-weve-nearly-killed-off-for-retarded-reasons.html

I have suffered my share of hate mail and angry comments over them (and worse for even more ridiculous articles) but at the end of the day, it entertained and educated some people. Most who read them, I would argue.

I also got more than a few "rape isn't funny" messages from people who clearly never actually read that article, but instead saw the title and assumed I was making pop-culture Daniel Tosh jokes. And I bring him up because there is a "line" of sorts, and here it is; if you're going to go "out there" and make a joke on a subject you know is going to get people riled up, you'd better make damn sure you're being funny.

South Park has made some horrific jokes in its many seasons, and every last one of them made me laugh, because I knew there were people out there watching the show and screaming in rage at their TV that they would dare to make fun of such a thing (pick your poison; pedophiles, Catholic corruption, rape, murder, the President, PETA).

Here's the thing, even with truly awful jokes (Like Daniel Tosh's. Seriously, an improvisational prodigy he is not) comedy often forces people into discussion. "Can you believe he joked about that?" How many conversations about serious issues have been brought up as a result of an off color joke? I have no statistics but I am going to guess more than a few. Conversation is a doormat for the doorway of action. If you ignore a problem, it never goes away. if you are forced to confront it, you're uncomfortable for a while, but once it's resolved, everyone can breathe easier.

So the next time someone tells a joke, or does a sketch, or stupid song, etc and you are offended by it, ask why. Did the joke actually harm something, or did it bring up a subject you'd rather not acknowledge?

Another thing to keep in mind is that comedy is an outlet. It's not a myth that the funniest people are the most messed up. Most comedy comes from irony or absurd non sequiturs; people with problems have experiences loaded with these things.

At any rate, just some food for thought. It's easy for me to not be offended by, well, anything, since I'm a white american guy.
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I think +Ray Martin and +Lex Larson nailed something I missed originally, in that making fun of the victims isn't comedy. I'll bow out of any debate over the Oscars, I avoided them like the plague despite generally liking McFarlane, but I never watch them anyway.

Again, the South Park example is a pretty good one, they have made fun of rape, every religion there is, child molestation, etc, but they never made fun of rape victims, or the victims of molestation, etc. In my own example, while I wrote an article about the Alien movies being about rape and rape imagery, I never made fun of any victims, nor pretended that there is anything at all funny about the subject. The funny part was that this entire movie franchise existed because a screenwriter decided to make men uncomfortable. In Tosh's case, he seems to generally think women are idiots, and his "joke" was saying it would be hilarious if a woman was being gang raped right there. It's the Chris Rock/Micheal Richards dichotomy. (I am aware I just favorably compared myself to Chris Rock, but in my defense, I'm a bit of a narcissist)

And as I originally mentioned, my compass on this whole thing is devoid of any buttons to be pushed to get my blood boiling. I'm a middle class white american guy, I've never been on the receiving end of any kind of discrimination and I have literally every opportunity laid out in front of me, so take it with a grain of salt.  Lex's response was a slap in the face mostly because she pointed out something I was aware of but didn't remember because it's not something I have to deal with. My biggest mistake, I think anyway, was making a rough generalization and sweeping statement about something that is completely subjective.
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David Dietle

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Congress... I'm afraid we're going to have to have a talk, could you come to my office? we've been monitoring your performance and I have to say, we're very disappointed in your inability to do your job. At all. "Well" would be great, but you're doing it so poorly we just assume you aren't working.

I wish I could fire you, but nepotism prevents it. So you'll be taking a 9% cut in funding.
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Please tell that to Obama the chicken little of politics the sky is falling the sky is falling, lol
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David Dietle

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Very eye-opening, but made me sick to my stomach. This is interesting and incredibly sad.
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David Dietle

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This is no less ridiculous than what Creationists believe. No wait, I think this makes more sense, somehow.
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Can't argue with you, it at least gets some of the concepts right. Or words. It has a dog, which is better than creationism. And a soft fake English accent.
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David Dietle

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Milky Way’s Most Earth-Like Planet Discovered In Star’s Habitable Zone

;)
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Work
Occupation
Programmer and Writer
Employment
  • CAMP Systems
    Web Programmer, 2012 - present
  • Temple Logic
    Programmer and Writer, 2012
  • Enterasys
  • Fidelity Investments
  • KSF International
  • Choicelinx
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Currently
Southern NH
Previously
All over the place (military brat) - California - Germany - Washington - Indiana - Germany - New Hampshire
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Introduction

I write for Cracked.com, and I run ZombieChops.com and SciTechGadget, and I have a wife and daughter, which officially validates me as a human.

Professionally, I am a programmer and web developer, which is a lot less funny. I am also a big advocate for crows, because they are really really smart. REALLY smart. Be nice to them, or else. (I'll GET YOU)

Education
  • Afcent High School
  • Dover High School
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David