I sat down at the computer, unable to rouse.
The temperatures were down, below freezing somewhere,
Thick ice covered everything, nothing was spared.
The cat was sprawled out having finally been fed,
Legs spread wide and eyes rolled to the back of her head.
And I, in my headset, blasting Skrillex and crap,
Had just settled down for a night of Minecraft.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair yelling, “Please not the power!”
Away to the window I ran my fat ass,
Tore open the blinds and let out a gasp.
Half of the tree that had grown so close,
Had fallen three stories to the ground below.
When, out of the corner of my eye should appear,
But a blinking red light on the modem placed near.
With a whimper and cry, I started to fret,
I knew in a moment, it must be the Net.
More perverse than usual, the profanities they came,
Pulling the plug, I called Jesus by name.
“One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi, Four…”
“Why, God, why?! Please, I can’t take no more!”
Into the socket, I plugged it in quick,
Then looked real close to see if it was lit.
One by one, each light began to flicker,
Impatiently I waited, “Why isn’t it quicker?”
Slowly the lights turned from red to green,
Then I let out a HUGE sigh of relief.
I’d finish this poem, but who really cares?
The Internet’s back, and I have no time to spare.
Continuing on would be quite needless,
So praise the lord! Thank you, sweet Jesus!
A great, free alternative to Pingdom.
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