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Forget Planking. I've started a new sensation called Whitening. If you're Caucasian just enter into a random alt-ethnic cubicle at your workplace. Ask for a stapler, pencil or how to harvest corn. When the person helps you, simply violently kick them out, taking over their area, claiming it as your own.
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114 comments
 
Later, offer them a small desk in the basement next to Milton. They can borrow his stapler if they need one.
 
I'd love it if someone could explain this whole stupid "planking" phenomenon to me...
 
I'm upset that I don't work in an office now. :(
 
+Alana Joy all it is, is people that pretend to look like they are laying down. That's it. The goal is to try and do it at crazy places. It's different and I don't get why it's so popular among 99% of America lol.
 
+Digi Jeff Lange Sounds about as appealing/interesting/nonsensical as the rest of the stuff that is popular among 99% of America. "Everything popular is wrong." ~ Oscar Wilde
 
At least Americans can claim that the British inventing planking. So, planking is the biggest British export since Simon Pegg.
 
Wasn't it the aussies that invented planking?
 
Me and my friend were going to invent something new. Its called spanking. Slapping people who plank. I think it'll catch on. Maybe you should post this to start the trend Dane
 
if i had a job right now thats what i would be doing......helli should done that when the bastards laid me off!!
 
YOU HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS ALREADY. GAH I ONLY HAVE 15
 
Wouldn't mind seeing people Plank on the freeway to put a end to all this. lol
 
Planking should only be done by trained professionals.
 
just pissed my pants laughing, thank you fellow masshole...
 
I just took over a co-workers cubicle last week. does that put me ahead of the game?
 
Your a genius Dane! Why wasn't i doing this yesterday!
 
Please don't ever do a planking joke...
 
Also, according to physicians you shouldn't plank more than 3 times per week, or you'll go blind.
 
You are now dominating my entire feed 
 
If you click the drop down arrow in the upper right area of this box, you can 'mute' this post and you won't see anyone elses posts..just in case you didn't know already. I want Dane to add me too...but no luck... :(
 
dude i added you to my Circle Jerkers circle :P
 
So what "cool stuff" are you giving away on here Mr. Cook
 
dane you're great, can you post something on my wall please?
 
Dane I wicked love you.... from one masshole to another just keep doing what ur doing !!!! <3 ya
 
hahahahahahahahahah ur the fuckin man dane ... i preach u and the people follow.
 
Do you have something that is posting across all your social media streams? or are you entering them all individually?
 
i love how Facebook keeps allowing us to advertise G+ on their site :D
 
I put you in my Friends circle Dane, simply because, you are my friend.
 
I said I am following you, until the point that we can become friends due to your being funny and me +1ing things that make me smile
 
That is awesome!! Only you can come up with something like that!!
 
Don't forget to take pictures for Human Resources... Wiggaz : )
 
Haha, That Dane is a silly son of a bitch
 
that was stupid,, Dane, your jokes are sucking worse than the red sox
 
Ryan if you don't like him then why have him in your circle??
 
attacking a joke with a worse joke? and baseball at that? weak mate
 
just being real. Can you honestly tell me that Whitening was a good joke? Seriously?
 
Maybe it wasn't so funny or that great but he is human, and not every post will be funny or great but in the end we all know he is a funny man and one talented guy.
 
Sorry mate, but my fulltime job is not a comedian
 
Wow I don't like the fact that I'm notified when everyone of you post
 
i know, it sucks, thats why you hit the mute this post in the bottom right like im about to do now
 
@Ryan: Then why are you on a comedian's page? If you're gonna come here, you should probably get your panties outta that tight bundle. ;)
 
+Allison Byrd um leave that drama crap on Facebook
 
haha, love it, now thats funny
 
I thought that planking started in Australia?
 
what if you aren't white :( only off white (olive)
 
I'm the 705th step closer to helping you beat Ashton. Go me.
 
whatever number I am, I don't care! I just did my part. ;)
 
I've taught your followers to count. One more point for me. Sorry Dane.
 
I put you in my circle Dane. Enjoy ;)
 
i doubt you even read our comments and posts do you Dane..?
 
Sorry, I don't speak Spanish, Dane. What the Hell are you typing about?
Also...I'm totally buzzed...:-/
 
1 more closer to 1mm now :) I circled you!!!
 
I have the privilege of being your #705..Oh yeah!
 
you're a genius among men. When can I see you and your humor doing another cd for my enjoyment? I have recently revisited your classic like harmful and retaliation and i gotta say, the times i spent listening to and reciting those jokes are some of my happiest memories, you're a good man and have saved lives.. Keep the dane train movin man.. Peace and love.
 
Dane add me to your vicious circle, you silly bitch!!
 
Wow, I should have been doing this yesterday..!
 
I would, but I don't want to get my ass beat.
 
There is nothing white people do better than that! 
 
Remind me never to work in an office with white people...0_o
Amy C
 
Well, we've kind of already been doing that for years.... just in much bigger cubicles.
 
thanks for gettin me into google+ dane as a soldier this is so much better then facebook for organizing everyone
 
How would they stop us from advertising about it on facebook? Its not like were a paid service boasting about G+ on there lol
 
Is it now Circle me bitch instead of Google me bitch?
 
Careful, soon those exiled coworkers will start an office poker league where you will lose most if not all of your life's savings.
 
Sounds like a party... after that hire someone (like me) to set up the tourism and I'll even make some arroz con pollo
 
what happened to becoming friends with the guy that's going to eventually come into work and shoot everyone? lol
 
Yeah, by the end of this we're gonna owe a lot of people 40 staplers and a mule...
 
I wonder if i should be offended or laugh....its just so hard to pick between the two!! Damn...being black and having a sense of humor sucks!! :-)
 
I totally pwnd that game. You would have been proud. I would have posted earlier, but I was out looking for a new job. Effen ppl with no sense of humor! Srsly, either find a funny bone on ebay or jog on!
 
LMFAO i wonder if uve done this already..
 
ZOMG!!! Where do you come up with this shit man!? I can't stop laughing! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
 
ITS FUNNY UNTIL THEY BUST A CAP.. KNOCK YOUR FRONT TOOTH OUT AND RIGHTFULLY RENAME THAT WHITENING :)
 
This actually reminds me of a friend of mine that was dating a Native American girl. Every time she got up from the couch to get water or something, she'd come back and he'd have his feet where she'd been sitting and tell her that it was "his now" and then offer her a blanket...
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