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Dane Cook
Lives in Los Angeles, CA
2,834,245 followers|9,266,045 views
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Dane Cook

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Stalking Dane on Google. ✔️
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Dane Cook

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You can give someone the sun, moon and stars.
Eventually they'll be pissed you didn't offer them another galaxy.
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+Drew Hayes blablabla
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Dane Cook

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I wonder how much of our lives is wasted listening to people on television complain about how to find out their credit scores.
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Don't even bother with it.That is only F'ing business .
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Dane Cook

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When someone asks you to take a picture of them quickly open their iTunes and gift yourself 500 bucks.
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Well ya lmao...hell no I wouldnt do that...not cool
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Dane Cook

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Fuckface LoL
Nice :)
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I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas but if for some reason you don't, well, you've got a year to prepare for the follow up.
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Lol
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If you missed my announcement on Jimmy Kimmel Live here's the segment.
My NEW special TROUBLEMAKER on Showtime Networks.
http://www.mediamaxonline.com/dailybuzz/play/broadcast/j4FZ6Q4juUOm5-faSBft6A.mp4
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I love him
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Dane Cook

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There is nothing more annoying than a drunk girl giving directions from the back seat
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If you are a taxi driver, picking up a DRUNK is not wise. 

Or if you are a private citizen with a drunk passenger at the back harassing you. 

Open the door, and push the irritant out.  lol
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If someone gross hits on you just right swipe.
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What about left handed people?
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New trailer for my movie Planes : Fire & Rescue looks amazing. 
This one's darker/funnier. Out July 18 Check it out: http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/disney/planesfirerescue/includes/large.html#videos-large
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yay
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Dane Cook

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#ValentinesDay is for losers.
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Bwahahaha
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Dane Cook

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I'm at #CES2003
I've gotta tell you, so far I'm underwhelmed. 
Except for the iPAQ pocket PC everything else seems dated.
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March 18
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