A few months ago, I started posting Plane Reviews on Twitter. That's a review of a movie I watched on a plane in a tweet. Like this one for Pirates of the Caribbean 4

"Depp follows Cruz's cleavage to the Fountain of Youth and the sheriff from Deadwood has a mighty sword. Pirates 4."

Followers liked those one-liner reviews and now I found myself at the Deauville Film Festival where Drive premiered.

"Drive is a violent bastard of a movie that remixes Transporter, Halloween, Pulp Fiction and where Ryan Gosling emotes meh."

During the Premier in Deauville, the director said that Hollywood is like a call girl, where the sex is good, but you never know what you're going to get afterward. This movie is his bastard child that's supposed to introduce us to a new star, Ryan Gosling, with old stars like Albert Brooks, Ryan Perlman, and a once-sexy and curvy, but now white-trashy Christina Hendricks. Ok, so imagine Brooks channelling Jack Nicholson's sadistic character in the Departed and Gosling responding with a shrug and then stalking his prey like Jason in Halloween. The director also told the audience the film was only 90 minutes. He made a point of that I guess because he had several plot lines to conclude and no character development to complete. What he got from Hollywood was an auteur label, a budget, and this forgettable movie.

Before it turned violent after opening up several possible stories arcs, the movie did get my attention with a car chase that played like a throbbing sex scene.

Other critics will study the bad luck, cars, and can't move about your station themes, but after shocking the audience with head-exploding violence, I just didn't care anymore.
Deauville Film Festival (4 photos)
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