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Court Ordered Classes
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Probation Approved Programs for Court Ordered Classes Online
Probation Approved Programs for Court Ordered Classes Online

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Obtain our SUPERVISORY ACCOUNT to monitor those defendants that have been assigned to you.

http://www.cop-i.com/officers.php

Probation / Parole and Court Official Supervisory Tools. All Officers, Court Officials, DCFS Social Workers, Pretrial Reps, Judges and other Court Officials may obtain a Supervisory or "Officer" Account to monitor those registrants that have been assigned to them from enrollment to completion of the program.

PROVIDED IN EVERY STATE. We are a Brick & Mortar Program Provider. A Certified and Accredited Program with Live, In-Person Classroom Style, Video Group Sessions. We are currently in our 9th year with now over 4,000 probationers/parolees in our database, 3500 of which who have successfully completed and satisfied their court orders through our program. The managing staff at Court Ordered Programs has developed exceptional and technologically advanced programs that they have implemented in their “Advanced Learning System - Live Web Class” school. This is not the make believe on-line program that others offer on CD’s and word documents. This “live group meeting” adheres to and surpasses all State standards and laws regarding Domestic Violence and Batterers Intervention Programs and has since been put to use by many Children's, Family, Drug and Criminal Courts throughout the Nation.

All of our other programs from DV/BIP to DEJ and Anger Management or Criminal Behavior Modification, Shoplifting, High Conflict Parenting, Divorce, and our new Juvenile Betterment Program follow the same standards and video group participation requirements with material from this decade. We encourage you to take a closer look and explore our many programs and initiatives as a resource to you in your intervention and prevention efforts. For More Information or Addition Questions you can reach us using our direct Officer/Court line at (916) 900-6166.

http://www.cop-i.com/officers.php
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VICTIM OR SURVIVOR
We can become a victim at any stage in our life. We can, for example, be abused as a child or victimized through substance abuse. If we stay a victim, we can never be a survivor. Victims relive their abuse; survivors leave it behind and go on with life.
The following are characteristics of victims and survivors.
Victims
* Keep things bottled up inside and are ashamed to share or talk about their anger.
* Re-victimize themselves repeatedly and keep paying the price for their lack of control.
* Don’t move on with life, and their lack of self control keeps them captive. They stay in the darkened room.
* Feel more anger in life; they don’t like themselves. They don’t make good partners because they are preoccupied with themselves and their anger issues.
Survivors
* Have sought anger management counseling and are willing to share (talk about) their problems, when appropriate.
* Paid the price and overcame their anger issues and are no longer victims. They are moving on in life.
* Have found the door out of the darkened room and have gone through the door into a brighter day.
* Are able to be more sensitive and offer help. Helping others increases their self-esteem. They are more relaxes and in control of their emotions.
Question.
What happens when a person stops being a victim and chooses to be a survivor?
---------------------------------------------
From our " Right Versus Wrong?" Class in our Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Shoplifting, DEJ, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com
Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.
Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found at http://www.cop-i.com
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Post has attachment
VICTIM OR SURVIVOR
We can become a victim at any stage in our life. We can, for example, be abused as a child or victimized through substance abuse. If we stay a victim, we can never be a survivor. Victims relive their abuse; survivors leave it behind and go on with life.
The following are characteristics of victims and survivors.
Victims
* Keep things bottled up inside and are ashamed to share or talk about their anger.
* Re-victimize themselves repeatedly and keep paying the price for their lack of control.
* Don’t move on with life, and their lack of self control keeps them captive. They stay in the darkened room.
* Feel more anger in life; they don’t like themselves. They don’t make good partners because they are preoccupied with themselves and their anger issues.
Survivors
* Have sought anger management counseling and are willing to share (talk about) their problems, when appropriate.
* Paid the price and overcame their anger issues and are no longer victims. They are moving on in life.
* Have found the door out of the darkened room and have gone through the door into a brighter day.
* Are able to be more sensitive and offer help. Helping others increases their self-esteem. They are more relaxes and in control of their emotions.
Question.
What happens when a person stops being a victim and chooses to be a survivor?
-------------------------------------------
From our " Right Versus Wrong?" Class in our Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Shoplifting, DEJ, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com
Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.
Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found at http://www.cop-i.com
Photo

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All the Lonely Children

Children suffer loneliness too after their parents are divorced. They have the same kind of empty feelings inside them that parents have. They have the same need to be with others to fill up that loneliness, but they also fear being close to others.

Kids may feel they are the only divorced kid in school. In one community, divorce was so prevalent that when one youngster told school friends that his parents were getting a divorce, the other kids said, ''Your parents are finally getting with it, aren't they?" In another community, divorce can still be so "wrong," so unusual, that the child might be the only divorced kid in the grade.

Daily living habits are altered just as are those of the parents. At home, there is only one parent to spend time with, to play with, and to put them to bed. And the kids feel the loneliness of a new house when one or both parents move. At the home of the noncustodial parent, there may not be familiar toys or books to play with. Often the other parent's new home is not set up for children, and may be located in a new neighborhood, away from friends.

The kids need to work through this loneliness just as the parents do in order to develop their own healthy feelings of aloneness. Kids need to learn that they have the resources within themselves to spend time alone without having to have another person around.

Many kids may have been lonely before the divorce because the interaction within the family did not help them to feel that they belonged. Divorce tends to increase this feeling ofnot belonging or not being okay. However, perhaps the crisis itself can be used to help deal directly with the problem.

This is a special time for parents to help the children feel that they belong, that they are loved, and that they are an important part of a new (restructured) family. They need help in learning to live with a single parent, two parents living apart, new step-parent(s) and/or step-siblings. (Again, we caution you not to develop serious new relationships too soon!)

As with all of the rebuilding blocks, when you're dealing with your own loneliness, it is very difficult to have enough emotional time and energy left to devote to the kids' needs. Like putting your own oxygen mask on first in an airplane emergency, it may be necessary for you to work through your own rebuilding blocks first; then you'll be better able to help your children.



--------------------------------------------------

From our " Healthy Holiday Boundaries?" Class in our Anger Management, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com

Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.

Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found at http://www.cop-i.com

Photo

Post has attachment
All the Lonely Children

Children suffer loneliness too after their parents are divorced. They have the same kind of empty feelings inside them that parents have. They have the same need to be with others to fill up that loneliness, but they also fear being close to others.

Kids may feel they are the only divorced kid in school. In one community, divorce was so prevalent that when one youngster told school friends that his parents were getting a divorce, the other kids said, ''Your parents are finally getting with it, aren't they?" In another community, divorce can still be so "wrong," so unusual, that the child might be the only divorced kid in the grade.

Daily living habits are altered just as are those of the parents. At home, there is only one parent to spend time with, to play with, and to put them to bed. And the kids feel the loneliness of a new house when one or both parents move. At the home of the noncustodial parent, there may not be familiar toys or books to play with. Often the other parent's new home is not set up for children, and may be located in a new neighborhood, away from friends.

The kids need to work through this loneliness -just as the parents do -in order to develop their own healthy feelings of aloneness. Kids need to learn that they have the resources within themselves to spend time alone without having to have another person around.

Many kids may have been lonely before the divorce because the interaction within the family did not help them to feel that they belonged. Divorce tends to increase this feeling ofnot belonging or not being okay. However, perhaps the crisis itself can be used to help deal directly with the problem.

This is a special time for parents to help the children feel that they belong, that they are loved, and that they are an important part of a new (restructured) family. They need help in learning to live with a single parent, two parents living apart, new step-parent(s) and/or step-siblings. (Again, we caution you not to develop serious new relationships too soon!)

As with all of the rebuilding blocks, when you're dealing with your own loneliness, it is very difficult to have enough emotional time and energy left to devote to the kids' needs. Like putting your own oxygen mask on first in an airplane emergency, it may be necessary for you to work through your own rebuilding blocks first; then you'll be better able to help your children.



----------------------------------------------------

From our " Healthy Holiday Boundaries?" Class in our Anger Management, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com

Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.

Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found at http://www.cop-i.com

Post has attachment
All the Lonely Children

Children suffer loneliness too after their parents are divorced. They have the same kind of empty feelings inside them that parents have. They have the same need to be with others to fill up that loneliness, but they also fear being close to others.

Kids may feel they are the only divorced kid in school. In one community, divorce was so prevalent that when one youngster told school friends that his parents were getting a divorce, the other kids said, ''Your parents are finally getting with it, aren't they?" In another community, divorce can still be so "wrong," so unusual, that the child might be the only divorced kid in the grade.

Daily living habits are altered just as are those of the parents. At home, there is only one parent to spend time with, to play with, and to put them to bed. And the kids feel the loneliness of a new house when one or both parents move. At the home of the noncustodial parent, there may not be familiar toys or books to play with. Often the other parent's new home is not set up for children, and may be located in a new neighborhood, away from friends.

The kids need to work through this loneliness just as the parents do in order to develop their own healthy feelings of aloneness. Kids need to learn that they have the resources within themselves to spend time alone without having to have another person around.

Many kids may have been lonely before the divorce because the interaction within the family did not help them to feel that they belonged. Divorce tends to increase this feeling ofnot belonging or not being okay. However, perhaps the crisis itself can be used to help deal directly with the problem.

This is a special time for parents to help the children feel that they belong, that they are loved, and that they are an important part of a new (restructured) family. They need help in learning to live with a single parent, two parents living apart, new step-parent(s) and/or step-siblings. (Again, we caution you not to develop serious new relationships too soon!)

As with all of the rebuilding blocks, when you're dealing with your own loneliness, it is very difficult to have enough emotional time and energy left to devote to the kids' needs. Like putting your own oxygen mask on first in an airplane emergency, it may be necessary for you to work through your own rebuilding blocks first; then you'll be better able to help your children.



------------------------------------------------

From our " Healthy Holiday Boundaries?" Class in our Anger Management, Batterers Intervention and Parenting Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com

Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer.

Court and Probation Accepted Since 2007. State Certificates along with Probation/Parole Officer/Judge Login can be found at http://www.cop-i.com

Photo

Post has attachment
What is the “Equality Wheel”?

The Equality wheel is a model used to explain the dynamics of a healthy relationship. It is applicable to all forms of relationships; with friends, dating partners, intimate partners, life partners, or family members. Each component of the wheel supports and reinforces the others, with equality always at the center. The Equality wheel can be used by anyone as a guide to maintaining healthy patterns in a relationship.

The Center of the Wheel:

Equality: Equality is the foundation of any healthy relationship

The Spokes of the Wheel:

Trust: trust appropriately. You would trust your life partner more than you would trust a new acquaintance.

Support: Support each other. Encourage others in their goals, activities, and personal growth.

Respect: Respect other people’s boundaries. Learn other people’s boundaries and do not infringe upon them.

Responsibility: share responsibility for maintaining a relationship. Both people in a relationship should be included in making decisions.

Communication: communicate effectively. Effective communication involves clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings and listening to those and others.

Boundaries: maintain healthy boundaries. Create safe and comfortable space to experience relationships by defining and communicating your boundaries to others.

Honesty: Be open and honest. It is important for both people in a relationship to be honest about their intentions, feelings, or desires.

Accountability: Be responsible for your own actions. Talk to others to understand how your actions affect them.

The Outer Circle of the Wheel:

Non- Violence: there is no place for violent acts or behaviors in a healthy relationship; examples of violent acts or behaviors include yelling, name-calling, minimizing feelings, throwing things, unwanted touching, pushing, hitting, stalking, and forced sex.

------------------------------

Batterers like those who intervene to help them, have been immersed in a culture that supports relationships of dominance. This cultural acceptance of dominance is rooted in the assumption that based on differences; some people have the legitimate right to master others. Southern whites proclaimed segregation to be God's plan carried out in the interest of "less developed" Southern blacks. Through their institutions, European Americans have for the last five centuries dominated Native American people. When the military failed to completely annihilate them, the churches and, most recently, social service agencies were called on to assimilate them, as if making indigenous people "European" would elevate rather than diminish them as a people. "[The] long patriarchal tradition... was explicitly established in the institutional practices of both the church and the state and supported by some of the most prominent political, legal, religious, philosophical, and literary figures in Western society... They believed that men had the right to dominate and control women and that a woman, by her very nature, is subservient to a man. This relationship was deemed natural, sacred and unproblematic and such beliefs resulted in long periods of disregard and/or denial of the husband's abuses of his economic, political and physical power."

Those in control use societal institutions to justify, support, and enforce the relationship of dominance and make extensive efforts to obtain general acceptance of the premises that hierarchy is natural and that those at the bottom are there because of their own deficiencies.

The consciousness of separateness prevails. Differences among people are not celebrated and treasured but used as a reason to dominate. When relationships of dominance become the norm in a culture, then all individuals within it are socialized to internalize those values or exist on the fringe of society. Individuals mirror global and national relationships in their own interpersonal relationships.

Most batterers are informed by cultural messages justifying dominance and vigorously defend their beliefs as absolute truths with slogans such as "Someone has to be in charge," "You can't have two captains for one ship," "If I don't control my child/wife/ partner, she will control me," "God made man first, which means he is supposed to rule woman," or "This is my child, it is my responsibility to control him."

The consciousness of both men and women in this society is shaped by their experiences of this system and all of the forces that work within it. Yet not all men batter women even though all men have been socialized in a society that grants them certain gender privileges. Not all parents physically punish their children even though all parents in this country have the legal right to do so. Likewise, not all white people commit violent acts of racism, yet all whites have been exposed to powerful socializing experiences that tell them they are superior to people of color. Ultimately we must each be accountable for the choices we make.

The history of a man who batters is often a history of childhood abuse; exposure to male role models who have shown hostile attitudes toward women; exposure to women-hating environments; alcoholism; racial and class oppression; and the denial of love and nurturing as a child. Clearly many men need to find ways to heal from the sexual and physical abuse they experienced as children. We can't discount their pain and their scars. Nevertheless, these individual experiences can easily become both an explanation of why a man batters and an excuse to continue his violence. To change long-held patterns, men must acknowledge the destructive nature of their present behaviors and accept the responsibility for their actions. They are not, however, responsible for creating the many forces that have shaped their thinking. Although the men are not victims of sexism as are the women they beat, they are dehumanized by their socialization.

Not all batterers are the same. A few are mentally ill, some have no apparent remorse for their violence, and some, if not morally motivated to change, are at least miserable enough to want their situation to be different. Still others are truly appalled at their own behavior. The rationalizations of abusers for their behaviors, like those of other individuals and groups who dominate through force, often result in the abusers not only portraying but, in some sense, believing themselves to be the victims of those they beat. This delusion is often reinforced by the practices of police, judges, social workers, clergy, educators, therapists, reporters, and other representatives of society's institutions.


Abusers are capable of personal transformation, and many of them will make extensive changes if certain conditions exist. First, the abuser must be held fully accountable for his use of violence by a community that establishes and enforces consequences for continued acts of abuse. Second, he must have an environment that is non-violent, non-judgmental, and respectful of women and children in which to start making those changes. And finally, he must be willing to work through a long process during which he is painfully honest with himself and becomes accountable to the woman he has harmed.
From our "The Power and Control Wheel" Class in our Duluth Model Domestic Violence and Batterers Intervention Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com


Probation Approved and State provided Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs in Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer. More Certificates and Educational Material can be found on http://www.cop-i.com
Photo

Post has attachment
What is the “Equality Wheel”?

The Equality wheel is a model used to explain the dynamics of a healthy relationship. It is applicable to all forms of relationships; with friends, dating partners, intimate partners, life partners, or family members. Each component of the wheel supports and reinforces the others, with equality always at the center. The Equality wheel can be used by anyone as a guide to maintaining healthy patterns in a relationship.

The Center of the Wheel:

Equality: Equality is the foundation of any healthy relationship

The Spokes of the Wheel:

Trust: trust appropriately. You would trust your life partner more than you would trust a new acquaintance.

Support: Support each other. Encourage others in their goals, activities, and personal growth.

Respect: Respect other people’s boundaries. Learn other people’s boundaries and do not infringe upon them.

Responsibility: share responsibility for maintaining a relationship. Both people in a relationship should be included in making decisions.

Communication: communicate effectively. Effective communication involves clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings and listening to those and others.

Boundaries: maintain healthy boundaries. Create safe and comfortable space to experience relationships by defining and communicating your boundaries to others.

Honesty: Be open and honest. It is important for both people in a relationship to be honest about their intentions, feelings, or desires.

Accountability: Be responsible for your own actions. Talk to others to understand how your actions affect them.

The Outer Circle of the Wheel:

Non- Violence: there is no place for violent acts or behaviors in a healthy relationship; examples of violent acts or behaviors include yelling, name-calling, minimizing feelings, throwing things, unwanted touching, pushing, hitting, stalking, and forced sex.

----------------------------------

Batterers like those who intervene to help them, have been immersed in a culture that supports relationships of dominance. This cultural acceptance of dominance is rooted in the assumption that based on differences; some people have the legitimate right to master others. Southern whites proclaimed segregation to be God's plan carried out in the interest of "less developed" Southern blacks. Through their institutions, European Americans have for the last five centuries dominated Native American people. When the military failed to completely annihilate them, the churches and, most recently, social service agencies were called on to assimilate them, as if making indigenous people "European" would elevate rather than diminish them as a people. "[The] long patriarchal tradition... was explicitly established in the institutional practices of both the church and the state and supported by some of the most prominent political, legal, religious, philosophical, and literary figures in Western society... They believed that men had the right to dominate and control women and that a woman, by her very nature, is subservient to a man. This relationship was deemed natural, sacred and unproblematic and such beliefs resulted in long periods of disregard and/or denial of the husband's abuses of his economic, political and physical power."

Those in control use societal institutions to justify, support, and enforce the relationship of dominance and make extensive efforts to obtain general acceptance of the premises that hierarchy is natural and that those at the bottom are there because of their own deficiencies.

The consciousness of separateness prevails. Differences among people are not celebrated and treasured but used as a reason to dominate. When relationships of dominance become the norm in a culture, then all individuals within it are socialized to internalize those values or exist on the fringe of society. Individuals mirror global and national relationships in their own interpersonal relationships.

Most batterers are informed by cultural messages justifying dominance and vigorously defend their beliefs as absolute truths with slogans such as "Someone has to be in charge," "You can't have two captains for one ship," "If I don't control my child/wife/ partner, she will control me," "God made man first, which means he is supposed to rule woman," or "This is my child, it is my responsibility to control him."

The consciousness of both men and women in this society is shaped by their experiences of this system and all of the forces that work within it. Yet not all men batter women even though all men have been socialized in a society that grants them certain gender privileges. Not all parents physically punish their children even though all parents in this country have the legal right to do so. Likewise, not all white people commit violent acts of racism, yet all whites have been exposed to powerful socializing experiences that tell them they are superior to people of color. Ultimately we must each be accountable for the choices we make.

The history of a man who batters is often a history of childhood abuse; exposure to male role models who have shown hostile attitudes toward women; exposure to women-hating environments; alcoholism; racial and class oppression; and the denial of love and nurturing as a child. Clearly many men need to find ways to heal from the sexual and physical abuse they experienced as children. We can't discount their pain and their scars. Nevertheless, these individual experiences can easily become both an explanation of why a man batters and an excuse to continue his violence. To change long-held patterns, men must acknowledge the destructive nature of their present behaviors and accept the responsibility for their actions. They are not, however, responsible for creating the many forces that have shaped their thinking. Although the men are not victims of sexism as are the women they beat, they are dehumanized by their socialization.

Not all batterers are the same. A few are mentally ill, some have no apparent remorse for their violence, and some, if not morally motivated to change, are at least miserable enough to want their situation to be different. Still others are truly appalled at their own behavior. The rationalizations of abusers for their behaviors, like those of other individuals and groups who dominate through force, often result in the abusers not only portraying but, in some sense, believing themselves to be the victims of those they beat. This delusion is often reinforced by the practices of police, judges, social workers, clergy, educators, therapists, reporters, and other representatives of society's institutions.


Abusers are capable of personal transformation, and many of them will make extensive changes if certain conditions exist. First, the abuser must be held fully accountable for his use of violence by a community that establishes and enforces consequences for continued acts of abuse. Second, he must have an environment that is non-violent, non-judgmental, and respectful of women and children in which to start making those changes. And finally, he must be willing to work through a long process during which he is painfully honest with himself and becomes accountable to the woman he has harmed.
From our "The Power and Control Wheel" Class in our Duluth Model Domestic Violence and Batterers Intervention Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com


Probation Approved and State provided Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs in Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer. More Certificates and Educational Material can be found on http://www.cop-i.com
Photo

Post has attachment
What is the “Equality Wheel”?

The Equality wheel is a model used to explain the dynamics of a healthy relationship. It is applicable to all forms of relationships; with friends, dating partners, intimate partners, life partners, or family members. Each component of the wheel supports and reinforces the others, with equality always at the center. The Equality wheel can be used by anyone as a guide to maintaining healthy patterns in a relationship.

The Center of the Wheel:

Equality: Equality is the foundation of any healthy relationship

The Spokes of the Wheel:

Trust: trust appropriately. You would trust your life partner more than you would trust a new acquaintance.

Support: Support each other. Encourage others in their goals, activities, and personal growth.

Respect: Respect other people’s boundaries. Learn other people’s boundaries and do not infringe upon them.

Responsibility: share responsibility for maintaining a relationship. Both people in a relationship should be included in making decisions.

Communication: communicate effectively. Effective communication involves clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings and listening to those and others.

Boundaries: maintain healthy boundaries. Create safe and comfortable space to experience relationships by defining and communicating your boundaries to others.

Honesty: Be open and honest. It is important for both people in a relationship to be honest about their intentions, feelings, or desires.

Accountability: Be responsible for your own actions. Talk to others to understand how your actions affect them.

The Outer Circle of the Wheel:

Non- Violence: there is no place for violent acts or behaviors in a healthy relationship; examples of violent acts or behaviors include yelling, name-calling, minimizing feelings, throwing things, unwanted touching, pushing, hitting, stalking, and forced sex.

--------------------------------

Batterers like those who intervene to help them, have been immersed in a culture that supports relationships of dominance. This cultural acceptance of dominance is rooted in the assumption that based on differences; some people have the legitimate right to master others. Southern whites proclaimed segregation to be God's plan carried out in the interest of "less developed" Southern blacks. Through their institutions, European Americans have for the last five centuries dominated Native American people. When the military failed to completely annihilate them, the churches and, most recently, social service agencies were called on to assimilate them, as if making indigenous people "European" would elevate rather than diminish them as a people. "[The] long patriarchal tradition... was explicitly established in the institutional practices of both the church and the state and supported by some of the most prominent political, legal, religious, philosophical, and literary figures in Western society... They believed that men had the right to dominate and control women and that a woman, by her very nature, is subservient to a man. This relationship was deemed natural, sacred and unproblematic and such beliefs resulted in long periods of disregard and/or denial of the husband's abuses of his economic, political and physical power."

Those in control use societal institutions to justify, support, and enforce the relationship of dominance and make extensive efforts to obtain general acceptance of the premises that hierarchy is natural and that those at the bottom are there because of their own deficiencies.

The consciousness of separateness prevails. Differences among people are not celebrated and treasured but used as a reason to dominate. When relationships of dominance become the norm in a culture, then all individuals within it are socialized to internalize those values or exist on the fringe of society. Individuals mirror global and national relationships in their own interpersonal relationships.

Most batterers are informed by cultural messages justifying dominance and vigorously defend their beliefs as absolute truths with slogans such as "Someone has to be in charge," "You can't have two captains for one ship," "If I don't control my child/wife/ partner, she will control me," "God made man first, which means he is supposed to rule woman," or "This is my child, it is my responsibility to control him."

The consciousness of both men and women in this society is shaped by their experiences of this system and all of the forces that work within it. Yet not all men batter women even though all men have been socialized in a society that grants them certain gender privileges. Not all parents physically punish their children even though all parents in this country have the legal right to do so. Likewise, not all white people commit violent acts of racism, yet all whites have been exposed to powerful socializing experiences that tell them they are superior to people of color. Ultimately we must each be accountable for the choices we make.

The history of a man who batters is often a history of childhood abuse; exposure to male role models who have shown hostile attitudes toward women; exposure to women-hating environments; alcoholism; racial and class oppression; and the denial of love and nurturing as a child. Clearly many men need to find ways to heal from the sexual and physical abuse they experienced as children. We can't discount their pain and their scars. Nevertheless, these individual experiences can easily become both an explanation of why a man batters and an excuse to continue his violence. To change long-held patterns, men must acknowledge the destructive nature of their present behaviors and accept the responsibility for their actions. They are not, however, responsible for creating the many forces that have shaped their thinking. Although the men are not victims of sexism as are the women they beat, they are dehumanized by their socialization.

Not all batterers are the same. A few are mentally ill, some have no apparent remorse for their violence, and some, if not morally motivated to change, are at least miserable enough to want their situation to be different. Still others are truly appalled at their own behavior. The rationalizations of abusers for their behaviors, like those of other individuals and groups who dominate through force, often result in the abusers not only portraying but, in some sense, believing themselves to be the victims of those they beat. This delusion is often reinforced by the practices of police, judges, social workers, clergy, educators, therapists, reporters, and other representatives of society's institutions.


Abusers are capable of personal transformation, and many of them will make extensive changes if certain conditions exist. First, the abuser must be held fully accountable for his use of violence by a community that establishes and enforces consequences for continued acts of abuse. Second, he must have an environment that is non-violent, non-judgmental, and respectful of women and children in which to start making those changes. And finally, he must be willing to work through a long process during which he is painfully honest with himself and becomes accountable to the woman he has harmed.
From our "The Power and Control Wheel" Class in our Duluth Model Domestic Violence and Batterers Intervention Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com


Probation Approved and State provided Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs in Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer. More Certificates and Educational Material can be found on http://www.cop-i.com
Photo

Post has attachment
What is the “Equality Wheel”?

The Equality wheel is a model used to explain the dynamics of a healthy relationship. It is applicable to all forms of relationships; with friends, dating partners, intimate partners, life partners, or family members. Each component of the wheel supports and reinforces the others, with equality always at the center. The Equality wheel can be used by anyone as a guide to maintaining healthy patterns in a relationship.

The Center of the Wheel:

Equality: Equality is the foundation of any healthy relationship

The Spokes of the Wheel:

Trust: trust appropriately. You would trust your life partner more than you would trust a new acquaintance.

Support: Support each other. Encourage others in their goals, activities, and personal growth.

Respect: Respect other people’s boundaries. Learn other people’s boundaries and do not infringe upon them.

Responsibility: share responsibility for maintaining a relationship. Both people in a relationship should be included in making decisions.

Communication: communicate effectively. Effective communication involves clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings and listening to those and others.

Boundaries: maintain healthy boundaries. Create safe and comfortable space to experience relationships by defining and communicating your boundaries to others.

Honesty: Be open and honest. It is important for both people in a relationship to be honest about their intentions, feelings, or desires.

Accountability: Be responsible for your own actions. Talk to others to understand how your actions affect them.

The Outer Circle of the Wheel:

Non- Violence: there is no place for violent acts or behaviors in a healthy relationship; examples of violent acts or behaviors include yelling, name-calling, minimizing feelings, throwing things, unwanted touching, pushing, hitting, stalking, and forced sex.

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Batterers like those who intervene to help them, have been immersed in a culture that supports relationships of dominance. This cultural acceptance of dominance is rooted in the assumption that based on differences; some people have the legitimate right to master others. Southern whites proclaimed segregation to be God's plan carried out in the interest of "less developed" Southern blacks. Through their institutions, European Americans have for the last five centuries dominated Native American people. When the military failed to completely annihilate them, the churches and, most recently, social service agencies were called on to assimilate them, as if making indigenous people "European" would elevate rather than diminish them as a people. "[The] long patriarchal tradition... was explicitly established in the institutional practices of both the church and the state and supported by some of the most prominent political, legal, religious, philosophical, and literary figures in Western society... They believed that men had the right to dominate and control women and that a woman, by her very nature, is subservient to a man. This relationship was deemed natural, sacred and unproblematic and such beliefs resulted in long periods of disregard and/or denial of the husband's abuses of his economic, political and physical power."

Those in control use societal institutions to justify, support, and enforce the relationship of dominance and make extensive efforts to obtain general acceptance of the premises that hierarchy is natural and that those at the bottom are there because of their own deficiencies.

The consciousness of separateness prevails. Differences among people are not celebrated and treasured but used as a reason to dominate. When relationships of dominance become the norm in a culture, then all individuals within it are socialized to internalize those values or exist on the fringe of society. Individuals mirror global and national relationships in their own interpersonal relationships.

Most batterers are informed by cultural messages justifying dominance and vigorously defend their beliefs as absolute truths with slogans such as "Someone has to be in charge," "You can't have two captains for one ship," "If I don't control my child/wife/ partner, she will control me," "God made man first, which means he is supposed to rule woman," or "This is my child, it is my responsibility to control him."

The consciousness of both men and women in this society is shaped by their experiences of this system and all of the forces that work within it. Yet not all men batter women even though all men have been socialized in a society that grants them certain gender privileges. Not all parents physically punish their children even though all parents in this country have the legal right to do so. Likewise, not all white people commit violent acts of racism, yet all whites have been exposed to powerful socializing experiences that tell them they are superior to people of color. Ultimately we must each be accountable for the choices we make.

The history of a man who batters is often a history of childhood abuse; exposure to male role models who have shown hostile attitudes toward women; exposure to women-hating environments; alcoholism; racial and class oppression; and the denial of love and nurturing as a child. Clearly many men need to find ways to heal from the sexual and physical abuse they experienced as children. We can't discount their pain and their scars. Nevertheless, these individual experiences can easily become both an explanation of why a man batters and an excuse to continue his violence. To change long-held patterns, men must acknowledge the destructive nature of their present behaviors and accept the responsibility for their actions. They are not, however, responsible for creating the many forces that have shaped their thinking. Although the men are not victims of sexism as are the women they beat, they are dehumanized by their socialization.

Not all batterers are the same. A few are mentally ill, some have no apparent remorse for their violence, and some, if not morally motivated to change, are at least miserable enough to want their situation to be different. Still others are truly appalled at their own behavior. The rationalizations of abusers for their behaviors, like those of other individuals and groups who dominate through force, often result in the abusers not only portraying but, in some sense, believing themselves to be the victims of those they beat. This delusion is often reinforced by the practices of police, judges, social workers, clergy, educators, therapists, reporters, and other representatives of society's institutions.


Abusers are capable of personal transformation, and many of them will make extensive changes if certain conditions exist. First, the abuser must be held fully accountable for his use of violence by a community that establishes and enforces consequences for continued acts of abuse. Second, he must have an environment that is non-violent, non-judgmental, and respectful of women and children in which to start making those changes. And finally, he must be willing to work through a long process during which he is painfully honest with himself and becomes accountable to the woman he has harmed.
From our "The Power and Control Wheel" Class in our Duluth Model Domestic Violence and Batterers Intervention Programs at http://www.courtorderedclasses.com


Probation Approved and State provided Domestic Violence / BIP / Anger Management / Parenting/ Drug and Alcohol Programs in Live Classrooms. Designed for individuals who need to take court ordered courses for court ordered requirements, personal reasons or at request of their employer. More Certificates and Educational Material can be found on http://www.cop-i.com
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