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Christopher Parker
Works at Fidelity Investments
Attended Northern Essex Community College
Lives in Malden, MA
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Christopher Parker

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This is what a "good cop" looks like.
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Yeah totally agree 
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Christopher Parker

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I wish I could get a neural implant of this song, so I'd never have to stop listening to it again. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I swear I'm not crazy.

Okay, maybe I'm a little crazy.

By a little, I mean a lot.

Yeah, pretty much obsessed.

If you know you're crazy, though, does that mean you're not crazy, after all? Is it a Catch-22 situation?

But then if you "know" you're crazy when you're not, and you have such a warped self-image that you see yourself as crazy, then doesn't that loop back around into the territory of being crazy again?

Anyway, this song is amazing; it never gets old.
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Christopher Parker

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Sage words...
Stop pushing yourself so hard all the time.
You might like to push yourself in different aspects of your life, but sometimes less really is more. Whether it's exercise, work, or just a nice place to eat, you might be a much happier person if you always leave yourself wanting to come back to things later.
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Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors). BTC 1FhCLQK2ZXtCUQDtG98p6fVH7S6mxAsEey ...
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Christopher Parker

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Let's all hope that the culture at +Lenovo that made this even remotely possible doesn't infiltrate +Motorola Mobility... I shiver at the thought.
I recommend wiping and installing Ubuntu over it, myself.

By installing a single self-signed root certificate (trust me: That’s really bad) across all of Lenovo’s affected machines, Superfish intentionally pokes a gigantic hole into your browser security and allows anyone on your Wi-Fi network to hijack your browser silently and collect your bank credentials, passwords, and anything else you might conceivably type there. As Errata Security’s Robert Graham put it, “I can intercept the encrypted communications of SuperFish’s victims (people with Lenovo laptops) while hanging out near them at a cafe wifi hotspot.” If you have a Lenovo laptop that has Superfish on it (try Filippo Valsorda’s Superfish test to see), I would advise nothing short of wiping the entire machine and installing vanilla Windows—not Lenovo’s Windows. Then change all of your passwords.
Also in Slate: How to tell if you have Superfish, and how to kill it. When Lenovo preinstalled Superfish adware on its laptops, it betrayed its customers and sold out their security. It did it for no good reason, and it may not even have known what it was doing....
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Christopher Parker

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Greatness for me is excelling in a facet of life that bolsters prosperity in the face of adversity. And it's about effecting positive change in the world.

Greatness is a statement of character and place in the story of the world. Not about profession, or income, or possessions.
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Faith in humanity = Restored
She had been throwing excess food out and one day noticed that the bags were torn as if someone had gotten in them to eat the food. Instantly she wrote a letter to whoever was in her dumpster and put it all over her store and the dumpster!
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We all need the occasional reminder every once in a while to take a few steps back and just breathe. Let this be your reminder, should you be in need of one now. ❤
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So true
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Christopher Parker

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Oxymoron of the day: "scrum" meetings that last an hour.
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Christopher Parker

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+Google: Supporting alcoholism since 2015. XD
Because it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere: Cocktail recipes now served on Google Search
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  • Northern Essex Community College
    Computer Science, 2003 - 2006
  • Bunker Hill Community College
    Computer Science, 2001 - 2003
  • Malden High School
    1997 - 2001
    Grades 9 - 12
  • Malden Middle School
    1995 - 1997
    Grades 7, 8
  • Belmont Elementary School
    1994 - 1995
    Grade 6
  • Lincoln Elementary School
    1989 - 1994
    Grades 1 - 5
  • A Drewicz Elementary School
    1988 - 1989
Basic Information
Looking for
Friends, Networking
Other names
Chris, Parker, Bob, Spidey
I &amp;lt;3 JavaScript
    <b><i><u>!!! UNDER CONSTRUCTION !!!</u></i></b>

¡CUIDADO! Don't take me seriously. Except for when I'm serious.

Version: 3.1
GAT/CS/CM/E/IT/MU/P/S/SS/TW/O d-(--)>--- s++>:++>- !a C++++$ ULCX++(+++)>++++$ P++$>++++ L++(+++)$>++++ !E---(-) W+++$ !N o? K--? w++$@>--- !O M(+)$@ !V PS+++(++) PE(--) Y++>$ PGP+(++)>+++ t+(++)>+++ !5 X+(++) R(+) tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+ e+>++++ h---->++ r+++ y++++**>+++++ 

Personal Interests
  • Somewhat of a Google "fanboy" since The Year Two Thousand.
  • Good without god(s); agnostic atheist, with appreciations for:
    • The philosophy of Yeshua ben Yosef, of Nazareth (without the Yahweh/Jehovah part)
    • Daoism
    • Thelema
    • Norse mythology
    • Greek mythology
    • Buddhism
    • Anton LaVey is my homeboy \m/
  • Politics: Libertarian. Anarchist. Socialist. Voluntaryist. Egalitarian.
    • The philosophy of Yeshua ben Yosef, of Nazareth (without the Yahweh/Jehovah part)
    • My Test Results:
    • Like Stephen Colbert, I don't see skin color. I also don't see hair color, eye color, nationality, race, heritage, gender, gender identity, sex, sexual preference, handicap, disability, weight, height, or any other purely circumstantial aspect of an individual. I just see people; namely, their personalities and their decisions.
      • Everyone deserves a chance. Discrimination of any form is not allowed in my stream. If I see it, I'll block it. (This includes <circumstantial characteristic>-only events, fundraisers, charities, etc.! One demographic is no more deserving than any other.)
  • Science-based interests include (and I would like to have PhDs in)...
    • Astrophysics
    • Psychoanalysis
    • Neuropsychiatry
    • Computer science
  • Organizations I support (financially as well as philosophically)
    • Free Software Foundation
    • Electronic Frontier Foundation
    • Wikimedia Foundation
    • Free State Project
    • American Civil Liberties Union
    • Freedom From Religion Foundation
    • Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science
    • Center for Inquiry
    • James Randi Educational Foundation
    • NORML

Professional Interests
  • Target Career Venues (aka "Dream Jobs") in pseudo-random order:
    • Google
    • Bocoup
    • GitHub
    • Massachusetts Institute of Technology
    • Massachusetts General Hospital
    • VALVe
    • Harmonix
    • Bethesda
    • Square Enix
    • Myself

Bio from Facebook (to be assimilated)

I have over ten years of experience in various Web development roles using a myriad of Web-based technologies, ranging from client side technologies such as HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to server side technologies such as Perl, PHP, Python, and Java. I'm also fully capable as a DBA, having amateur and professional experience with RDBMSes such as Oracle 9i/11g, IBM DB2, MySQL, and PostgreSQL. I've also served in several IT roles as system administrator and network architect, both in professional and amateur environments. I work well on both small and large teams, and I have experience with multiple types of development process management, such as the more traditional "waterfall" approach as well as newer agile methods, such as XP and Scrum.

Proud father and husband. JavaScript junkie (for hire). Free software advocate. All around cool guy.

Need to get something off your chest or confide in someone? I'm your man.

I'm a bit of a hodgepodge. I don't adhere to any one specific teaching or school of thought. In the past, I've used labels to help define who I am. Now, I'm just me. Accept me or not, I change for myself and myself alone.

Other bios of mine:

PSN Online ID: cparker15
Xbox Live Gamertag: cparker15
Wii Number: 6773 0121 7596 5883
Bragging rights
Married, Two kids, Three cats, A house, Two cars, A crapton of debt. Ordained minister in two separate churches.
Software Engineer; Web Developer; IT Specialist; Geek of All Trades
JavaScript, HTML, CSS, Perl, Ruby, PHP, Python, C++, Java, XML, XSLT, VB.NET, C#, Dust, SASS, Bash shell, sed, awk, grep, regular expressions, SEO, Microformats, oEmbed, RSS, Atom, SVN, Git, Git-flow, Semver, GNU/Linux, copyleft, FLOSS
  • Fidelity Investments
    Sr. JavaScript Web Developer, 2013 - present
  • Parker Innovations
    Founder, 2006 - present
  • American Student Assistance
    Sr. Web Developer, 2012 - 2013
  • Iron Mountain Incorporated
    UI Developer, 2011 - 2012
  • Brown Brothers Harriman & Co.
    Programmer, 2009 - 2010
  • Brown Brothers Harriman & Co.
    Web Developer, 2009 - 2009
  • Brown Brothers Harriman & Co.
    Sr. Business Analyst, Web Developer, 2006 - 2009
  • Dr. Dan's Integrative Pet Hospital
    IT Director, Web Developer, 2006 - 2007
  • BancTec
    Level 1 PC Technician, 2006 - 2006
  • Northern Essex Community College
    Peer Tutor, 2005 - 2006
  • L-3 Communications (Security & Detection Systems)
    Software Engineer, 2004 - 2005
  • L-3 Communications (Security & Detection Systems)
    Systems Engineer, 2003 - 2004
  • L-3 Communications (Security & Detection Systems)
    Technical Writer, 2003 - 2003
  • L-3 Communications (Security & Detection Systems)
    Technician, 2002 - 2003
  • Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders
    Web Developer, 2001 - 2002
  • Youth Tech Entrepreneurs
    Coder, 2000 - 2000
  • Youth Tech Entrepreneurs
    Web Business Project Manager, 2000 - 2000
  • Massachusetts Department of Education
    Assistant Web Administrator, 1999 - 2000
  • Employment Resources, Inc.
    Employee, 1999 - 1999
  • Imaging Technologies
    Printer Technician, 1998 - 1998
  • Youth Tech Entrepreneurs
    Web Business Co-founder, 2000 - 2000
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Malden, MA
Haverhill, MA - Everett, MA - Lynn, MA - Revere, MA - Quincy, MA
Christopher Parker's +1's are the things they like, agree with, or want to recommend.
The Narrow Gate

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MSBuild, assembly dependencies and the GAC

Today, while doing some .Net development I noticed something about MSBuild that is really annoying. I’ve seen his before but didn’t know the

Making MSBuild / Visual Studio to automatically copy all indirect depend...

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Read what this Christian pastor promises to do if his children are gay

A Christian pastor in North Carolina has been amazed by the reaction to one of his recent blog postings, in which he wrote about what his re

What happens when you inhale the opposite of Helium - Sulfur Hexafluorid...

Sulfur Hexafluoride SF6 is the opposite of helium. Like helium, sulfur hexafluoride is a non-toxic gas, yet by displacing oxygen in the lung

Scientists have just learned how to induce erections by using only a blu...

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How to Quit Being Overwhelmed for Good | Kate Bartolotta

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On Mars, Opportunity Rover Spots Weird Rocks Near Marathon Finish Line

Opportunity has paused to study some intriguing rocks just before its odometer ticks over to 26.2 miles (42.195 kilometers) — the equivalent

Hypnotic Kinetic Sculptures by Jennifer Townley Fuse Mathematics and Art

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Well-Meaning Dalek Performs Guided Relaxation for Humans in ‘Doctor Who’...

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Spotlight TEDx Talk: How to sound smart

At TEDxNewYork, Will Stephen sounds smart saying nothing. It is virtuoso nonsense. The professional comedian has studied many, many presenta

WATCH: The rocket booster that will take humans to Mars in action

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Once a person takes 'magic mushrooms', the popular name for Psilocybin mushrooms that can induce a powerful psychedelic experience in the co

Finding A Doctor or Therapist Who Works For You

Helpful criteria for choosing a doctor, therapist, counselor or other ADD professional.

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Finding a reliable and helpful psychiatrist or psychologist can help those living with attention deficit regain control of their lives and m

Public - 9 months ago
reviewed 9 months ago
I actually love this place's food and atmosphere... But they have a persistent rodent infestation problem, so I don't eat here anymore. I really wish they'd clean the place up, because I'd love to go back.
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
The one time I actually called the place due to a delivery that was running late, I could barely understand the person on the phone. However, considering I order food from here via Foodler multiple times per month, and this has only happened once, I consider this occurrence to be a fluke. I've never had any negative experiences with the quality of the food from Lucky Star. The crab rangoons are second to none.
Food: ExcellentDecor: GoodService: Very Good
Public - 2 years ago
reviewed 2 years ago
8 reviews
Public - a year ago
reviewed a year ago
Every time I get food from Cosi, I'm left wondering why. The food costs twice as much as it should, if not more, and the bread is unbelievably hard and tough, making my teeth ache by the time I'm done. Is their bread just always stale when I get it?! I wouldn't feed their bread to my family, at any rate... if the bread in my pantry felt like the bread at Cosi, I'd throw it out and go buy something fresh! Now I have a tooth ache and I feel poor. Thanks, Cosi!
Public - 3 years ago
reviewed 3 years ago