I am seriously not hip and with it into social media enough to have heard of any of these people beyond vaguely recognizing some of the names. Also, I don't give a flyuck about people having Twitter battles.
But someone alerted me to this http://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/08/18/how-not-to-be-a-male-feminist-creep-8-lessons-from-the-ben-schoen-meltdown/
for the bigger picture issue, which is that just because someone is good at being a feminist one day doesn't mean they're going to get it right the next. That means anyone can screw up. It doesn't mean they weren't a feminist before and can't be after, but sometimes the screw up reveals a darker side that was lurking all along and then makes others question the person's feminism entirely.
So there are multiple sides to this sort of thing in the larger scale.
1) We, as feminists, should not want anyone kicked out of the movement. We should be embracing people of all genders on our path to gender equity. We should not be purists, and need to recognize that some people - particularly those with more privilege - will be prone to screwing up.
2) Those who screw up need to LEARN from their mistakes. Apologies are often in order. This is part of that social-wide thing where we all need to be better at admitting we were wrong and trying to fix it instead of backpedaling or worse, digging in.
3) If someone screws up and is trying to learn and clearly can be seen to be working on improvement, it behooves the movement to be tolerant of that. Because again, we all make mistakes. Jumping all over people PC-police style doesn't help, alienates those who are genuinely trying, and poisons the whole atmosphere.
4) But when the person who has made the mistake has a major freakout and reveals a crapload of misogyny in their thoughts, expecting cookies for their past activism to excuse the fact that they're now making menstrual and wife-beating jokes, all as some kind of ridiculous reasons to justify their stalking behaviour...yeah, fuck that shit, that person is not
a feminist. Because what's being revealed is that the past activism was for the elements of gender equity this person deemed acceptable to them, but the moment a woman doesn't play along, he has a temper tantrum and starts saying what he's really felt the whole time: that he was a darling prince come to rescue the ladies with his privilege and we are supposed to be grateful to his penis for it.
Clearly in this example, Grace told Ben thanks but she's not interested, and he has gone off the rails at her. He expects that his past feminism will get him a pass, and when that doesn't happen, out come the Nazi references and other assorted "feminists were mean to me so I hates them all now" statements.
is the revelation. That
is the core problem: those who say, "Oh yeah sure, I'm all for equal pay and reproductive rights, so I'm a feminist," and then turn around to say, "That woman won't fuck me because she's a cold, feminist bitch."
Feminism isn't just about political causes of the day. It's about recognizing that gender should not dictate anything in life other than the actual physiology part (and even then we must be careful not to fall into biological determinism about it). A person's gender doesn't mean you get to hit on them or that they have to fuck you because you were nice enough to agree that they should be paid equally regardless of their genitals. A person's gender doesn't mean you get to make assumptions about their mood or politics.
Feminism about saying, "Leave our genitals out of this."
So if you're okay with going creepy-stalker-meltdown on a woman, you are probably not a feminist
. If you want to be a feminist, try seeing her as a human being, not an assemblage of fun bits for you to play with.
And if you screw up, admit it, learn from it, apologize, and do better. Don't treat people with a lack of respect and then expect respect in return.
As the article itself wraps up so beautifully, here's a TL;DR version:But, you know what, you don’t need to remember all of these rules if you can just remember the following:8) If you send a message to a woman you’ve never spoken to before in your life and she doesn’t respond, just move the fuck on. How hard is that?
 If you feel like you need to browbeat me about not knowing enough about who these people are, I'd consider telling you that your offer of babysitting is accepted except that only an asshole would browbeat me over bullshit like that so instead expect to be blocked.