Got this wonderful out-of-office note from one of my engineering leads today, and thought it was good enough to share. Yet another reason I love working with the wonderful cast of characters here at +Google
"Thank you for sending that email; your contribution to the greater whole of what makes Google an amazing place to work is important to me, and I'm very happy that I can finally take this moment to congratulate you on your clarity of insight on the text and the decisiveness with which you hit the send-and-archive button.
Unfortunately, I will be a delayed witness of your splendour. I find myself at Burning Man, dressed in large bug-eyed sunglasses and a top hat, in the middle of the Black Rock Desert. Everyone else around me is quite strange, things are slightly more colourful than they ought to be, everything smells bad, and the music appears to have a strange, tangy aftertaste.
More immediate gratification of the awesomeness of that email can only be achieved by sending it to one of the many delegates I trust to "make a decision" in my absence;
But you know those things already, I know. You emailed me personally because you wanted someone with wit, power, influence, style, charm, and modesty to appreciate your unique genius.
If, however, you must contact me, you'll need the following ingredients:
* 1 (one) blank, featureless wall
* 1 (one) shot of vodka
* 1 (one) pinch of salt.
* 1 (one) toad of the species Bufo alvarins, preferrably unlicked.
In quick succession, lick the toad, snort the salt, and throw the vodka over your shoulder. Stare at the blank, featureless wall for 30 - 45 minutes, and I will appear before your eyes to shower well-deserved appreciation upon you."