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Chris Zetye
str8 outta SCT
str8 outta SCT

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I'm becoming a Republican.  Yep, never thought I'd say it.  But its time.

I realize their economic policies make no sense.   And, yes, I know about the social issues.  And no, I don't want women to become second class citizens.  Nor do I want some 19th century 'man of God' dictating health policy.  

I'm switching anyway.

I don't like their imperialistic, 'exceptionalist' attitudes.  And they refuse to look at the realities of where this country stands in regard to military needs, education, health care and infrastucture.  

But I'm switching. 

Because I want to be 'one of *them*'.  I'm tired of being just a 'peasant'.   And I'm told when I vote Republican, I'll be special!   

I'll be rich.  I'll be important.  I'll gaze down my nose at those less fortunate. 
I'll "be... somebody". 

A 'REAL American'.  Fighting against the invasion of foreigners.  And minorities.  And women! 

After all, I'm NOT like the hard working American that brings home a paycheck, struggles from time to time, pays a mortgage and may or may not have health insurance.  (Even though that describes me to a 'T')

I'll be a Vanderbilt.  A Rockefeller.  Even a Romney.  All I have to do is pretend, click my heels three times, and suddenly I'm superior.  I'm important.  I'm "better" than the riff-raff.  I'm a Republican.

And all I have to do is lie.  To myself.  To my friends.  To the world.  Over and over and over.  Until I no longer recognize the truth.  And vote against my own self interests.

Doesn't matter that Republican tax policy hurts me while giving tax breaks to the richest Americans.   And evolution and science can't compete with my new Republican masters!
And I'll chant over and over "we have the best health care in the world".  I'll ignore the fact that a major portion of my fellow citizens can't afford it, and that the US is the most 'civilized' country in the world without some form of universal health care. 

Yep.  I'm going to be a Republican.  And lie to myself.  And wonder why I can't afford health care.  And why we're starting yet another war.  And why it appears the country's finances are getting worse, not better, while I'm taking home less and the fat cats get fatter.

And after the election, I'll wonder why my new found Republican friends don't ever come round to see me anymore.

And I'll still blame the Democrats. +Barack Obama +The White House 

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It's a total mashup! "Gangnam Style" meets "Call Me Maybe"!

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Need this in Arizona asap

Its bedtime and Netflix is down, pos service, shitty movie selection, this may be the last straw.

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Reasons I check my voicemail.
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