Profile cover photo
Profile photo
Chandra Ellington
323 followers -
Choose Happiness and Civility
Choose Happiness and Civility

323 followers
About
Communities and Collections
View all
Posts

Post has attachment
Make a friend, family member, or loved one SMILE by giving them this INSPIRATIONAL GIFT.

This Two-Tone Think Positive Coffee Mug adds enthusiasm to your morning cup of coffee. Click on the link or image below for details:

www.ChooseHappinessAndCivility.com
Photo

Post has attachment
Improve Your Self-Image: The key to your behavior & personality is your self-image. If you expand your self-image, you’ll expand what’s possible for you. You have a brain and a nervous system that is so marvelously made and complex that it works for or against you depending on how YOU the controller, directs it. The Secret to Changing Your Self-Image is by Creative Experience. Click on the image below to read the blog post.

Post has attachment
Take the Happiness Challenge
Click on the link below:
https://choosehappinessandcivility.com/?page_id=21

Post has attachment
5 Timeless Top Best Selling Books That’ll Help You Discover Your Hidden Potential

By Chandra Ellington

Would you like to experience being a better version of yourself? This short list has 5 of the best timeless psychology books ever written on the subject matter. They are a must read!!!

The most remarkable thing about human beings is our ability to think – the brilliance of our brains. These books will explain and help you understanding the science of how you think, feel and learn so you can direct your behavior better. The more often you re-read them, the better results you will have.

January, 2018 - Choose Happiness and Civility
January, 2018 - Choose Happiness and Civility
choosehappinessandcivility.com
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
3 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People

By Chandra Ellington

Our ability to deal with difficult people has an impact on our happiness and success in life. It doesn’t take a special skill to deal with nice positive-minded people. The strong point of your personality and ability to communicate well in a competitive setting is really demonstrated in the way you deal with difficult people. So, how are you to respond when dealing with people who are short-tempered, irritable, angry, speaking against you, or worst of all, people who don’t have good intentions towards you?

Tip 1

The first thing you want to do is not let other people’s negativity affect you. Make a conscious effort to keep your cool. The less reactive you are, the better your judgment will be in handling the situation. There’s an old saying, “People can’t tell who the fool is when two people are arguing.” So, don’t feed the fire by arguing.

Tip 2

When you feel angry or very upset with someone, before you say something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. In most cases, by the time you reach ten, you will have figured-out a better way of communicating your response, so that you can deescalate, instead of escalating the tense situation. If you’re still angry or very upset after counting to ten, excuse yourself from the situation if possible, and discuss the matter later with the person after you’ve calmed down.

Tip 3

In some situations where you’re unable to excuse yourself, it’s best to stay quiet, take deep breaths to calm yourself down, and just listen closely to what is being said. When you do say something, remember one of the best communication tools to take control of any negative situation is to ask questions. At a time like this, you don’t want to try to win the conversation being exchanged or attack the person’s point of view with a belittling comment, because that’ll just worsen the situation. Just simply ask questions in a non-threatening way and be genuinely interested in the person’s response and what he or she is thinking. For instance, you might ask, “Do you have a reason why you feel that way or think that’s true?” or “Where did you get that information?” or “How did you find that out?” Sometimes people have a good reason for why they do things the way they do and sometimes they have misunderstood some information they received or an observation they encountered.

Whatever the circumstance may be, maintain your composure by taking in deep breaths, don’t respond too fast without thinking, and ask questions and it will put you in control of the situation.

Copyright © 2017
Photo
Add a comment...

Stop Taking Inventory on What's Wrong With You

By Chandra Ellington

If you’re one of those people who daily think about all the things that are wrong with you, STOP IT! Don’t focus on your flaws, your weaknesses, or what you’re not. Stop taking inventory on everything that is wrong with you, and begin to take inventory on all the things that are right about you. Even in your weakness, you are fearfully and marvelously made (Psalm 139:14). If you think of yourself as ordinary, you’re not seeing yourself from a true perspective—you’re God’s divine creation. God created you physically and spiritually different from anyone else. There has never been, nor will there ever be, another YOU! Think on that for a moment. Say out loud right now, “I’m God’s masterpiece in the making!”

Encourage Yourself Daily

Daily encourage yourself in the best way possible—by giving yourself a strong dose of encouragement as often as needed during the day. You must condition your mind to think about the positive things that have happen and are happening in your life experiences. The only encouragement that you can count on is the encouragement that you create within yourself. There’s an energy which inspires you to take action towards being the best expression of yourself, and there’s an energy which discourages you from thinking that a better self is possible.

The Bible says, “Let the weak say, I am strong (Joel 3:10).” You may think to yourself, it would be a lie to say the opposite of what my reality is; but, in God’s plan, you must visualize yourself strong in order to overcome weakness. We are to call those things that be not as though they were (Romans 4:17). During doubtful times in your life, just remind yourself that with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

How to Respond to Other People’s Criticism of You

Other people’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality! Don’t allow yourself to feel inferior to other people, because there are no faultless people. We all have shortcomings, so work on being less sensitive and not taking criticism so personally. If you start getting defensive, upset or angry when someone gives you what is supposed to be constructive criticism, then you need to start working on developing thick skin.

The most important thing is to maintain your self-confidence. Regardless of the negative untruths or negative truths that other people say about you, you have to develop “mental toughness” for your own well-being, remember who you are from God’s perspective, and don’t let their words influence your own self-worth. Being confident doesn't mean thinking that you don’t have any shortcomings, but it does mean loving yourself and remembering all your good qualities. When you reach the level of having self-confidence, you’ll know it, because the faultfinders will no longer bring you down emotionally. It is not always what a person says or does that affects you, it is your reaction to what was said or done that matters. Discipline yourself to have emotional poise and serenity.

It’s important to note that not all criticism is destructive, there’s constructive criticism too. Take the time to understand the difference and the intentions of the person who is criticizing you. If your supervisor tells you that you don’t manage your time well during the day, it doesn’t mean that the supervisor doesn’t like you; it’s because the supervisor wants you to perform at your very best.

However, if someone you know makes a negative comment about the new job you might accept, it could be them projecting their own insecurity off on you, because they don’t have the courage to leave a job they don’t like. In this situation, you should not heed their advice.

"Life is like a camera: Focus on what's important, capture the good moments, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, just take another shot." ~Ziad K. Abdelnour

Copyright © 2017
Add a comment...

Program Your Mind for Success

By Chandra Ellington

“We are made or unmade by ourselves. By our thoughts, we forge the weapons by which we can destroy ourselves. Likewise, we also fashion the tools with which we build for ourselves heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, we ascend to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, we descend below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character. We are our own maker and master.”—from As a Man Thinketh

Have you ever wondered what hidden ability you have within you, and who you could become, if you took the time to look for your hidden ability and not stop looking until you find it?

It is a shame to die without having lived your life to your greatest potential. In the words of motivational speaker, Les Brown, “Live your life to the Fullest, and die Empty.”

The Role of Thoughts in Achievement

Our mental weaknesses and strengths are brought about by ourselves and can only be altered by ourselves – no one can do it for us. A strong-minded motivated person can’t help a weak-minded motivated person, unless the unmotivated person is willing to be helped. And even then, the unmotivated person must develop strength by their own efforts to change their condition.

The same way a physically weak person can make themselves strong through patient training, so can a negative-minded person make their thoughts positive-minded by exercising in right thinking (i.e., according to Philippians 4:8 (KJV), …whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.).

On the road towards achievement, you may face failure again and again, until weakness has been overcome. In order to rise from weakness and unhappiness, don’t let your thoughts drift through the ocean of life without direction. An intelligent accomplishment cannot be achieved until your thoughts are connected to a purpose and you set out to accomplish it. Make sure you guard your mind against “possibility-blindness.” Without belief and a purpose in life, you can easily become cynical, self-pitying, full of fears and petty worrying, which lead to emotional misery and unhappiness.

If you are not sure what you want to accomplish, then focus your thoughts on being a top-performer in doing your job duties at work. Do it extra-ordinarily well – no matter how insignificant your task may seem. In doing so, you train your mind to be a top-performer, which can open doors of opportunities for you.

Put a little life into your work, into your pleasures, and into yourself. Stop doing things in a half-hearted way, and begin to take an interest in what you are doing, thinking and saying. You will be surprised at how interesting the ordinary things of life are when you pay attention to what’s going on around you.

Always remember that there is something you can do exceptionally well that no one else can do exactly in the same way that you can do it. You have personality, therefore, develop it – let all your work be distinctive with a personal touch to it.
Discipline Your Emotions for Success

There are people who think that feelings are something that can’t be controlled, so they don’t try to resist them. They yield to their feelings even though they may know that the emotion will lead them to unhappiness or bad behavior, instead of, happiness and good behavior. They think they are just made that way. According to the Apostle Paul, we are to take every thought captive, which implies that we can control our thoughts that affect our emotions.

Don’t allow yourself to be ruled to a large degree by your emotions and feelings to the point that you become enslaved by them. Start paying attention to the thoughts you are having by noticing what happens to you emotionally while you are thinking. If your thoughts start to make you angry, afraid, jealous, have an unpleasant attitude, or any other negative feeling, then switch your thought to something that makes you feel happy, encouraged about life, or compelled to do something kind for someone else.

Happiness Challenge:Daily Challenge
This exercise will help you make a paradigm shift.

Close your eyes and concentrate all your mental imagery on seeing yourself full of energy, in good shape, cheerful, and enjoying life. See yourself on a path that is steadily going upward. When you look behind you, you may see some gloominess, but when you look in front of you, you see increasing brightness. Picture yourself stopping bad habits and overcoming weaknesses–winning in life. See yourself encountering difficulties on the path, and see yourself strengthened and enlightened with wisdom by an inward power, able to get past all blockages and continue in the upward climb that leads to a life full of achievements and success.

Copyright © 2016
Add a comment...

When You Concentrate Your Efforts, You Make a Way for Yourself

By Chandra Ellington

What is it that you would like to do, that you are not doing? Take the time to carefully study yourself and review your life. Figure out what your weaknesses are and what is preventing you from doing what you would like to do.

You have two natures. One side of your nature wants to seek to find your greatest potential and the other side of your nature wants to hold you back. Both sides of your natures are in a battle to win dominance over your thoughts. The nature that you focus and concentrate on the most decides what you will be in the end. By one best effort of the Will (your determination to do what is necessary to achieve what you want), you can change your career and accomplish what seemed far-fetched to happen. You can be that person, if you Will to be, because Will can find or make a way!

I could fill this article with stories of people who were just going through life in a mundane way and, suddenly, their spirits were aroused (as if awakened from sleep) and they started developing themselves and, from that point of time on, they were different people. One person that comes to mind is Les Brown. He’s told the story about how he and his twin brother were born on a floor in an abandoned building. He was adopted and labeled “educable mentally-retarded” during his childhood and adolescent years. They used to call him DT, which was short for the Dumb Twin. He heard a graduation speech that aroused in him the possibility that he had greatness within himself. He is now the world’s leading motivational speaker (former radio DJ, politician, and television host). He has speeches that can be found on YouTube entitled, “Shoot for the Moon, Because Even if You Miss, You’ll Land Among the Stars,” “,” and “It’s Not Over Until You Win” — just to name a few.

Life provides you the opportunity to improve. But are you willing to pay the price in order toYou Have Greatness Within You be successful? The price can’t be paid with money, it must be paid with effort. A lot of people really want to do something, but there are very few people who will put forth the effort to make the necessary sacrifice to accomplish it. Don’t look upon your present position as a permanent one. Neither, let another person’s opinion of you affect you. Another person does not know what you are capable of doing. The truth is, you do not know yourself what you are capable of doing, until you put your capabilities to the test. Therefore, how can someone else know? Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality!

One essential requirement for success is to do whatever you have decided on. Don’t be turned from your path, but make a definite decision that you are going to accomplish what you have set out to do. Do not let a setback stop you from pursuing your goal. Parts of your journey through life are most likely going to be rough. Don’t let the rough experiences cause you to quit and give-up on your dream. Think of the challenges of life as events that have to be overcome before you can reach your goal. Continue on your journey. Success is attained by whole-hearted and concentrated effort.

Start adding qualities to your personality that will benefit you when your opportunity comes. Be observant, keep your eyes open, and be on the watch for opportunities. Remember, we attract what we concentrate our minds on. If we look for opportunities, we find them.

Whenever you’re faced with an obstacle, focus on the benefit of overcoming it, and it will give you the needed courage and energy to get by it. Nobody gets out of the rut of a dull, monotonous, and tiresome life by just wishing oneself out of it. You have to climb out of it.

He who is firm in Will molds the world to himself” said Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. When you concentrate your efforts, you make a way for yourself. There is no such thing as failure for the person who does their best!
Happiness Challenge:Daily Challenge
This exercise will help you make a paradigm shift.

Linger on thoughts of doing and having the thing you want, not as some future reality that might happen or could happen. Live in your mind as if it’s happening to you right now. Create little inner film clips or videos. See yourself doing the thing you want. On one level, you know it’s not yet happening to you; it’s not yet real. It’s still just a visualization, a mental picture. But the mental pictures we indulge in, the ones we regularly think about, become a blueprint for our goals, a mold into which we pour our energy. These pictures are real forces that will work for us.

If doubts or contradictory thoughts arise, and occasionally they will, just ignore them. Don’t try to resist them or fight them, simply let those thoughts come and go in your consciousness without much notice. Just keep repeating your visualization and everything will quite naturally look after itself. ~By John Kehoe

Copyright © 2016

Add a comment...

Happiness Is Yours for the Taking: Being Unhappy Is Not Ok
“Your mind is your instrument.

Learn to be its master and not its slave.” ~ Remez Sasson

Learning how to choose happiness is a skillset that can be learned. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve had feelings of unhappiness. If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, and willing to be open in your mind to learning how to look at things from a different perspective than what you’re accustomed to, happiness will be yours for the taking.

First, let’s talk about the meaning of happiness. One of the best descriptions of happiness comes from the book “The How of Happiness” by a positive psychology researcher named Sonja Lyubomirsky, which describes happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

Many people thirst for happiness. They try to find it from external sources, because they’re unaware that happiness comes from within. Happiness is an inward state of mind – an obligation to oneself. Your mind is constantly having various thoughts and images. You’re not always completely conscious of what you’re telling yourself, but by becoming more aware of what you’re thinking about, you’ll have greater control over your thoughts. Taking the time to analyze words that cross your mind takes a lot of effort, which is why so few people take the time to do it.

Your Mind Can Be Likened to a Garden

In the book, “As a Man Thinketh” James Allen says that a man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

Take the Happiness That Can Be Yours

The happiness that is yours for the taking can only be obtained if you reduce the amount of time you spend having negative thoughts and increase the amount of time you spend having thoughts that stimulate happiness. There’s an unseen battle going on for your mind, because your mind is your Garden of Eden. The place where your hopes and dreams are planted, and the place where you harbor incidents, unforgiveness and dilemmas. Ephesians 6:12 King James Version (KJV): For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. The battle is not happening in the physical realm, but it’s launched in the secret place (your mind). Could it be that you’re tormented by something that really doesn’t exist and may never come to pass – it’s just conjured up in your head. Don’t let images (imaginations) torment you when you have the ability to bring every thought into captivity. It doesn’t mean it’s gone, it means you have the thought under control so it doesn’t destroy your peace, prosperity and happiness. We can choose to be our own best friend by telling ourselves positive thoughts or our own worst enemy by repeating negative thoughts.
Your happiness is crucial to your well-being. Being unhappy is not ok!

Happiness Challenge:
This mental exercise will help you make a paradigm shift.

Start each day in this manner, by saying: “Divine order takes charge of my life today and every day. All things work together for good for me today. This is a new and wonderful day for me. There will never be another day like this one. I am divinely guided all day long, and whatever I do will prosper. Divine love surrounds me, enfolds me, and enwraps me, and I go forth in peace. Whenever my attention wanders away from that which is good and constructive, I will immediately bring it back to the contemplation of that which is lovely and of good report. I am a spiritual and mental magnet attracting to myself all things which bless and prosper me. I am going to be a wonderful success in all my undertakings today. I am definitely going to be happy all day long.” ~by Dr. Joseph Murphy

Copyright © 2015
Add a comment...

Post has attachment
Choose Happiness Thought for Today
How Your Mind Is Like a Garden
How Your Mind Is Like a Garden
choosehappinessandcivility.blogspot.com
Add a comment...
Wait while more posts are being loaded