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Gonna have to look up this Chelsea Peretti person.

A lot of my friends are vegans now, which I don’t care, eat whatever you want. I just think that my least favorite part of the vegan diet is the verbal part where they explain it to you. It’s just endless. They’re like, "I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t even eat milk or honey, because it takes animal labor to make milk and honey and I think that’s wrong." And it just always strikes me as childish logic, it’s like, "I like bees and I love cows … more than the immigrants that pick the vegetables that I eat."

I spent roughly 15 seconds to find out who she was. In that fifteen seconds, I managed to find people whose reaction to this bit I can only describe as "butthurt." Well, I suppose "offended" would cover it well, too.

I've met plenty of vegans. Most of them were very nice. But the ones who explained veganism, and did so in the fashion that Peretti touches on? Yeah, I found them tiresome and hypocritical.
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27 comments
 
Being a vegan for health reasons (our digestive system resembles a herbivorous animal more than a carnivorous one) and similar makes some sense. However, for "ideals", no. None. Sorry.

I'm not a vegan, btw (though I love vegan food).
 
I make sure, as a public service, to eat either a steak or a burger in front of a vegan at least once a month. ;)
 
I did not cope well during my brief flirtation with veganism. A cat went missing. I'm not saying they're related or anything, but - I've said too much already.

My current diet consists of larger veggie / green portions with smaller meat portions, and red meat only once or twice a week. Mainly because that's what my body seems happiest with.
 
When my cousin went insane, the first sign of it I had was when he became a vegan. He explained that it was because when the aliens showed up they would treat us the way we treat animals and he didn't want to get eaten by the aliens. I get the feeling that at least 99% of vegans have the same philosophy. At least I want to live in a world where they do.
 
That's something else, +Peter Darley. I had read lots of sci-fi and astronomy books before I met my first liberal arts college student, so I was very confused when they told me they were Vegan.
 
+Peter Darley That dude is going to be disappointed as hell when first contact is made with carrot people.
 
+David Bleecher No! Down with this "grain-fed human" nonsense. They need proper marbling and nice soft muscle mass.

More Twinkies and television for everyone! And stay on the Internet! Exercise and "healthy eating" make you stringy and tasteless unattractive to the gender of your choice!
 
+Brian Wisti I've got it covered, Zlorb. I've been soaking all chlorophyl in animal fats since the early 90's (in human vernacular... it's a hard habit to break since I have no other way of explaining when the movie "Reality Bites" came out).
 
What a relief, +David Bleecher. The cultivation of ironic detachment is the greatest innovation for human ranching in the last hundred cycles.
 
i'm from the midwest. where'd the steak sauce go?
 
+Brian Wisti Exactly my thoughts, Zlorb. Thank the Great Zelazny for Winona Ryder and Janeane Garofalo for delivering forth the apathy which has made our "Vegan" meals so delectable. ;)
 
ha, people who don't live by our ideals, we should so pressure them with humiliation until they conform.
 
and now in one single word, i will undo all modern thoughts about said vegan-ism. this word is anathema to vegans, as it undoes all theory, and lays claim to fact while disproving totally the vegan ideal.
this word?

incisors.
 
Incisors clearly evolved for tearing into the flesh of hostile avocados, back when they roamed ancient Atlantis in packs. I'm pretty sure I saw that on the History channel.
 
If it was on the history channel, then they must have been Nazi avocados.
 
the dread NAZI-CADOS!!!

run for your Birkenstock wearing, hemp cloth sewing, plant-nomming lives!
 
Alien Nazi avocados that abducted Jesus. It's a fact. 
 
is that why whenever he comes out behind that rock and sees his shadow there's six more weeks of tithing?
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