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Brian “bsulla” Fuller
Worked at Capital One
Attended Chruch Farm School
Lived in Fairfax, VA
345 followers|453,107 views



h/t +Eli Fennell 
My Biggest Horror Movie Pet Peeves

Happy Halloween!

Like many of you in those parts of the world that celebrate Halloween or some variation thereon, I've been binging a bit of horror this season, and I've been thinking a lot about things they do in horror movies which bother me.

Mind you, the existence of these clichés is part of the fun of the genre and the season, but there is a contrast between those horror movies that are regarded are true cinema classics, and those which become pastimes of the holidays, and abuse of cliché is one thing that tends to separate the two.

My Top Horror Movie Peeves

1) Cellphones

Horror movie writers seem generally at a loss on how to incorporate these ubiquitous parts of our lives into their stories without it seeming ridiculously awkward.

The most common way to deal with them, and the laziest way, is the dead battery.  For me, it robs the suspense, because I immediately think, "If their battery hadn't conveniently died, wouldn't the story be over right now?"

Yes, batteries do die in real life, but if the only thing keeping the monster from Jeepers Creepers from being captured instead of killing dozens of people for years on end is a dead battery, his days are certainly numbered.  No killer can continue to be larger-than-life if a car charger thwarts his plans.

After dead batteries comes Dead Zones, places where no signal can get out.  These are a bit more forgivable than dead batteries, because even now some small part of the United States and a larger part of the world has no cellular reception at all.  It is very possible to fit this into a story.  It also makes sense that at least some types of horror movie killers, those of the non supernatural variety in particular, would seek out such places to reside or just to 'hunt'.

On the other hand, if your Post Nuclear Hillbilly Clan depends a vanishingly small number of people who are dumb enough to drive down an empty desert road that isn't listed on their GPS in a Dead Zone area on the advice of a hick corner store owner, your days are quickly drawing to a close.  This is why I couldn't sympathize with the family from The Hills Have Eyes (remake): the characters were made to eat a turd sandwich of stupid to advance the plot.

After this comes the stealing of the cellphone by the killer.  I have no problem with this if done right: smart (non Supernatural) killers would take your phone from you.  I wasn't enamored of how it was done, on the other hand, in the movie The Strangers.  While otherwise a great film, the killers succeeded only because both of the two protagonists bone-headedly left their phones somewhere it could be snatched without their knowing.  Not once: twice.  If either one hadn't done this, the plot would have been over.

Cellphones do present unique challenges in how a (non Supernatural) killer or killers would have to go about their activities to succeed.  Truly frightening horror killers need to appear Beyond the Reach of the Law, and cellphones narrow that.  Nonetheless, horror films either need to do cellphones right, or not do them at all.

They also need to start recognizing the way people really use tech.  A cellphone isn't just a way for the character to call cops, after all, they use them now for social networks, selfies, navigation, and more.  The absence of such behaviors in a movie set in contemporary times is becoming a painfully notable absence.

2) Parents

Parents in horror movies are the worst.  Oftentimes, horror movies involving young people opt to pretend as if parents didn't exist, as if they were these ghostly figures children could wander through their youths, in groups, rarely brushing up against.

When they're not absent, they're horrible, whether abusive, neglectful, or insanely suspicious of everything their child tells them, even when their child is genuinely fearful for their health and safety.  As Doctor House once said of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, "I don't care how often the kid cries he's going to be eaten by a wolf, the mom's going to come running."

Horror movie parents seem frighteningly unconcerned when their children display all the symptoms of mortal terror at an age when such a feeling should be impossible to fake.  Or, they assume the child is having a nervous breakdown, with one or the other parent or both lamenting that it seemed inevitable, usually due to some history in the family of mental illness.  Because parents are all very Zen and Centered about their kids having serious mental illness.

I'm not saying all parents are wonderful, but horror movie parents exist in a parallel world where it's a wonder the human race's progeny survive their childhoods in any great numbers.

3) Memory Holes

Too many horror movies depend on a 'Memory Hole', whereby the ending can seemingly ignore every previous development in the story on the assumption you'll never watch the movie again.

This isn't unique to horror movies, mind you, some of the most celebrated 'twists' in movie history actually make no sense in retrospect.  See Söze, Keyser for a classic example of a 'twist' involving a killer that flies in the face of any logic when you watch the movie over again.

Horror movies abuse this to an excess unmatched in any other genre.  While in part a sendup of the entire genre, and thus forgivable for its excess, this was best exemplified by the movie Scream, wherein we discover the two killers always planned Sidney's death in a spectacular climax, despite seemingly trying quite seriously to kill her more than once before that reveal.

4) Is This Killer Human, or Supernatural?

Many films in the horror genre have had killers whom you, the audience, are clearly meant to identify as human, yet who behave more supernatural.  Real humans aren't generally talented at moving in shadows, keeping to your periphery, or entering and leaving locked or tight spaces without making noise.

Scream, The Strangers, and even Saw seem to be very much at times confused as to whether their killers are human, or supernatural, performing feats of strength, stealth, improbable foreknowledge of events, and even apparent invulnerability in some cases to lethal violence that it feels like the killer is less human than some utterly otherworldly force.

Some successful films and franchises have deliberately exploited a blurring of the two, such as Halloween (both versions) or House of 1000 Corpses.  This can be forgiven, as at least the question in these cases is made explicit: is Michael Myers a demon or just some crazy dude who's hard to put down, is Doctor Satan supernatural or just a mad genius doctor like Frankenstein?

5) Found Footage

'Nuff said.  I get physically ill trying to watch most Found Footage films due to motion sickness.  When I'm not wondering why the idiot hasn't dropped the camera other than 'The Screenplay Demands It', I'm bothered that I have to see the world in a way better fit for professional crime investigators.

As a genre, it rarely works, in my opinion, beyond the fact that it costs very little to make and with sufficient hype can yield many factors of what it cost to make in return.

What are your horror movie pet peeves?

#HappyHalloween   #HorrorMovies
3 comments on original post
Eli Fennell's profile photoQatar India's profile photo
Thanks for the emphatic agreement. ;-)
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Definitely worth a read even if the Hyundai Tucson isn't the car you are looking for but guard your spleen before you start. 
I recently went to the launch of the all-new Hyundai Tucson, which is the best compact SUV on the market. This took place in Minnesota, home to 10,000 lakes, and approximately 4.2 million angry mosquitos. The 2016 Hyundai Tucson: It May Be Boring, But It's Damn Good The 2016 Hyundai Tucson: It May Be Boring, But It's Damn Good The 2016 Hyundai Tucson: It May Be Boring, But It& Without a doubt, the s...
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You're drunk robots...go home.
Lee Norden's profile photoClarissa Williams's profile photoBrian “bsulla” Fuller's profile photo
I'm sure I don't remember what your talking about +Lee Norden​ 😉
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Have him in circles
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The US Senate convened for a vote on the controversial Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act (CISA) today as well as five amendments to it. All five amendments, which would have restrained law enforcement from abusing the bill's powers as well as made corporations more accountable for their roles in protecting consumer information, have failed.

As it stands now, not only will companies and the federal government be able to swap the PIIs of any American caught up in a major cyber attack, neither those affected nor the media will be able to inquire as to what actually happened -- thereby eliminating any sort of governmental transparency in these matters.
The US Senate convened for a vote on the controversial Cybersecurity Information Sharing Act (CISA) today as well as five amendments to it. All five amendments,...
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"The bill would also create a bizarre double-standard: the government would be prohibited from using this information to police the companies that provided it, but would be free to use it to investigate you for matters unrelated to cybersecurity. The corporations’ privacy rights would matter more than your privacy rights."

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With the recent messaging vulnerability announced for Android OS are there any legal requirements for phone manufacturers (looking at you +Samsung Support USA​) to roll out security patches? 
Brian “bsulla” Fuller's profile photoSamsung Support USA's profile photo
Thanks. Brian. Can you please send us a Facebook message on our official page so we can continue : . ^Zoe
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Just ordered my first Outwell tent to be dispatched to Portland, OR USA. Based on what I've seen online I don't think there is a single tent that can come close to the features for the price here in the US. I have a feeling this tent will get some attention in our Pac North West campgrounds.

Would love to hear from any US Outwell tent owners about their experiences.
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You have the same tent as me. Great choice. You will not be disappointed. 
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If this +Chipotle Mexican Grill​ burrito's rocking it's because the dancer's are popping and locking at the PDX Pride Parade.
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that's organic beef right there 
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+Chipotle Mexican Grill​ showing pride in PDX and that burrito was rocking. 
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IBM / Sys Admin
  • Capital One
    Systems Administrator, 2011
Map of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has livedMap of the places this user has lived
Fairfax, VA - Paoli, PA - Richmond, VA - Portland, OR
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Opulence....I has its.

You know me if:

1. You went to Church Farm School in Paoli, PA in the late 80s early 90s
2. You grew up around Lake Braddock in Fairfax County in the 80s
3. You lived in the West End suburb of Richmond, VA  between 2000 and 2010.
4. Live in Portland, OR.

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Created the most handsome, amazing, intelligent son ever with an average wife which says a lot about me!
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UPDATE: A long time favorite is no more. Much to my chagrin changes have taken place at Oba. Some are significant, like removing my wife's absolute favorite dish...the banana steak (bife a micalense) from the menu. Others more subtle, like replacing mashed potatoes with rice pilaf and taking away the roasted corn salsa from the vaca frita, or using banana sorbet instead of banana ice cream with the malasadas. Even the amazing guac is not enough to bring us back to Oba sadly. Here's to hoping your favorite(s) have been left untouched. Oba is our go-to for special occasions. The food and drinks are always good and always consistent. The only negative about Oba is the service. It is almost always slow. Slow like put your next drink order in when you current drink is being served. And it's not just an issue with the bar. The timing of the food service has been off on just about every visit. We always order the same dishes so we order everything when the server first visits our table but our food inexplicably comes out after tables that were seated after us and ordered after us. It was so bad the last time that I actually adjusted our tip and left a note on the back of the receipt.
• • •
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Incredible flavors. Fresh ingredients. You'd be hard pressed to find better pizza.
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This review is specific to the Brasada Trail horseback tour. My wife, teenage son, and I booked a hour and a half private tour of the area around Brasada. Our guide, Harrison, and his four legged partner Shep , took us on a tour of some of the most scenic areas I have ever seen. The horses were on complete auto pilot which made taking in the views a true pleasure. I highly recommend this tour and cannot speak highly enough about Harrison and Shep.
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Always a great experience here. Highly recommended for a low key place with good bar grub and drink selection.
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Went here on the recommendation of someone that lives in Bend and she has made the Christmas card list. The food here was excellent. Full of flavor and unique ingredients. If you are looking for an amazing veggie/vegan menu I would argue you won't find a better place than this.
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Went on the Lava Tube Cave tours with Wanderlust. Our guide, Chip, was extremely knowledgeable and engaging. All the of the children were on his heels for the entire tour with rapid fire questions which he fielded like a pro. We enjoyed the trip very much and I would highly recommend it.
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