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Bitter Empire
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You guys. There is so much visual stimulation this week. SO MUCH. But I hesitate to tell you to close your eyes if you’re feeling overwhelmed because it is all absolute top-notch batshittery and well worth the disorientation and seizures. Elimination!…
On this week's America's Next Top Model, the models get roped into promoting Tyra's new cosmetics line while wearing 'Mad Max' costume castoffs.
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Old-school DJ skills went a little like this: Notice two turntables, minimal knobs, hands moving here and there. The guy is focused and has no time for anything else but the task at hand. This is what DJ skills look like today: Three goons at one station…
DJ Steve Aoki took time out of his difficult knob-twiddling duties to raft across a crowd and injure someone.
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I saw Run the Jewels this week. It was rad. “36” Chain” is the best beat the world has ever heard. I won’t repeat myself. I’m dealing with the same struggle I suppose everyone else is. I never quite know how to answer when someone asks how I’m doing. My…
We're not talking about guns, and that's stupid. Oh, there's also a playlist.
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When I heard that the incendiary duo of Killer Mike and El-P aka Run the Jewels had booked a show at Nashville’s Marathon Music Works, I was skeptical. They were just here a year ago at Exit/In, and Marathon is three times the capacity. They had just…
Brandon goes to see El-P and Killer Mike on the Jewel Runner tour.
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Available on Hulu Sometimes on sitcoms – especially ensemble sitcoms – the pull to give characters separate storylines and the limitations of the format prove too much for the show. Case in point: this lumpy, disjointed episode that never really figures…
Here's what happens when neither the A- or B-plots of 'Taxi' are remotely compelling.
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Three Jake Gyllenhaal Football Movies People scoffed when Variety first announced that Jake Gyllenhaal would be playing Joe Namath in a new movie. The kid from Bubble Boy? The Brokedown Mountain star as Broadway Joe? Impossible, they scoffed. They were…
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Reader, you probably don’t know this, but you’ve probably agreed that it’s still totally OK for the government to listen in on your encrypted communications. Like many things involving the three-letter agencies, your agreement is secret, even to yourself,…
Aren't you glad you've handed the keys to your digital kingdom to the NSA, now and forever?
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We are stunned and saddened to learn that our not-yet-driven-to-madness Top Model recapper, Ali Davis, has written a full-length play called Speak Now. This is a problem, because it indicates that Ms. Davis has not been devoting sufficient attention to…
Our own Ali Davis of recapping 'America's Next Top Model' fame wrote a play, and you should throw some money at it.
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Dear Bitter Butch, My brother has two children – a 7-year-old boy and 6-year-old girl. His wife is CATHOLIC – in all caps. Their wedding included something like five priests (I can’t remember exactly, I just remember it was well above the required…
Bitter Butch tells you what to do about your family's insistent Catholicism.
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The season of pumpkin spice and Halloween is upon us, folks. What else does that translate to? The return of FX’s mega-hit, American Horror Story. This season is all about a Hotel theme (not, thankfully, based upon the ridiculous 1980s TV show) and I can…
As a new season of 'American Horror Story' begins, let's take a trip down memory lane.
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WELCOME. The Crabby Old Punk Rock Advice Lady is open for business, and is here to help you with your practical life quandaries! Warning: This is not an advice column; the COPRAL is not here to help you with your relationships, your mom, or your…
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Takaaki Kajita and Arthur B McDonald won the 2015 Nobel Prize in Physics this morning for their work on neutrinos. Neutrinos are subatomic particles that bombard the Earth constantly, but they pass right through us. And everything else. They’re like…
A neutrino and a photon walk into a bar. For the next 60 nanoseconds the neutrino complains about how dark it is. With apologies to Kajita and McDonald.
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We are the Empire at the End of the Decadence
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Catch up on the most bitter articles about science, law and the arts at BitterEmpire.com - the sister site of BitterLawyer.com
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