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Birth Moms Today Life Coach Kim Noeth
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Hi! I’m Kim Noeth – Birth Mom Today Life Coach.
Hi! I’m Kim Noeth – Birth Mom Today Life Coach.

98 followers
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🎶🎶On the ELEVENTH Day of Awareness .....Birth Moms Today Shared with me... 🎶🎶
what about abuse in the adoption community?🎶🎶

It wouldn't be accurate if we didn't shed awareness on the topic of abuse especially in the adoption community.

Abuse is no stranger to the adoption community. Recent news articles could be shared that all tell horrific stories of children being abused by foster and adoptive families. Many members of the adoption triad have suffered from abuse prior to the adoption journey or on the adoption journey and unless that abuse is healed it is very difficult to move forward in others areas of ones life.

People often believe that no one could ever understand the abuse that they have lived through.

That belief can hold them back from getting help they need because they feel like their circumstances are beyond what anyone could ever understand or deal with.

Sometimes in order to believe we too can make it out, we need to meet other people who have been through what we have. People who have overcome their past experience and have gone on to live a life that they have peace about.

John's story gives that kind of hope..entirely....

His story speaks such abusive intensity that it would be difficult for someone to not be able to see a piece of their own story through his story. I think its crucial to human survival that we all take ownership of our story and decide to be in control of how its going to end.

I saw John on instagram and knew immediately that he was extraordinary and that his story was a story I had to share... so without any further ado.......<3
You can Click here to read more:
https://birthmomstoday.com/meet-john-borgstedt-child-abuse-survivor-and-hero-for-others/
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🎶🎶On the TENTH Day of Awareness .....Birth Moms Today Shared with me...🎶🎶
Help is available for you Emotionally. 🎶🎶

A huge part of the adoption process is an emotional part.

There are so many emotions present each and every day. Emotions from how you feel about being pregnant to how the pregnancy makes you feel physically and emotionally.

Hormones are trying to take center stage and family and friends start contributing their opinions to the thoughts and ideas you might already be processing.

Now you have to choose a family from real people who it's important and necessary to get to know. This can be emotionally draining.

Add to it..finding an agency to work with and who you can trust to carry out your wishes.

This is emotional stuff.

Those are just some initial emotions that need to be cared for and that are adoption related. Chances are you will also have things going on in your life from before the adoption that still need to be worked through.

Then there's AFTER the adoption takes place.

The initial feelings of overwhelm and love coupled with loss and grief.

These emotions will come all at once or they might be ongoing or both. There will be certain stages in your life that you and even your immediate family members will need support and encouragement.

You do not have to walk the adoption journey alone. There are many support groups across the United States. After several years have passed you might want to start a support group yourself. People just need a safe place to unfold.

Click here for some things you can do for emotional support include.
https://birthmomstoday.com/emotional-help-for-birth-moms-today/
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🎶On the NINTH Day of Awareness .....Birth Moms Today Shared with me... 🎶🎶
.....when is the adoption considered done, legally? 🎶

Every state has different laws and these laws can change frequently so it is important to know what the laws are for the state that you live in.

You will want to be sure that you have your own separate lawyer who is representing the legal aspects of this adoption.

Not the same lawyer as the family adopting your child.

There are steps that will need to be carefully followed in order for the adoption to be considered legal.

Even if you are placing your child with a family member there will still need to be things done legally in order for it to be an official adoption.

You will want to know if you are entitled to a legal contract to document the specific post adoption agreements made between you and the couple adopting.

You will want to know what the law states if those agreements are not followed through.

There is a certain amount of time that must pass after you deliver the baby before you can sign the relinquishment papers. Find out what that is in your state.

There is a certain period of time that you can still change your mind even after the papers are signed. Make sure you know what this timeline is.

It's important that you fully understand this BEFORE you are in the hospital and under medication and emotional distress.

You do not have to pay for this service. Your adoption legal fees are completely covered for you in an adoption relationship.

Many expectant moms today are choosing to work exclusively with an adoption lawyer when they have picked a family.

If you are already working with an adoption agency they will make sure you receive the legal help needed but be sure this includes separate representation.

- "There is no single resource where one can find out all of the consent and revocation periods in the United States. The reason such a resource does not exist is because the laws can change frequently by the legislature or as a result of a court decision, they can be different within the same state depending on whether the adoption is an agency or private adoption and which state law applies to the particular adoption impacts which consent and revocation laws apply."

Read more here: http://info.jenniferfairfax.com/family-formation-blog/consent-and-revocation-periods-for-adoption
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🎶 On the EIGHTH Day of Awareness 🎶 .....Birth Moms Today Shared with me... 🎶🎵
Options for my baby's delivery...

An important part of an adoption plan includes the hospital plan.
Planning ahead as to what you will do on that day is not only helpful but vital.

Hospital plans are created to be sure that an expectant parent’s desires are followed through with at the time that the baby is due to be born.

You are not going to be feeling up to making important decisions when you go into labor and are dealing with labor pains.

You'll want to know ahead of time things like:

Do you want pain meds?
Do you plan to breastfeed?
Who is your support system?
Who do you want to be there when your in labor?
What role is each member going to play in the hospital?
Has a name been chosen for the baby?
Do you want time alone with the baby?
Do you want the baby to sleep in your room?
Do you want the adopting couple in the room?
Do you want pictures taken in the hospital?
Any memorabilia you'd like to have from the hospital stay?
Do you want to be there when the baby leaves the hospital?
These plans may change over time but it is important to have some things thought out and established ahead of time.

Need help creating a plan? Let's talk.
www.BirthMomsToday.com
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You want to choose an adoption agency with commitments like this one from Adoptions Together: " Our commitment to birthparents is ongoing- it doesn’t end once an adoption is finalized."

You want to know the families they represent all go through an extensive home study: " The home-study process also includes an FBI background check and a state police background check in order to complete."

You want to know what there stand on open adoption is:
" We believe that open adoption is the healthiest kind of adoption for adoptive parents, children and birth parents. Open adoption allows all members of the adoption triad to fully understand and process the complexities of adoption identity over time and we are committed to encouraging and facilitating open adoptions as a cornerstone of our work.

Learn more about Adoptions Together here: https://birthmomstoday.com/adoptions-together/
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Years ago when I placed a child I was given the names of two different agencies and told to pick one.

Either Catholic Charities or Spence Chapin.

The informaton I had to make this choice was simply those two names.

No options.

No one told me what the one agency could offer me verses the other. Most of the decisions were made for me. I felt at the mercy of others.

That's wrong!

It doesn't HAVE to be that way anymore.

That is why this series is running on different adoption agencies and the options they can offer each pregnant woman.

It's important to research the differences between one agency verses another.

Meet the staff.

These are going to be the people helping you work through one of your biggest life decisions.
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Heart of Adoptions was founded by @JeanneTTate Jeanne has inspired me that one person can make a BIG difference. I've met Mary and Meredith who are the other hearts behind this loving agency. Heart of Adoptions wants any woman reaching out to us to know she will be treated with dignity, confidentiality, and respect. We aim to educate on options and support the best decision for her and her child.
https://birthmomstoday.com/heart-of-adoptions/
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Meet the founder of A Baby Step Adoption, Barbara Casey and learn more about this agency and the others that she founded when seeing a need for birth mom services. Highlights of this agency include:" a program where we petition the court and we request that the sessions be paid for by the state counseling funds and they have lots of former birthmothers who are willing to talk to expectant mothers and could provide useful insight and guidance from an insider’s point of view.
They are located in Pennsylvania but work with clients and birthmothers nationwide.
Learn more about them here: https://birthmomstoday.com/a-baby-step-adoption/
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Introducing.." Forever Bound" as the next agency that we took some time to learn about. I've had the pleasure of meeting Steve Sunday and have observed that the character and backbone of this agency and the other great work he has done in the adoption community are all a genuine part of who he is as a person. Karen and Steve both put their heart into the work they do and the women that work with them feel the love as a result.
You can learn more here:
https://birthmomstoday.com/forever-bound-adoption/
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One of the agencies we interviewed was "Haven Adoptions."
We spoke with Sarah at Haven Adoption to learn about their services to pregnant women considering adoption. <3 <3Two things I really loved learning about this agency were- 1. The peer to peer program- YES!! … and then 2. the fact that Haven gives the expectant mom up to a month post adoption to decide what type of openness they would like, including visits. <3 <3
Learn more here:
https://birthmomstoday.com/haven-adoptions-pennsylvania/
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