Crowd-sourcing a tongue-in-cheek article, and I need you all to be the crowd!

I was conversing with my buddy about ways to speed up modern RPG combat (mini-based mostly) and he instantly came up with this:

How to speed up RPG combat:
1. Play Palladium Fantasy RPG

It's fast, fluid, and has no minis, hence the joke. Haha.

What other great 'tips' can you think of to make your modern RPG experience (ahem) better? And by better, I mean worse. And by worse, I mean funny and telling satirical tips. If I get a bunch, I'll post 'em on TC with a link back to this post.
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