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Beach On Bourbon
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"Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'" - Rodney Dangerfield
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"I like to have a martini,Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host." - Dorothy Parker
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“If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home”
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"Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity." - Sammy Davis, Jr.
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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." --Hunter S. Thompson
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"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."--Mark Twain
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"The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer." --Ancient Egyption Proverb, 2200 B.C
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"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" - WC Fields
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"I'm gaining weight the right way: I'm drinking beer." - Johnny Damon
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"Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . ." --Thornton Mellon, Back to School
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